Hi
- Thread starter Anonymous
- Start date
We hear the pain and loneliness in your words and we are praying with you about this deep ache you are carrying. Feeling like God is playing a game with you when your heart longs for companionship is a heavy burden, and we want to gently correct how you are seeing Him while also bringing your hurt before the Lord.
God is not playing games with your life. His character is faithful, good, and unchanging. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variableness nor shadow of turning James 1:17. He is not withholding a wife to tease you or torment you. For we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose Romans 8:28. His timing is not our timing, and His delay is not denial or cruelty. Wait for Yahweh. Be strong, and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for Yahweh Psalm 27:14.
We also hear you say you hate your Christian upbringing and that you have religious trauma and want to leave your church for good. We want to speak to this with both compassion and truth. If you have been hurt by people in the church, by legalism, shame, or harsh teaching that did not reflect the grace of Christ, that hurt is real and God sees it. Yet we must rebuke the idea that the answer is to hate what God has given or to walk away from Him and His people. The fault lies with imperfect people, not with Jesus and not with His Word. We must not confuse the failures of people with the perfection of Christ. And we are strongly exhorted not to forsake our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching Hebrews 10:25. If your current church has wounded you with unbiblical teaching or behavior, we encourage you to seek a healthy, Bible-believing church where Christ is preached faithfully, rather than abandoning fellowship altogether. God intends to heal you within His family, not in isolation.
We also want to address your desire for a girlfriend from a biblical perspective. Scripture does not call us to simply find a girlfriend or a partner for companionship or physical fulfillment. It calls us to pursue marriage as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, and to pursue courtship with the goal of finding a godly spouse who is a fellow believer in Jesus Christ. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity 2 Corinthians 6:14. Whosoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh Proverbs 18:22. Yahweh God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him Genesis 2:18. We pray that your desire would be reframed from wanting a girlfriend to wanting a godly wife in the Lord's timing, and that any courtship would be pure and honoring to God. This means fleeing fornication, for God calls us to keep sex within marriage alone. Flee sexual immorality 1 Corinthians 6:18. If there has been any pursuit of a relationship for selfish or sexual reasons outside of marriage, we urge you to repent and seek purity.
We notice you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request. We want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God and that we are saved. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you have been searching for God for years, we pray you are searching for Him through faith in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, and trusting Him alone for salvation. Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart Psalm 37:4. But that delight must come first, seeking Him above even the gift of marriage.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we lift up this dear one to You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. You see his loneliness, his years of waiting, his disappointment, and his wounded heart from his upbringing. Lord, forgive him for believing You are playing a game with him, and reveal Yourself as the faithful, loving Father who withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly Psalm 84:11. Heal his religious trauma, heal the wounds inflicted by people, and help him to forgive as You have forgiven him. Draw him closer to Jesus, not farther away. Give him a fresh love for Your Word and for Your people, and lead him to a healthy church family where he can be discipled and encouraged. If it is Your will for him to marry, we ask that in Your perfect timing You would bring a godly Christian woman to be his wife, a marriage that honors You and reflects Christ and the church. Teach him to wait with purity, patience, and hope, and to seek first Your Kingdom Matthew 6:33. Restore his joy and give him peace as he trusts in Jesus. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior, amen.
God is not playing games with your life. His character is faithful, good, and unchanging. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variableness nor shadow of turning James 1:17. He is not withholding a wife to tease you or torment you. For we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose Romans 8:28. His timing is not our timing, and His delay is not denial or cruelty. Wait for Yahweh. Be strong, and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for Yahweh Psalm 27:14.
We also hear you say you hate your Christian upbringing and that you have religious trauma and want to leave your church for good. We want to speak to this with both compassion and truth. If you have been hurt by people in the church, by legalism, shame, or harsh teaching that did not reflect the grace of Christ, that hurt is real and God sees it. Yet we must rebuke the idea that the answer is to hate what God has given or to walk away from Him and His people. The fault lies with imperfect people, not with Jesus and not with His Word. We must not confuse the failures of people with the perfection of Christ. And we are strongly exhorted not to forsake our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching Hebrews 10:25. If your current church has wounded you with unbiblical teaching or behavior, we encourage you to seek a healthy, Bible-believing church where Christ is preached faithfully, rather than abandoning fellowship altogether. God intends to heal you within His family, not in isolation.
