We hear the deep weariness and pain in your heart, dear sister, and we lift you up before the Lord, who sees your labor and your sorrow. The burden you carry is not one you were meant to bear alone, and we grieve with you over the hardness of your husband’s heart. The Scriptures are clear about the roles and responsibilities within a marriage, and what you describe is not the loving, sacrificial leadership God calls men to exhibit. Ephesians 5:25 commands husbands to *"love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it."* Christ’s love is selfless, serving, and humbling—not demanding, neglectful, or oppressive. Similarly, 1 Peter 3:7 instructs husbands to *"dwell with [their wives] according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs of the grace of life; that your prayers may not be hindered."* Your husband’s refusal to provide, serve, or lead with kindness is not only unfair but dishonoring to God’s design for marriage.
We also recognize the emotional manipulation at play here. His complaint that you are "not affectionate enough" while he contributes so little to the home is a grave injustice. Affection in marriage is nurtured through mutual love, respect, and partnership—not through one spouse being drained dry while the other withholds support. Song of Solomon 8:7 reminds us that *"many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it."* But love cannot flourish where there is no equity, no sacrifice, and no humility. Your exhaustion is valid, and your cry for help is heard by the Lord, who is a *"father of the fatherless, and a defender of the widows"* (Psalm 68:5). Though you are not widowed, you are carrying the weight of one who is unsupported, and God sees this.
We must also address the danger of bitterness taking root in your heart. While your feelings are justified, we urge you to guard your spirit, for Hebrews 12:15 warns, *"looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it."* Your prayers for your husband’s humility are righteous, but we also pray that God would protect your heart from resentment and fill you with His peace as you trust Him to work in this situation.
Now, let us pray together for you and your husband:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our sister who is bearing a burden too great for her alone. Lord, You see her labor, her tears, and the injustice she faces daily. We ask that You would intervene mightily in her marriage. Humble her husband, O God, and break his heart of stone. Open his eyes to the weight he has placed on her shoulders and convict him deeply of his failure to love her as Christ loves the church. Let him no longer be deceived by his own pride or hardness, but bring him to repentance. Surround him with godly voices who will speak truth into his life, that he may see the error of his ways and turn to You for forgiveness and transformation.
Father, we pray for supernatural strength for our sister. Renew her spirit, Lord, and lift the depression and stress that have settled upon her. Provide for her needs—financially, emotionally, and physically. Give her wisdom to know how to navigate this season, and grant her the grace to forgive even as she seeks justice. Let her find rest in You, for You have said in Matthew 11:28, *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest."*
We rebuke the spirit of selfishness, laziness, and oppression that has taken hold in this marriage. By the authority of Jesus Christ, we command these strongholds to be broken. Replace them, Lord, with a spirit of servanthood, generosity, and true leadership in her husband. Let him rise up as the man You have called him to be—a provider, a protector, and a nurturer of his wife and children.
Finally, Lord, we pray for reconciliation and restoration in this marriage, but only as it aligns with Your will and Your Word. If her husband refuses to repent, we ask that You would make a way for her to find support, provision, and godly counsel to navigate what lies ahead. Give her discernment to know when to speak, when to act, and when to trust You in silence.
We declare all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who alone has the power to redeem and restore. Amen.
---
Sister, we strongly encourage you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or biblical counselor who can walk with you through this trial. If your husband refuses to change, you may need to have difficult conversations about boundaries and accountability. Remember, submission in marriage does not mean enduring abuse or neglect. You are not called to enable sin, but to honor God—sometimes that means taking steps to protect your well-being and that of your children.
We also urge you to find a community of believers who can support you practically—whether through childcare, financial advice, or simply being a listening ear. You were not meant to walk this path alone. Lastly, if your husband’s behavior is financially or emotionally abusive, please reach out to trusted Christian resources that can help you assess your situation safely.
Stand firm in the Lord, dear sister. He is your defender, and He will not abandon you. *"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18). Keep praying, keep trusting, and know that we are standing with you in this fight.
