I am carrying a deep hurt and facing a problem in my relationship with my brother, ###. My desire is to forgive and for the relationship to be restored. He is perhaps the most difficult person, and this the most challenging relationship, I have ever known. Yet, this broken relationship and the hurt in my heart stand as a barrier to drawing closer to God. Let us pray that God helps me to truly forgive completely—freeing me from hurt and negative thoughts—so that my heart may be pure and at peace, in the name of Jesus Christ! Let us pray that God grants me wisdom and intervenes to resolve this issue, aligning the relationship with His will, in the name of Jesus Christ! Let us pray that God heals my heart and soul and protects me from further hurt, in the name of Jesus Christ! Thank you... God bless you!
I am carrying a deep hurt 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭
- Thread starter Vladi777
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We hear the depth of your hurt and we join with you in bringing this burden before the Lord, for we know how heavy a broken family relationship can weigh on the heart and how it can feel like a barrier between you and God. Your desire to forgive completely and to see this relationship with your brother restored according to God's will is a godly and beautiful desire, and we commend you for seeking purity and peace in your heart rather than holding onto bitterness.
The Scripture calls us to forgive as we have been forgiven, even when the other person is difficult and the relationship is challenging. We are reminded in Ephesians 4:32 to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, and in Colossians 3:13 to bear with one another, and forgive each other, if any man has a complaint against any, even as Christ forgave you, so you also do. Jesus teaches us in Matthew 6:14-15 that if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Forgiveness is not saying the hurt did not matter, it is releasing the debt to God and choosing to free your own heart from the prison of resentment and negative thoughts, so that you may walk in freedom.
At the same time we recognize that reconciliation depends on both hearts. Romans 12:18 says if it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men. You can obey God by forgiving and pursuing peace, even while you trust God with your brother's response and with the timing of restoration. Your honesty that this is the most difficult relationship you have known shows us why you need divine wisdom, and God promises in James 1:5 that if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. He will give you wisdom to know when to speak, when to be silent, when to set healthy boundaries, and how to love without reopening wounds unnecessarily.
We also know God is near to you in this pain and He desires to heal you. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit, and Psalm 147:3 says He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. The hurt you carry does not have to keep you from drawing near to God, for James 4:8 promises draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. As you bring this hurt to Jesus, He will guard your heart with His peace. Philippians 4:7 says and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Matthew 11:28 invites you, come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest.
We pray together now for you in the name of Jesus Christ.
Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and we lift up our dear one who is carrying this deep hurt. Lord, You see the pain in this heart and the struggle with this brother. We ask that You pour out Your grace to enable true and complete forgiveness, not by human strength but by Your Spirit, so that all bitterness, resentment and negative thoughts are washed away. Create in this heart a purity and a peace that only You can give, and let Your peace guard this heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Grant wisdom beyond understanding, wisdom to speak and act in love and truth, and intervene in this relationship according to Your perfect will. Where there is hardness, bring softness, where there is misunderstanding, bring clarity, and where restoration is possible, make a way for it in Your timing. Heal the heart and soul that have been wounded, bind up every wound, and be a shield and protector from further hurt, teaching how to love with both grace and godly boundaries. Draw this heart ever closer to You through this trial, and let this pain become a testimony of Your healing power. We thank You that You hear us because we ask in the name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to continue to abide in prayer and in the Word, to release this hurt to God daily, even when feelings return, and to trust that God is working even when you cannot see progress. Keep seeking Him first, and He will keep your heart pure and at peace as you walk in obedience to Him.
The Scripture calls us to forgive as we have been forgiven, even when the other person is difficult and the relationship is challenging. We are reminded in Ephesians 4:32 to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, and in Colossians 3:13 to bear with one another, and forgive each other, if any man has a complaint against any, even as Christ forgave you, so you also do. Jesus teaches us in Matthew 6:14-15 that if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Forgiveness is not saying the hurt did not matter, it is releasing the debt to God and choosing to free your own heart from the prison of resentment and negative thoughts, so that you may walk in freedom.
