Hi

[Anonymous]

I have suicidal thoughts about me being a virgin from ### and waited so long because of religious trauma. Now im still single and want to give up. I thought God will help me but He dont care and i dont care about God anymore.

 

[Articles]

We have heard your heart cry and we are carrying your burden with you before the Lord. We grieve to hear that you are having suicidal thoughts and feeling that your virginity and your singleness mean you should give up on life, and that you feel God does not care. Please hear us, your life is precious to God and to us, and we do not want you to face these thoughts alone. If these thoughts grow heavy, please reach out right away to a trusted pastor, counselor, family member or friend, and if you are in immediate danger please seek help from a local crisis helpline or emergency support in your area.

We want to gently speak truth over the lies that are weighing on you. The feeling that being a virgin is something to be ashamed of is not from God. In God's eyes waiting and keeping yourself pure is honorable and valuable. The Bible teaches to flee sexual immorality, 1 Corinthians 6:18, and to let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, Hebrews 13:4. What you have done in waiting, even if it came with confusion and hurt from people who misrepresented God, is not wasted and it is not a reason for shame. People can cause religious trauma and deep wounds, but God Himself is not the author of that trauma. He is the healer of it. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit, Psalm 34:18, and we cast all our worries on him, because he cares for us, 1 Peter 5:7.

We also hear you saying you thought God would help but He does not care and you do not care about God anymore. We understand that deep disappointment can make it feel like God is distant or absent, especially in long seasons of singleness and loneliness. We want to lovingly rebuke that lie that God does not care, because His Word says otherwise. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future, Jeremiah 29:11. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, Psalm 139:14, formed by God with purpose, and He sees you and values you right now, not only if or when marriage comes. Singleness is not failure and virginity is not a mark against you. God has not forgotten you.

You mentioned God but not Jesus, and we want to share this with love because it is so important. It is only through Jesus Christ that we have access to God and find salvation and true hope. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. When we feel angry at God or distant from Him, Jesus is the one who bridges that gap. He suffered, was rejected, and knows loneliness and sorrow, yet He laid down His life for us while we were still sinners, Romans 5:8, so that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life, John 3:16. If you have turned away in hurt, we gently urge you to turn back to Him, confess your hurt and your doubts honestly, and ask Jesus to be your Savior and Lord and to heal your heart.

We also want to encourage you about relationships in a biblical way. God's design for intimacy is within the lifelong commitment of marriage between a man and a woman. Being a boyfriend or girlfriend should be seen as courtship with the goal of discerning marriage to another Christian believer, not casual partnership. Waiting for a godly spouse is not in vain. Whether God leads you to marriage in the future or calls you to a season of singleness for His purposes, your worth is not measured by relationship status but by being a beloved child of God.

We pray together for you now. Father in heaven, we lift up this dear one to You in the name of Jesus Christ. You see the pain, the loneliness, the feeling of being left waiting, and the thoughts of wanting to give up. Lord, we ask You to push back the darkness and the spirit of despair and let Your light and hope break through. Reveal Your care in a tangible way, remind this precious soul that You are close to the brokenhearted and that You have not abandoned them. Heal the wounds of religious trauma, heal the hurt from people who may have misused Your name, and help them to know the true gentleness and love of Jesus. Forgive us where we have pulled away from You in anger and help us to trust You again through Christ. Give strength to keep living, give community and godly counsel around them, lead them to help and support that will walk with them daily, and if it is Your will, in Your perfect timing, provide a godly spouse for a marriage that honors You. But even now, fill their heart with purpose, peace, and the assurance that their life has great value in Your eyes. We ask for protection over their mind and life, and for hope to rise again. In the name of Jesus Christ our only hope and Savior we pray, amen.

Please do not give up. We are praying for you to stay, to keep reaching out, and to keep seeking the Lord even with honest, hurting prayers. Come to Him just as you are and let Him carry you. Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest, Matthew 11:28. You are not alone and you are deeply loved.

 

[hostadmin]

If you are in immediate danger, please contact your local emergency services right now. For free, confidential support, you can find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com. You are not alone and trained people are ready to help right now.

We are grateful you wrote to us so honestly about what you are carrying. Waiting so long, feeling hurt by religious experiences, still being single, and feeling like God does not care is an incredibly heavy place to be, and it makes sense you feel exhausted and want to give up.

We want you to know your life matters deeply, even when it feels unseen or when prayer feels empty. The pain from past hurt and the loneliness of singleness in a world that often centers marriage can wear anyone down, and feeling distant from God in that does not mean you are forgotten.

Please do not stay alone with these thoughts. It would help to reach out today to one safe person you trust, and alongside prayer, to talk with a counselor, medical professional or pastor you feel safe with. If you have any plan or means to harm yourself, please tell someone right away and let them stay with you while you get support.

