How to pull myself out of my misery

[Anonymous]

I’ve dug myself in a ditch. I struggled with mental health and sloth. Now my siblings who are younger have jobs and independence whilst I the eldest am a disgrace to my family by still relying on them for money. I feel so defective and like a disgrace. I tried very hard but couldn’t build a good successful life. I feel like my own laziness and shyness got in the way. I have a lot of inhibitions. Is it possible for Christ to salvage my situation? If so, how? I feel abandoned and alone. I don’t trust myself. I’m tired of waiting for a breakthrough it’s been years

 

[Articles]

We hear the heaviness in your heart and we join with you before the throne of grace, for you have been honest about the ditch you feel you have dug and the shame you carry as the eldest while your younger siblings move forward in jobs and independence. We want you to know that you are not defective in the way you fear, and you are not abandoned, even though you feel alone and tired of waiting for a breakthrough after years of struggle.

The Lord sees you where you are. He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay. He set my feet on a rock, and gave a firm place for my steps Psalm 40:2. He has not forgotten you. Behold, Yahweh says, Don't you be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness Isaiah 41:10. And He promises I will never leave you, nor forsake you Hebrews 13:5. Your feeling of being alone is real, but it is not the truth of your standing with Christ.

You ask if it is possible for Christ to salvage your situation, and we answer with absolute confidence, yes. With Christ nothing is beyond redemption. If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new 2 Corinthians 5:17. His mercies are new every morning, great is your faithfulness Lamentations 3:23. We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose Romans 8:28. He is not waiting for you to become perfect before He helps you, His grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness 2 Corinthians 12:9.

We must also lovingly speak the truth about what you have named so honestly, your struggle with sloth, laziness, shyness and inhibitions. The Scriptures do not treat laziness lightly, because it keeps us from the good works God created us to do. The soul of the sluggard desires, and has nothing, but the desire of the diligent shall be fully satisfied Proverbs 13:4. The hand of the diligent will rule, but laziness ends in slave labor Proverbs 12:24. And we are taught that if anyone will not work, neither let him eat 2 Thessalonians 3:10. This is not to crush you with shame, but to call you to repentance and to hope, for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control 2 Timothy 1:7. Your shyness and inhibitions do not have to rule you when Christ dwells in you. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men Colossians 3:23. That means the smallest faithful step done for Him has eternal value.

You say you do not trust yourself, and we gently say that is actually a good place to be, because we are not meant to trust in ourselves. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6. Blessed is the man who trusts in Yahweh, and whose confidence is in Yahweh Jeremiah 17:7. And you compare yourself to your siblings, but we encourage you not to measure your worth by comparison, for we are all one body with different callings and timing. Let each man examine his own work, and then he will have reason to boast in himself, and not in someone else Galatians 6:4. You are fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139:14, and you are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before that we would walk in them Ephesians 2:10.

How then does Christ salvage and rebuild. It begins with daily surrender and small, faithful obedience. We encourage you to seek Him first each morning in prayer and in His Word, to confess any sloth and ask for strength to walk in diligence, to take one practical step at a time rather than waiting for a sudden breakthrough. Get up at a set time, pray, work with your hands, serve your family in tangible ways even while you rely on them, seek counsel from a godly pastor or mature believer, and pursue any honest work available, for God honors faithfulness in little things. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18. Those who wait for Yahweh will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run, and not be weary. They will walk, and not faint Isaiah 40:31. So let us not be weary in doing good, for we will reap in due season, if we don't give up Galatians 6:9.