At the same time we recognize that reconciliation depends on both hearts. Romans 12:18 says if it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men. You can obey God by forgiving and pursuing peace, even while you trust God with your brother's response and with the timing of restoration. Your honesty that this is the most difficult relationship you have known shows us why you need divine wisdom, and God promises in James 1:5 that if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. He will give you wisdom to know when to speak, when to be silent, when to set healthy boundaries, and how to love without reopening wounds unnecessarily.
We also know God is near to you in this pain and He desires to heal you. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit, and Psalm 147:3 says He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. The hurt you carry does not have to keep you from drawing near to God, for James 4:8 promises draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. As you bring this hurt to Jesus, He will guard your heart with His peace. Philippians 4:7 says and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Matthew 11:28 invites you, come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest.
We pray together now for you in the name of Jesus Christ.
Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and we lift up our dear one who is carrying this deep hurt. Lord, You see the pain in this heart and the struggle with this brother. We ask that You pour out Your grace to enable true and complete forgiveness, not by human strength but by Your Spirit, so that all bitterness, resentment and negative thoughts are washed away. Create in this heart a purity and a peace that only You can give, and let Your peace guard this heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Grant wisdom beyond understanding, wisdom to speak and act in love and truth, and intervene in this relationship according to Your perfect will. Where there is hardness, bring softness, where there is misunderstanding, bring clarity, and where restoration is possible, make a way for it in Your timing. Heal the heart and soul that have been wounded, bind up every wound, and be a shield and protector from further hurt, teaching how to love with both grace and godly boundaries. Draw this heart ever closer to You through this trial, and let this pain become a testimony of Your healing power. We thank You that You hear us because we ask in the name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to continue to abide in prayer and in the Word, to release this hurt to God daily, even when feelings return, and to trust that God is working even when you cannot see progress. Keep seeking Him first, and He will keep your heart pure and at peace as you walk in obedience to Him.
We hear how much weight this relationship with your brother has put on your heart, and how much you want to be free of the hurt so you can walk more closely with God. Wanting to forgive completely is a good and honest desire, and it makes sense that it feels like a barrier when the pain keeps returning.
One thing that has helped others is understanding that forgiveness often comes in two parts. There is the decision to let go of getting even and to wish good rather than harm, even while the feelings are still raw. Then over time, as you keep turning the hurt over to God, the bitter feelings can slowly be softened and replaced with more peace and even compassion. That second part rarely happens all at once, especially with someone who continues to be difficult, and it does not automatically mean the relationship will look the way you hope. Forgiveness and rebuilding trust are not the same, and God can work in your heart even while wisdom is still needed about boundaries.
It may help to quietly reaffirm your decision when the thoughts come back, simply telling God you are choosing again to release this to Him, and then asking Him for the next wise step with your brother rather than trying to solve everything at once.
Father, we lift our brother to You, asking You to heal his heart and soul, quiet the negative thoughts, grant him wisdom for each interaction with his brother, and guard him from further hurt. Lead this relationship according to Your will and draw him closer to You as he keeps seeking You. In Jesus' name, amen.
One thing that has helped others is understanding that forgiveness often comes in two parts. There is the decision to let go of getting even and to wish good rather than harm, even while the feelings are still raw. Then over time, as you keep turning the hurt over to God, the bitter feelings can slowly be softened and replaced with more peace and even compassion. That second part rarely happens all at once, especially with someone who continues to be difficult, and it does not automatically mean the relationship will look the way you hope. Forgiveness and rebuilding trust are not the same, and God can work in your heart even while wisdom is still needed about boundaries.
It may help to quietly reaffirm your decision when the thoughts come back, simply telling God you are choosing again to release this to Him, and then asking Him for the next wise step with your brother rather than trying to solve everything at once.
Father, we lift our brother to You, asking You to heal his heart and soul, quiet the negative thoughts, grant him wisdom for each interaction with his brother, and guard him from further hurt. Lead this relationship according to Your will and draw him closer to You as he keeps seeking You. In Jesus' name, amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your cry has been heard, and the hurt you carry is not hidden from the Lord who sees the heart. You have spoken truly when you say that an unforgiven wound stands as a barrier to drawing closer to God, for a bitter spirit clouds communion with Him. Yet take comfort, for the Word declares with certainty, there is forgiveness with Him.
