Hub

[Anonymous]

My husband made a loan now everytime he revieve his salary he needs to go borrow more money i didn't know about this until yesterday he did aplogiae and said he did want me to stress about finance but this made me feel more bad the fact tha im not working and searching for job with no luck the financially pressure had been to much for my husband what hurt he didn't share it with me now we more and more in debts

 

[Articles]

We have heard your heart and we carry your burden before the Lord with you. We understand how painful it is to discover that your husband has been carrying a heavy financial secret, taking a loan and then needing to borrow more each time his salary comes, and how much deeper the hurt is because he did not share it with you. We also hear your own sorrow in not yet finding work and feeling that you have added to his pressure. We want you to know that your value in your marriage is not measured by income, and his desire to protect you, even if misguided, shows his care, yet God calls husband and wife to bear burdens together as one flesh.

In marriage God has joined you as one, and His design is for complete unity and truthfulness between a husband and wife. Therefore putting away falsehood, speak truth each one with his neighbor. For we are members of one another. Ephesians 4:25 What God has joined together, let no man separate. Mark 10:9 A husband and wife are to have no hidden areas, especially with finances, for two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. Ecclesiastes 4:9 Your husband's choice to hide the debt to spare you stress was not God's way, and we gently urge you both to forgive one another and to commit from this day forward to walk in full honesty and counsel together. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 Let all bitterness and anger be put away and let truth and grace rule in your home.

We also see the heavy weight of debt upon you both. The plans of the diligent surely lead to profit; and everyone who is hasty surely rushes to poverty. Proverbs 21:5 Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8 The cycle of borrowing to cover borrowing only deepens the pit and brings much anxiety, but God calls us to wise stewardship, contentment, and diligent planning. We encourage you and your husband to sit together in prayer, lay every bill and loan before the Lord and before each other, make a simple and honest budget, seek godly counsel from a pastor or a trusted mature believer in your church, and determine together to borrow no more while you work faithfully to repay what is owed. If possible, seek help to consolidate or to make a repayment plan and be willing to live more simply for a season.

For your own heart as you search for work, we encourage you not to be crushed by guilt or despair. In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33 My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 The Lord sees your diligence in seeking work and He will open the right door in His timing. Keep praying together as husband and wife, keep applying diligently, and trust that He honors your faithfulness.

We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and find true peace and salvation. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12 If you have not already, we urge you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, and to call upon His name for forgiveness, help, and eternal life. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9

We pray together for you now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. We lift up this dear wife and her husband to You. Lord, You see the debt that has grown and the fear and hurt in their hearts. Forgive where truth was withheld and heal the wound it has caused. Help them to forgive one another fully and to walk from this day in complete honesty, unity, and love as one flesh. Grant them Your wisdom for every financial decision, help them to make a faithful plan to repay what they owe, and give them strength to borrow no more. Provide for every need according to Your riches in glory, open a good and suitable job for this wife in Your timing, and give her peace while she waits. Replace anxiety with Your peace that surpasses all understanding, and teach them both to seek first Your Kingdom and to cast all their cares upon You. Draw them closer to Jesus and to each other, and let their marriage honor You and be a testimony of Your grace. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus, our only hope and Savior. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We were so sorry to read what you are carrying. Learning about the loans all at once, after your husband tried to keep the worry from you, would leave anyone feeling hurt and shaken. And to be searching for work without success while you both feel the financial pressure makes it even heavier.

It makes sense you feel both grateful that he wanted to protect you and wounded that he carried this alone. When money feels tight, many husbands feel they must handle it by themselves, but that quiet burden often makes the debt grow and leaves a distance in the marriage. You are not alone in facing this.

When you both have a calm moment, it can help to sit down together not to blame but to look honestly at the full picture. Writing down what is owed, what comes in each month, and what must go out can bring some relief because you are facing it as a team and you can both see where the borrow to cover borrowing needs to stop.

Many families in this kind of cycle have found real help by meeting with a reputable nonprofit credit counselor who can help create a workable repayment plan and add accountability for future spending. If you have a pastor or a trusted mature couple you both respect, inviting them to walk with you as you take those steps can also give you support and wisdom while you continue your job search.

Father, we lift this wife and her husband to You. You see their debts, their worry, and their care for each other. Give them gentleness as they talk, wisdom for each decision, and steady hope as they seek work and a way forward. Provide for their needs and help them grow in honest and kind communication. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your sorrow is heard and your burden is a heavy one, to learn so suddenly that debts have been growing in secret, to feel the sting that your husband bore this pressure alone, and to carry also the weariness of seeking work without yet finding it. It is a painful place to stand, between love for your husband who sought to spare you anxiety, and the hurt that his silence has now made the load heavier for you both.

The word of God teaches us to trust in the living God not only for the soul but for temporal things also. He is not a distant God who leaves this world to go on by itself, but a thinking, active, working and personal God with a great warm loving heart who comes into the midst of our lives. To trust Him is not to be idle, for that would be to trust not God but idleness, nor to be rash and trust to chance, for He is a God of economy and order. We are to trust Him acting in all prudence and in all uprightness, relying simply and entirely upon Him. What time we are afraid, we are to trust in Him, and that trust when it is true will say, I will trust and not be afraid.

Your husband has confessed his course to you and asked forgiveness, and this is right and good. In marriage you are one, to bear one another's burdens and to walk in the light together. Let this disclosure, though painful, become the beginning of a more open fellowship, where nothing is hidden for fear of causing stress, but all is shared in love, in prayer, and in honest counsel. Forgive him as you have been forgiven in Christ, and let him forgive himself as he learns to trust not in his own contrivance to manage alone, for we have had the sentence of death in ourselves that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.

Seek together the path of wisdom in these debts. Bring every figure into the light, set down honestly what is owed and what is received, and seek godly and prudent counsel from those who can help you order your household well. Do not use sinful means to grow rich or to escape, and do not borrow to repay borrowing without counsel, for that only deepens the snare. While you continue diligently to seek honest work, and your husband labors faithfully in his calling, ask the Lord to show you how to live within what He provides, to be faithful in little, and to wait upon His provision day by day. The Lord who commanded light to shine out of darkness can shine into this dark place and give wisdom where there seems to be no way.

Above all, rest the whole weight of your soul's affairs upon Jesus Christ. Do not trust your feelings, which rise and fall, but trust His appointed Savior who is able to save all who trust Him. If you can trust Him with your soul, you can trust Him with your daily bread, your home, and your future. He knows your losses and crosses in business and in the home, and this truth ought to keep you from grieving without hope.

Let us pray together. O merciful Father, look upon this wife and her husband in their straits. Forgive what is past, heal the hurt of hidden things, and knit their hearts together in truth and love. Give them a spirit of unity, of honest speech, and of mutual help. Provide for their needs according to Your riches, open a door for honest work, and grant them wisdom to order their finances with prudence and integrity. Teach them to trust in You at all times, to cast every care upon You, and to find that when they trust You they shall not be put to shame. Lead them to trust Your Son at once and to know His peace, and keep them through every scene of life. In the name of Jesus Christ our only Savior we ask it, Amen.