A
Ama
Guest
I am really suffering spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and financially because of one major problem in my life. It's a problem I have been living with since I turned 18...and now I am 29, every year this problem gets worse and so do my daily thoughts of committing suicide. I feel like I am cursed; the one thing I need most in my life is the one thing I'm being deprived of. My problem is the fact that I cannot seem to get one man to love me enough to commit to me in marriage. I don't understand why God will urge us to marry and help others to marry and yet when it comes to me, I have been crying for years, suffering, being used and abused, lied to by men, and yet all my prayers to Him seem to be futile. I have been raped, abused, almost murdered just in search of a husband. I have prayed for God to help friends of mine and people get married just to see them happy, and it has happened. But when it comes to me, it seems like no one is praying for me. Right now, as I type, I am crying my head off because of this problem in my life; I am like an abnormal person, I cannot think straight, I cannot read my Bible without thinking of this, I cannot carry on a good conversation without lacking confidence due to this issue. I am stressed and almost at the tipping point. Someone please pray for me; I am about to come to my demise. I prayed for my ex ### whom I am still in love with for us to get back together. I have seen a little hope because he contacted me for the new year, and at least we are communicating somehow, but he has not indicated any interest in having me back in his life. We have just been having friendly chats. But I am still thankful to God for this stage because before this, we were not communicating after a bad breakup; he wasn't even answering my text. We broke up after a fight we had after he complained that I wasn't financially stable, I was getting fat, and wasn't practicing his culture efficiently. There are also two other guys that are interested in me, but I don't really feel for them like I feel for ###, and besides, I am not sure if they like me for the right reasons and whether either of them will be willing to marry me. There's been no intimacy between these two other guys and me so far, and I am hoping that it remains that way, and I get married soon. Please pray for me that God will have mercy on me and forgive me for my sins and help the one with the right heart towards Him to be brave enough to stand up and marry me. I need to get married so I can live a stable life with a husband, for us to be focused on God, to love God and love each other and care for others in need, and to be fruitful and multiply and raise children in accordance with the principles of God. Please pray for me and others suffering in similar ways; this is getting very difficult for me.