There is forgiveness with God, and that is where you must first look. Before you can forgive your brother freely, you must know yourself forgiven. As it has been said, believe in the forgiveness of sins for yourself. The blood of Jesus whispers peace within, and it yields a calm so deep that it is called the peace of God which passes all understanding. You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. This perfect peace is not found in the absence of trial, nor in the changing of your brother, but in staying your mind upon Christ and trusting His finished work. When you know that your own great debt has been released because it is called the Lord's release, your heart is made able to release another.
And having received such forgiveness, you are then called to extend it. We have in Him a full forgiveness, an eternal forgiveness, and after such forgiveness we should be wicked servants indeed if we were to take our brother by the throat and say, pay me what thou owest. The most splendid vengeance you can ever have is to do good to them that do you evil, and to speak well of them that speak ill of you. This does not mean the hurt was small, but that the grace you have received is greater. Forgiveness in the Christian sense is not a feeling that first must be forced, but an act of release before the Lord, saying, I lay down my right to exact payment, as God for Christ's sake has laid down His claim against me.
There is also healing for the wound that remains. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations, and the least thing about Christ is healing. His fruit is sweet and nourishing, but even His leaves, His gentle touches and whispers of mercy, have power to change the life blood and make the nature other than it was before. He can heal your heart and soul where memory still stings, and cleanse it from negative thoughts, so that your heart may be pure and at peace.
Let us pray together.
O Lord, our God, with whom there is forgiveness that You may be feared, look upon this wounded heart. Grant to Your child a fresh assurance of pardon through the blood of Jesus Christ, that believing it, he may go his way in peace. Grant wisdom from above, which is pure and peaceable, to know how to walk in this most challenging relationship with his brother. Intervene, we beseech You, according to Your perfect will, and where it is possible, restore what is broken. Heal the heart and soul that have been bruised, take away the sting of hurt and the burden of bitter thoughts, and keep this heart stayed upon You in perfect peace. Guard and protect from further hurt, and let all be done to Your glory, through Jesus Christ our Lord, in whose name we ask it. Amen.
There is forgiveness with God, and that is where you must first look. Before you can forgive your brother freely, you must know yourself forgiven. As it has been said, believe in the forgiveness of sins for yourself. The blood of Jesus whispers peace within, and it yields a calm so deep that it is called the peace of God which passes all understanding. You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. This perfect peace is not found in the absence of trial, nor in the changing of your brother, but in staying your mind upon Christ and trusting His finished work. When you know that your own great debt has been released because it is called the Lord's release, your heart is made able to release another.
And having received such forgiveness, you are then called to extend it. We have in Him a full forgiveness, an eternal forgiveness, and after such forgiveness we should be wicked servants indeed if we were to take our brother by the throat and say, pay me what thou owest. The most splendid vengeance you can ever have is to do good to them that do you evil, and to speak well of them that speak ill of you. This does not mean the hurt was small, but that the grace you have received is greater. Forgiveness in the Christian sense is not a feeling that first must be forced, but an act of release before the Lord, saying, I lay down my right to exact payment, as God for Christ's sake has laid down His claim against me.
There is also healing for the wound that remains. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations, and the least thing about Christ is healing. His fruit is sweet and nourishing, but even His leaves, His gentle touches and whispers of mercy, have power to change the life blood and make the nature other than it was before. He can heal your heart and soul where memory still stings, and cleanse it from negative thoughts, so that your heart may be pure and at peace.
Let us pray together.
O Lord, our God, with whom there is forgiveness that You may be feared, look upon this wounded heart. Grant to Your child a fresh assurance of pardon through the blood of Jesus Christ, that believing it, he may go his way in peace. Grant wisdom from above, which is pure and peaceable, to know how to walk in this most challenging relationship with his brother. Intervene, we beseech You, according to Your perfect will, and where it is possible, restore what is broken. Heal the heart and soul that have been bruised, take away the sting of hurt and the burden of bitter thoughts, and keep this heart stayed upon You in perfect peace. Guard and protect from further hurt, and let all be done to Your glory, through Jesus Christ our Lord, in whose name we ask it. Amen.
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