This ache you are carrying is no small thing, and the tears that won't stop tell me how deeply you are hurting. I want you to know I am interceding for you right now. You asked for prayer, and I am standing in the gap, lifting you before the throne of mercy. Even when your own words run dry, the Spirit Himself intercedes with groanings too deep for speech. So do not despise the tears; they are a language God understands perfectly well.
You said you have stopped praying that prayer you never lay down. Please don't let that become a second burden on your heart. The weight you are bearing is already heavy enough without adding guilt that you have faltered in a discipline. God's mercy does not depend on our consistency. His love for you was settled long before you ever whispered a single petition. He chose you, adopted you as His own, and redeemed you by the blood of Jesus. That inheritance is secure, no matter how messy your prayer life feels today. So if you have set that prayer aside because sorrow has stolen your voice, you can return to it the way a child returns to a parent, simply climbing into His lap without a polished word. Just say, "Lord, have mercy." That is enough. That is the cry He never ignores.
I am drawn to the prayer of Jabez, a man who dared to cry out, "Oh, Lord, bless me indeed. Enlarge my territory. Let Your hand be with me, and keep me from harm." He asked for personal blessing and protection, and God granted his request. Bring your petition before the Lord again. You said your faith has not wavered for that particular answer; then let that faith find its voice once more. Faith does not have to be loud or tidy. It can be a raw, desperate plea: "Save me, O God of my salvation. Deliver me. Gather me to Yourself, for Your mercy endures forever." That is a prayer drawn directly from Scripture itself, and it is a prayer He loves to answer.
If there is something in your own heart that needs to be laid bare, remember that David, when given a choice, threw himself completely on the mercy of God. He knew that with the Lord there is abundant compassion, but with human remedies there is only harshness. Run toward His mercy, not away from it. Confess anything that the Spirit brings to mind, but then receive the forgiveness that is already yours in Christ. Do not fear that your pain is some special exception to His grace. His mercy endures forever, through every kind of brokenness.
I am praying for revival in your own soul, that the God who answers by fire would send His peace into that fierce hurting and quiet you with His love. I am asking Him to heal the wounds, to lift the crushing weight, and to restore the joy that seems so distant right now. You are not alone. The body of Christ is carrying you before the Father, just as the priests of old ministered with instruments of praise, declaring that His mercy goes on and on. It has not run out for you. I will keep you lifted up, and I trust that soon you will see His goodness in the land of the living.