I don't think I can do this anymore....

You feel you cannot go on, that you have reached the very end. But hear this: as long as it is still called “today,” while you yet draw breath, there is no room for despair. The Evil One never loses hope of our destruction, yet we so quickly hand him the victory by despairing of our own salvation. Do not do this. The fact that you cry out proves that the flame of faith still burns, even if it seems a mere ember.

You say this is the third time you have sought help and nothing has changed. But consider the three youths in the furnace. They did not say, “God will deliver us by a certain day or else we renounce Him.” They declared, “He will deliver us. But if not, we will still not bow.” Abraham did not demand his son back on his own terms; he was ready for the worst, and against all hope he received him again. You, too, have been setting a time upon God’s mercy, as if bargaining. It is exactly when we cease to demand swift relief and instead brace our souls for endurance that His mighty hand moves. Why should He deliver you while you cling to despair as a ransom? Let go of the clock and the calendar. Trust the One who did not spare His own Son for your sake; will He then refuse you anything truly needed for salvation?

This present affliction is not proof of His neglect but of His loving discipline. Patience is born in these fires, and patience forges a hope that does not put to shame. You feel pressed, perplexed, but you are not crushed utterly. Endure a little longer. Do not gaze at the storm; look to the haven. The husbandman toils all year and often sees the harvest fail, yet he sows again. You have sown tears; do not grudge the wait for the sheaves.

So I do not rebuke you, but I exhort you with all gentleness: do not harden your heart by despair. Today the door stands open. The Scriptures were written that we might have hope. Lay hold of that hope. The night is long, but the Day is coming. Hold fast, not because you see an end, but because God sees you.
 

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