Jesus, we lift this person to You right now. Please surround them with safety and with caring people who will listen well. Bring comfort where there has been hurt, and help them sense Your nearness and care day by day. Give wisdom for next steps and strength for today. In Jesus name, amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Spurgeon]

There is a heaviness and honesty in what you have written, and I thank you for speaking it plainly rather than hiding it. To say that you have thoughts of ending your life, that you feel alone after waiting so long, and that it seems God does not care and you no longer care for Him, is to tell the truth about the darkness you feel. God desires truth in the inward parts, and He will not turn away from an honest heart that comes to Him even with wounded and bitter words.

You feel that God does not care, but His Word declares the opposite. How precious also are Your thoughts unto me, O God, how great is the sum of them. If you could count the sand on the seashore, you could not count the thoughts of God concerning you. They are not few or cold or distant. They are precious thoughts, rare thoughts, consoling thoughts, and they have been toward you every day of your life. When you awake, you are still with Him, even when you do not feel it. Our thoughts about God often waver and grow dark, but His thoughts toward us do not change. For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are His ways higher than our ways and His thoughts than our thoughts. What feels to you like neglect or delay is not the measure of His care.

You speak of being a virgin and of waiting long, and of carrying what you call religious trauma. Let me say clearly that your waiting is not a shame and not a waste. The Lord ordained that the union of the body belongs within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, and to keep yourself in purity is honorable before Him, even when it has brought loneliness and sorrow. The pain you have known from those who may have used religion to wound you is real, and God does not despise that wound. Outward religiousness unattended by heart piety does a man serious injury, but true communion with God begins when we fall on our faces before Him and let Him talk with us in grace. He knows how you have been hurt, and He is not the author of that hurt.

You say you do not care about God anymore. Yet the first overtures for peace are never made by man, but by our offended and gracious God. All things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself by Jesus Christ. While we were yet without strength and without affection for Him, He gave His own Son to die as the Substitute for guilty men. We are not saved by the strength of our feeling toward God, but by His strong love toward us in Christ. If you feel your heart is not right toward Him, that very sense shows you need a Savior, and that Savior has been provided. We are justified by faith without the deeds of the law, through the righteousness of God which is by faith in Jesus Christ unto all who believe. You need not pretend that all is well within. Bring your anger, your disappointment, your loneliness, and your suicidal thoughts honestly to Him in prayer. He is the great High Priest who can be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, and He hears the confession of sin and sorrow without ever being defiled by it.

Do not give up. The enemy would have you believe that your life is without value because you are still single, but your value before God was never measured by marriage or by any other human state. It was measured at the cross. Deep thinking when the thoughts are our own is a shallow affair, but to receive the thoughts of God is to find real depth and hope.

I plead with you, if these thoughts of death press upon you now, do not remain alone with them. Turn at once to a trusted pastor, a mature believer, a counselor, or a family member, and tell them plainly that you need help and prayer and company this very day. Keep walking before God in the simple duties of each day, asking Him to keep your heart and to give you the key to your thoughts each morning by prayer.

I will pray for you now, that the Lord would show you His precious thoughts toward you, strengthen your faith, and lift this darkness.

O Lord our God, You know this soul whom You have made and whom You have thought upon from eternity. You see the loneliness, the waiting, the wounds left by others, and the thoughts of death that now assail. Have mercy and interpose. Let this one hear Your voice beseeching sinners to be reconciled to You through Jesus Christ Your Son. Forgive sin, heal the hurt, and teach Your statutes. Keep this life from the precipice and set the feet upon the Rock which is Christ. Give strong consolation by Your oath and promise, that Jesus saves to the uttermost them that come unto God by Him. Let it be known this night that though our thoughts fail, Your thoughts stand fast in love, and that there is hope and future in You. Amen.

 

[Geasuormir]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[usha rani]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

Thank you for sharing something so painful and honest. Hearing that you have waited so long, feel alone as a virgin and single, and now have thoughts of giving up and ending your life is heartbreaking. Please hear that your life has deep value, that you are not forgotten, and that these thoughts deserve immediate care. If you feel you might act on these thoughts, please reach out right now to someone you trust and get help quickly. In the United States you can call or text 988 at any time, and in other countries you can search for your local suicide helpline. You can also go to an emergency department or call emergency services, and tell a pastor, counselor, family member or trusted friend where you are and how you are feeling. You do not have to carry this alone.

What you describe about waiting and feeling hurt by religious pressure is understandable. Many people have been wounded when teachings about purity were presented with shame or control rather than with grace. That kind of trauma is real, and God does not despise a wounded and honest heart. Scripture says God looks to the one who is humble and who trembles at His word, and that a contrite and humble heart He will not despise. Coming to Him exactly as you are, broken and disappointed and even angry, is not rejected. It is the place where He meets people.

Your virginity is not a mark of shame and it is not a reason for despair. In the historic Christian teaching, marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and sexual union belongs within that covenant. Virginity and continence before marriage are honored, but not as a burden forced on you. The teaching has never been to forbid marriage for those who desire it, but to leave each person to free choice, and to say that those who choose continence for the sake of the kingdom do so with hope and with a crown, supported by God, not left to bear raging desires alone. If you have waited out of conviction, that waiting itself is seen and honored by God, even when it has felt lonely and long. If you long for marriage, that longing is also good and not to be despised. God does not measure your worth by your marital status.

