Husband drunk and out of control

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

We have heard your cry and we are praying for you now in this frightening moment. God sees your fear and He cares deeply about your safety. It is not His will for you to live in terror in your own home, and drunkenness that leads to losing control is a serious sin that harms everyone it touches.

Please put safety first right now. If you feel scared or threatened, do not stay alone with him while he is drunk and out of control. Go to a safe place if you can, whether that is another room with a locked door, a trusted neighbor, family member, or friend nearby. Reach out right away to a pastor, a mature Christian woman you trust, or family who can come and be with you. If you are in immediate danger or he becomes violent or threatening, please call for help from local authorities without hesitation. You do not need to face this alone.

We are praying for you for protection, for peace, and for wisdom to know the next right step. We are also praying for your husband, that God would bring him to clear conviction, to turn away from drunkenness, and to seek the help he needs to become sober and self controlled. The Lord calls husbands to love and protect their wives, not to frighten them, and He calls all of us to sobriety and gentleness.

Let us pray together. Father in heaven, we lift up this dear sister to You and ask You to cover her with Your protection. Calm her fear and keep her safe tonight. Put trusted people around her and give her wisdom and courage to do what is needed for safety. We pray for her husband, that You would break the power of alcohol in his life, bring him to repentance through Jesus Christ, and lead him to turn from this destructive path. Bring healing and true peace into this home, and let Your presence be her refuge. In the name of Jesus our Lord we pray, Amen.

Please do not carry this burden by yourself. Talk with your pastor as soon as possible, and keep trusted people aware of what is happening so they can support you and help you make a safety plan. If this pattern continues, ongoing counsel and accountability for him and support for you are needed. We will continue to pray for you both, for your safety and for his repentance and restoration.

 

[Silas]

I have read your prayer request and I am praying for you now in this frightening moment. God sees you, He knows the fear you are feeling, and He cares about your safety and about your husband.

The Bible teaches that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and that to fear the Lord is to hate evil. Drunkenness and behavior that frightens and harms those in the home is evil, and God does not take it lightly. He calls it what it is and calls those caught in it to turn away from it. At the same time Scripture says that remembering the Lord is the cure for fear. When we forget Him, fear grows. When we remember that He is with us, faith can rise up and fear can lose its hold. Fear and faith cannot rule the heart at the same time, so we ask God to fill you with faith and with a clear mind to do what is wise and prudent, not as a reaction driven only by panic, but as steps taken in trust that He is your confidence and will keep you.

Many look to alcohol to find peace or relaxation or escape, but it is the wrong place to look. It cannot give real peace and it often brings destruction. The peace and contentment and fulfillment that people are looking for is found in being filled with the Spirit of God. Your husband needs that true work of God in his heart. I am praying that God will convict him, bring him to repentance, and deliver him from drunkenness.

God designed marriage as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, bound as long as both shall live. Within that covenant He gave a simple pattern. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, giving himself for her, and the wife is to respect and be subject to her own husband as the church is subject to Christ. One loving, one respecting, each under the Lord. God gave this because He knows our hearts. A wife finds it very hard to trust and follow leadership when she is not assured of love, and a husband will not flourish as a loving head when he is not respected. When these callings are broken, the marriage begins to come apart and hurt compounds.

That pattern does not mean a wife must submit to sin or to being harmed. If a husband requires something that would wound your conscience before God or put you in danger, you are not called to submit to that. A husband who truly loves as Christ loves would never require it. Submission is always as unto the Lord and as He is under Christ, never as one lording over another.

Scripture also teaches that a believing wife with an unbelieving husband, if he is willing to live peaceably with her, should not leave him, for her faithful and pure life lived with reverence can be a powerful witness to him, and God can use it. Yet the same Scripture says plainly, let not the wife depart from her husband, but if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. This shows that while marriage is not to be broken lightly, there are times when a wife may need to step away for a time, and if she does she remains bound to the covenant, either remaining alone or being reconciled. Your first responsibility before God right now is to be safe.

Please do what is wise and prudent today. If you are in danger, get to a safe place. Do not stay alone with someone who is out of control and scary. Reach out immediately to a trusted family member or mature Christian woman or pastor who knows you, and if you are threatened or harmed, call for help from those who can protect you, including the proper authorities. Do not try to handle this in isolation. Let others who fear the Lord stand with you, pray with you, and help you make a plan for safety for you and for any children in the home.

I am praying for you that God will calm your heart, guard you from sudden fear, and give you wisdom for each next step. I am praying for your husband, that God will bring him to sobriety, to a hatred of the evil that alcohol is doing in him, and to salvation through Jesus Christ alone if he does not know Him, and to a transformed life if he does.

Father, I lift this dear one to You who is afraid. You see her and You know the turmoil in her home. Cover her with Your presence and be her confidence. Keep her foot from being taken and keep her safe from harm. Give her wisdom that is not driven by fear alone but by faith in You, and surround her with help that is godly and reliable. Have mercy on her husband. Convict him of his drunkenness, break its power over him, and teach him to seek peace where it is truly found, in Your Spirit. Lead him to hate evil and to fear You, and to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Heal this home, bring repentance where it is needed, and let holiness and righteousness be restored. In the name of Jesus, our only Savior, amen.

If you can, let a trusted person near you know where you are and what is happening right now, and stay where you are safe. Continue to seek the Lord and to walk with those who will counsel you from the Bible and help you follow Him faithfully.