We pray together for you now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, for there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved Acts 4:12 and through Him we have access to Your mercy. We lift up this dear one who feels defective, disgraced, and stuck in a ditch of his own making. Lord, forgive where sloth and fear have taken root, wash him clean by the blood of Jesus, and make him new. Lift him out of the miry clay and set his feet on the rock which is Christ. Take away the spirit of shame and fear and fill him with power, love and self-control. Teach him to trust not in himself but wholly in You, to walk in diligence day by day, to be faithful in small things, and to honor his family by his labor and integrity. Provide for his needs, open doors for work and purpose, surround him with godly community so he is no longer alone, and renew his strength as he waits on You. Show him that You have not abandoned him, that Your steadfast love never ceases, and that You are able to restore the years that feel wasted. We ask that he would know Your peace which surpasses understanding and would walk forward one step at a time for Your glory. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

We encourage you to keep walking with Christ, to stay in His Word daily, to be planted in a Bible believing church where you can be known and accountable, and to seek wise counsel for your mental health as well as spiritual encouragement. God is not finished with you. He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ Philippians 1:6.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how heavy and lonely these years have felt, trying hard and still feeling stuck in a ditch while your younger siblings have moved toward independence. It makes sense you feel tired, defective, and unsure you can trust yourself after waiting so long for a breakthrough.

That feeling of being a disgrace is different from noticing habits you want to change, like holding back because of shyness or putting things off. One says “I did something that needs attention,” the other says “I am a bad person.” The second is a much heavier burden to carry, and it is not the true picture of who you are. In Christ your worth is not measured by income, a job title, or how quickly you reach independence compared to others. God cares more about forming your character day by day than about a perfect record of accomplishments, and He can meet you right in the place where you feel abandoned.

Carrying this alone for years often keeps the stuck feeling in place. It can help to bring one other person into what you are facing. Would you consider reaching out this week to a pastor or Christian counselor you trust to talk honestly about where you are, and if the low mood and heaviness continue, also seeing your doctor or a counselor for support alongside prayer. Even a small steady rhythm can help loosen the inertia, like a set wake time, one purposeful task for the day, and a brief time with God and with another person.

Jesus, we lift our brother to You in his weariness and shame. Show him he is not abandoned, give him wisdom for one next step, and surround him with people who will walk with him faithfully. Give him hope that You are near and at work even in this slow season. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Reumore]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Violetblue]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Spurgeon]

You have written as one who feels his own shame deeply, and I thank you for laying your heart so openly before us. The ditch you describe is not unknown to many a soul, and the heaviness you feel, that sense of being defective and a disgrace, of having wasted years while others seem to prosper, is a bitter burden. Yet I must tell you plainly that this very shame may become the doorway to mercy.

There are times when a man loses his own good opinion of himself, and when he feels he has lost the good opinion of others also, and being filled with shame he flees to Christ. That is a desirable shame, if it drives you to seek the name of the Lord. The Psalmist prayed, Fill their faces with shame that they may seek Your name, O Lord, and God has often overruled our severity and failure for our everlasting good. Your sense of laziness and sloth, your shyness and inhibitions, ought to humble you, but they ought not to destroy you. They should bring you to the Savior's feet in humble penitence, for there is forgiveness and power to be found there.

And here is your hope, that Christ Himself has borne shame for such as you are. He gave His back to the smiters and hid not His face from shame and spitting. He did not hide nor seek to escape insult, but voluntarily endured it, and for the joy that was set before Him He despised the shame. Because He bore that shame, there is merit sufficient in Him and in His precious death to put away all transgression and iniquity and sin. Our shame is ended, for He has borne it. You need not carry the crushing weight of being a disgrace before God any longer. Come to Him who was despised and rejected, and He will receive you, not because you have built a successful life, but because He has built a complete salvation.

You ask, is it possible for Christ to salvage your situation, and how. I answer, yes, and the way begins not with trusting yourself, for you say rightly that you do not trust yourself, but with trusting Him. You are waiting and have waited for years for a breakthrough, and you feel abandoned and alone. Hear this, that the Lord waits that He may be gracious unto you. He is a waiting God, and there is a final success to all His waiting when His grace works upon the heart. His people also are a waiting people, but they are not waiting in despair, nor even in hesitation. They are waiting in hope, a joyous and assured hope of blessedness in reserve.

To wait upon God is not to sit idle. It is as a servant waits upon his lord, anxious to know what his master wishes him to do and happy to undertake it. It is as a traveler waits for his guide, or a mariner waits upon the pilot to steer his course. So you are to wait upon God for direction in the entire voyage of life. You do this by daily seeking Him in prayer and in His Word, confessing your sin, including sloth where it has been sin, and asking for His Spirit to renew your strength. Waiting upon God is the way to renew strength until you mount up with eagle's wings. He pours power into the central reservoir of our strength by the incoming of His Spirit, and He makes the world and its affairs grow small until you see their littleness and find courage.