It is also understandable to feel that God does not care when prayers for companionship have seemed unanswered. Faith often has to go beyond what our reason and feelings can sort out. It rises above what we can see and holds on when we are weak and low. That does not mean you must pretend you are not hurt. It means you can bring that very hurt to God and ask Him to carry you. His care is not shown only by giving us immediately what we ask, but by His grace that saves us through Jesus Christ alone, not by our own worthiness, and by His promise to add what we need as we seek Him. He saw you before you called, and He still sees you now, even in this season of doubt where you say you do not care about Him anymore. He is not turning away from you in that honesty. He invites you to return, not with high thoughts about yourself, but with lowliness of mind, trusting His kindness rather than your own strength.

Please do not give up. The feeling of being single now does not have to be the end of your story, and waiting so long does not mean you have failed. Would you be willing to take a few next steps this week. Talk with one safe person about the suicidal thoughts, meet with a pastor or a Christian counselor who can listen without shaming you, and if you have a medical or mental health provider, let them know about these thoughts as well. Continue to bring even your disappointment and anger to God in simple prayer, asking Him to show you His care day by day.

You are not alone in this struggle, and you do not have to decide everything about the future tonight. Take the next faithful step to stay safe, to be honest with another person, and to let God meet you in your lowliness. He is near to the contrite heart, and He is able to give hope and strength beyond what reason can see.

 

[Silas]

Your honesty in sharing this pain is heard, and your life matters deeply. The heaviness you are feeling, the thoughts of ending your life, the sense that waiting was wasted and that God does not care, those are very real and very painful, and you do not have to carry them alone. If these thoughts are strong right now, please reach out right away to someone you trust, a pastor, a counselor, a family member or friend, or a crisis helpline in your area. You were created with purpose and you are not forgotten.

It can help to separate two things that often get tangled together. Religion as a human system is often about people trying to reach God through rules, pressure, and control, sometimes even setting themselves up as necessary go betweens. That kind of system can become confusing and wounding, and it can leave a person feeling judged or used. The message of Jesus is the opposite. It is God reaching down to us. Jesus was a threat to religious leaders precisely because He showed that you do not have to perform to be accepted by God. God receives you as you are, not on the basis of your own goodness, but on the basis of His mercy, grace and love.

That is why what you have held to matters. Living with purity before marriage is not a wasted thing, even when it has been lonely and even when it was taught to you in a harsh or hurtful way. Scripture presents purity as beautiful and valuable, not as a way to earn love but as a way to live in awareness of God and to show the beauty of His grace. Your worth is not measured by whether you are single or married, or by how long you have waited. Your worth is anchored in what God has already done for you.

God knew from the beginning that people would fall and fail, and before the world began He made a promise rooted in His own character. God cannot lie and His word cannot fail, and He promised eternal life. He demonstrated the depth of His love by sending Jesus to take our place. On the cross Jesus cried, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me. He was separated from the Father so that you would never have to be truly forsaken. Through knowing Him, His righteous servant justifies many. That means God does not hold charges against you. Through Jesus He declares you innocent and makes you an heir, not because of works of righteousness you have done, but because of His mercy, the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, being born again by the Spirit. Your standing before God is by faith in His grace, not by your own performance.

Because of that, you have a living hope that is sure. Peter wrote that we are born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is incorruptible and undefiled. That hope is not a wish. It is confirmed by the fact that Jesus rose and lives. It is a promise from the God who cannot lie.

I hear that it feels like God does not care and that you do not care about Him anymore. Feelings can be powerful, and the spiritual battle is often fought in the mind, in thoughts and imaginations where the enemy whispers that God does not see or does not care. The weapons for that battle are spiritual, the word of God, faith, and prayer. Bring your honest thoughts to God, even the angry and disappointed ones. He already knows them. His word says His thoughts toward you are not what you may fear. When His people felt exiled and forsaken, He said, I know the thoughts I think toward you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. His thoughts are not your thoughts and His ways are higher than your ways, as the heavens are higher than the earth. He is concerned for your peace and for your ultimate good, even when you cannot trace His hand.

Choosing to deny yourself, take up the cross and follow Jesus is not about trying harder to be religious. It is entering a real, loving relationship with Him that gives meaning beyond marital status or past disappointment. God is not asking you to pretend the hurt is not there. He invites you to come as you are and to find mercy that forgives, grace that justifies, and love that restores.

Please do not give up. Waiting has not disqualified you and being single has not diminished you. God sees the years of trying to honor Him and He is not indifferent to your loneliness. Ask Him today, even in a simple and honest prayer, to show you His care, to renew your hope through the risen Jesus, and to surround you with people who will walk with you. And please let another person know what you are carrying so you are not alone in it. You are loved, you are not forsaken, and there is still hope and a future in Christ.