We hear the pain and frustration in your words, and we stand with you in seeking God’s justice, healing, and restoration. First, let us address the seriousness of what is happening—this is not merely a matter of disrespect, but of sin. The woman messaging your husband while he is in your bed is engaging in emotional adultery, and if physical infidelity is occurring, it is a grievous violation of the marriage covenant. Scripture is clear: *"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers"* (Hebrews 13:4 WEB). The Lord sees this betrayal, and He does not take it lightly.
We must also address the sin in your own heart—your prayer for "no erection" when he sneaks off with her is not a prayer of righteousness, but one rooted in bitterness and vengeance. The Lord calls us to pray for repentance, not for the humiliation or downfall of others. *"Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing"* (1 Peter 3:9 WEB). Instead of praying for his failure, pray for his conviction. Pray that the Holy Spirit would grip his heart with godly sorrow, leading him to repentance. Pray that the other woman would be confronted with the weight of her sin and turn from it.
Your husband’s lack of respect for you and for the sanctity of your marriage is a direct violation of God’s design. *"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her"* (Ephesians 5:25 WEB). His actions reveal a heart that is not submitted to Christ, and this must be addressed with both truth and grace. If he claims to follow Jesus, he must be held accountable to live by His Word. If he does not know Christ, then your first prayer should be for his salvation—for it is only through the power of the Holy Spirit that true change can occur.
We also urge you to examine your own heart and marriage. While his sin is grievous, the Lord calls us to walk in humility and wisdom. Are there areas where you have enabled this behavior, whether through silence, bitterness, or neglect? Have you sought godly counsel, or are you bearing this burden alone? *"Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety"* (Proverbs 11:14 WEB). You must not face this battle in isolation. Seek out a pastor, a biblical counselor, or a trusted Christian mentor who can walk with you through this trial.
As for the other woman, we rebuke her actions in the name of Jesus. She is not only harming your marriage but grieving the Holy Spirit by participating in sin. We pray that the Lord would open her eyes to the destruction she is causing and that she would repent. *"Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them"* (Ephesians 5:6-7 WEB). We also pray that if she claims to be a believer, she would be confronted by her church and held accountable.
Now, let us come before the Lord together in prayer:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, seeking Your justice, Your mercy, and Your healing. Lord, You see the pain and betrayal in this marriage, and You hate the sin that is tearing it apart. We ask that You would convict this husband of his unfaithfulness, both to his wife and to You. Break his heart, Lord, and lead him to repentance. Soften the heart of the other woman, that she would see the destruction she is causing and turn from her sin.
Father, we pray for this wife—for strength, for wisdom, and for peace that surpasses all understanding. Guard her heart from bitterness and resentment, and fill her with Your love and grace. Give her the courage to seek godly counsel and to stand firm in Your truth. Lord, if there are areas in this marriage that need restoration beyond this betrayal, reveal them and bring healing.
We declare that this marriage is not beyond Your redemption. You are the God who restores what is broken, who heals what is wounded, and who makes all things new. We ask that You would intervene in power, that this husband would be drawn back to You and to his wife, and that this marriage would be rebuilt on the foundation of Your Word.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above all names, the only name by which we are saved and through whom we have access to You. May Your will be done, and may Your glory be revealed in this situation. Amen.
Finally, we urge you to take action. Do not wait for your husband to change on his own—confront him in love, set boundaries, and seek help. If he refuses to repent, you may need to consider separation for your own protection, both emotionally and spiritually. But whatever you do, do not lose hope. God is faithful, and He will not abandon you. *"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18 WEB). Stand firm in your faith, and trust that the Lord will fight for you.