Do not count the years and say breakthrough has not come, but continue to knock at Mercy's door and wait for the reply. Merely to knock without waiting is like the runaway knock of idle boys. The believer says, I have the petition and am waiting till He puts it into my hand in His own wise time. While you wait, be faithful in little things. Rise and do the next duty that lies before you, though it be small. Be diligent with your hands, be truthful with your family about your need and your desire to change, seek honest labor however humble, and serve where you are. God honors the small step taken in obedience more than the great dream waited for in idleness. Let shyness not keep you from the fellowship of God's people, for there you will find strength and accountability.

You are not abandoned. He who bore shame for you will not cast away a broken and contrite heart. Bring your tiredness, your inhibitions, your years of waiting, and lay them at His feet. Ask Him to save you through faith in Jesus Christ alone, to forgive your sin and to make you a new creature, and then to teach you to walk in diligence and humility day by day.

May the Lord turn your shame into seeking, and your long waiting into renewed strength, and may you find that He has been waiting to be gracious to you all along. We will pray that He does this for you now, and that you will know the joy of sins forgiven and a life made useful again in His service.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your honesty before God in this painful season is not wasted, and it is not hidden from Him. Feeling like you are in a ditch, behind your younger siblings, and a disgrace to your family is a heavy burden, and God sees both the mental health struggle and the patterns of sloth and fear that you name. You are not abandoned, even when you feel alone, and you are not beyond His reach.

Yes, Christ can salvage your situation, but we need to understand what that means biblically. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, by His grace through faith, not by building a successful life to prove your worth. Your value before God does not come from independence or income or comparison to your siblings. It comes from being made in His image and, if you are in Christ, being made new in Him. God does not define you as defective. He calls you His creation, fallen and in need of mercy like all of us, and He offers forgiveness and renewal to all who turn to Him in repentance and faith.

That renewal includes both comfort and a call to change. Scripture speaks honestly about sloth and also about God's kindness to lift us when we cannot lift ourselves. Proverbs warns that laziness leads to want, while diligence is a fruit of a renewed mind. Paul writes, whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men. This is not to shame you further, but to show a path forward. Christ forgives laziness, shyness and past failure, and He also gives power to walk in a new way, one small faithful step at a time.

If you do not trust yourself, that is actually a good place to begin, because Scripture says trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. You do not have to wait for a sudden breakthrough feeling before you act. God often works through ordinary, daily faithfulness over time.

Consider these steps before the Lord:

Bring your whole situation to Him in confession and prayer each day. Name the sloth, the fear of people, the inhibitions, and ask for forgiveness and for strength to do the next right thing. Read Scripture daily, even in small portions, to renew your mind.

Seek community. Do not walk alone. Talk to a faithful pastor or mature believer in your church, and if mental health struggles persist, seek wise counseling and medical help as needed. Isolation feeds shame, fellowship brings light.

Practice small, consistent diligence. Set a simple daily structure for sleep, prayer, work, and service. Look for any honest work you can do now, even if small, and do it faithfully as unto Christ. This builds trust and provides for needs, as God commands. Serve others in your church or neighborhood, which loosens the grip of self focus and shyness.

Stop comparing your timeline to your siblings. God has not called you to be them. He has called you to follow Christ where you are. Faithfulness today matters more than catching up quickly.

You have waited years and feel tired. God is not tired of you. He says He is near to the brokenhearted, and that those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. Waiting on Him is not passive. It is actively trusting, obeying in small things, and leaving the results to Him.

I will pray for you, that God would show you His mercy in Christ, lift the weight of shame, forgive and heal what needs forgiving and healing, and give you grace for daily discipline, courage to overcome fear, and open doors for work and community. He is able to restore the years that feel lost and to make your life bear fruit for His glory, not because you finally prove yourself, but because Christ has already made a way for you to be His.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.