Okay...and I speak from some of my own experiences on this, so...we're not supposed to hold grudges.{"Be angry, but don't let the sun go down on your anger".]BUT I'm not talking about those exact circumstances.I'm talking about dealing with someone who causes you "problems.", and in order to preserve your own peace in life, you have to make a decision" to put some distance between yourself and them.Even job related. Like, there were a few I had to block their numbers to "save myself" from the problems they created.Most recent,someone who was here illegaly, and didn't have a credit card, and so couldn't call uber,so when she needed me,I may have had other commitments, and because of her "helplessness",would present a problem that the others wouldn't present. Then, she would get job assignments where she would get off on a Sunday, which is my only day off, and I had to take her. On top of all that, she started to borrow money from me, and she would not pay back, and even kept borrowing. So my point, when she wouldn't listen to reason,I had to wind up blocking her number. And when she tried to weasel back{also, doesn't take no for an answer}I was like,I wish her no harm,just, you go your way and I'll go mine.But my point, that's a little different than holding a grudge, where you don't bother with someone because of ill will. I could give other examples, like, a mother finding out a neighbor is a child molester, and not letting him near her young daughter. Isn't that different than holding a grudge?If we do something as a decision to better our situation, and stick to it, I don't see how that's not allowed, and think it's different than avoiding someone because you're "mad at them" through a personal dislike.Think so?
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Holding grudges vs.being practical
- Thread starter Steven Bobb
- Start date
Brother James
Beloved of All
Most of the situations that happen to us only happen because God/Jesus is trying to teach us something. If we hold grudges not only does God/Jesus not forgive us but He will send more and more people to us that we will have to forgive. If we can't forgive God/Jesus can't forgive.
I never hold grudges against anyone because it not good for your health, besides, Jesus said. Forgive them seventy times seven. So, I try to practice what Jesus said and I just smile and be happy when someone says nasty things about me or about Jesus. The most practical thing for us to do is this. Fast and pray before the Lord for those lost souls who come around and try to make your life miserable and i think, satan is using them to make us all sin against the Lord.
kbehrent
Beloved Servant
Psalm 34:19-21 King James Version (KJV) 19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.
God can and will deliver us out of our afflictions. That does not mean He causes the afflictions does it? The Israelites seemed to get themselves into messes in the O.T. through idol worship and not following the Lord, not because God caused the messes. God helped them through their messes but did not cause them. God's patience finally wore thin and His wrath poured out on the Israelites to bring them back to Him, but only after many years of sending prophets and telling the people from turn from their wicked ways. The wicked ways were not caused by God. David got into a mess with Bathsheba, but God did not cause the mess with Bathsheba to "teach" David something. The resulting mess was a result of the sin of David, consequences. David did "learn" something, which we can all do when we get ourselves into our own messes. God will bring us through them, and we will "learn something" and maybe even trust Him more.
2 Timothy 3:16 we read, “All scripture is given by inspiration of Godand is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness; that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.”.
kbehrent
Beloved Servant
"Enabling" a person to continue on with their obnoxious or evil ways needs to come to a halt. Holding a grudge when doing something to stop enabling it is not worth the effort, and we can harm ourselves when doing it. Do what you need to do to withdraw from the situation, forgive the person, turn the wrongs over to the Lord for Him to deal with, bless the person and pray for them, and continue on with your life.
Steven Bobb
Beloved of All
That sounds like about the right balance.
Steven Bobb
Beloved of All
I specified the difference between holding a grudge and avoiding the person for practical reasons, like they're troublesome.Like if someone is trying to hire somone, finds they have a history of stealing, obviously you don't hire them to watch over the petty cash box. Just using judgement.You don't hire a child molester to babysit for your kids. Common sense, different than holding a grudge for personal reasons.
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Brother James
Beloved of All
Jesus had a thief take care of the money Steven
Steven Bobb
Beloved of All
Well in general practice I don't think there's anything wrong with using judgement,or for your own well being making a decision to distance yourself from someone causing you problems.You'r e exceptionally optimistic, so you condone everything.
Brother James
Beloved of All
I didn't condone anything Steven. I don't think there is anything wrong with distancing yourself from someone as long as your not holding a grudge.
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