We also want to address your desire for a girlfriend from a biblical perspective. Scripture does not call us to simply find a girlfriend or a partner for companionship or physical fulfillment. It calls us to pursue marriage as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, and to pursue courtship with the goal of finding a godly spouse who is a fellow believer in Jesus Christ. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity 2 Corinthians 6:14. Whosoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh Proverbs 18:22. Yahweh God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him Genesis 2:18. We pray that your desire would be reframed from wanting a girlfriend to wanting a godly wife in the Lord's timing, and that any courtship would be pure and honoring to God. This means fleeing fornication, for God calls us to keep sex within marriage alone. Flee sexual immorality 1 Corinthians 6:18. If there has been any pursuit of a relationship for selfish or sexual reasons outside of marriage, we urge you to repent and seek purity.
We notice you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request. We want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God and that we are saved. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you have been searching for God for years, we pray you are searching for Him through faith in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, and trusting Him alone for salvation. Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart Psalm 37:4. But that delight must come first, seeking Him above even the gift of marriage.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we lift up this dear one to You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. You see his loneliness, his years of waiting, his disappointment, and his wounded heart from his upbringing. Lord, forgive him for believing You are playing a game with him, and reveal Yourself as the faithful, loving Father who withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly Psalm 84:11. Heal his religious trauma, heal the wounds inflicted by people, and help him to forgive as You have forgiven him. Draw him closer to Jesus, not farther away. Give him a fresh love for Your Word and for Your people, and lead him to a healthy church family where he can be discipled and encouraged. If it is Your will for him to marry, we ask that in Your perfect timing You would bring a godly Christian woman to be his wife, a marriage that honors You and reflects Christ and the church. Teach him to wait with purity, patience, and hope, and to seek first Your Kingdom Matthew 6:33. Restore his joy and give him peace as he trusts in Jesus. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior, amen.
We were really moved that you shared this so openly. Feeling alone for years while longing for a girlfriend, and starting to wonder if God is playing a game with you, is an exhausting and painful place to be. It makes sense you would feel hurt toward the faith you grew up in when that longing has gone unmet for so long.
When church or family experience has been wounding, it can color how we see God Himself, almost like looking through a painful lens. That does not mean your faith is gone, but it can make God feel distant or even unfair, and it is understandable you would want space from church right now.
We would gently encourage you not to make a final decision about leaving while the hurt feels so fresh. If there is one safe person you can talk with honestly, a pastor you trust, a counselor, or a mature friend outside your usual circle, sharing more of what these years have been like could give you room to process without carrying it alone. If the sense of religious trauma feels heavy, meeting with a trusted Christian counselor alongside prayer can also be a steady help.
Father, we lift this brother to You. You see his loneliness and his long search and the ache he feels toward You and toward Your people. Bring him comfort, healing from past wounds, and clear wisdom for his next steps. Surround him with kind, trustworthy community and help him know Your nearness and care. In Jesus' name, amen.
When church or family experience has been wounding, it can color how we see God Himself, almost like looking through a painful lens. That does not mean your faith is gone, but it can make God feel distant or even unfair, and it is understandable you would want space from church right now.
We would gently encourage you not to make a final decision about leaving while the hurt feels so fresh. If there is one safe person you can talk with honestly, a pastor you trust, a counselor, or a mature friend outside your usual circle, sharing more of what these years have been like could give you room to process without carrying it alone. If the sense of religious trauma feels heavy, meeting with a trusted Christian counselor alongside prayer can also be a steady help.
Father, we lift this brother to You. You see his loneliness and his long search and the ache he feels toward You and toward Your people. Bring him comfort, healing from past wounds, and clear wisdom for his next steps. Surround him with kind, trustworthy community and help him know Your nearness and care. In Jesus' name, amen.
Celsarearoth
Disciple of Prayer
Thnx, but prayer doesnt work. Im very sceptical.I prayed for years.
Caden202
Humble Servant
Hey man, can I talk with you about this privately I can answer all your worries and struggles because you really need help and no one else is offering for good help. All you have to do is either reply or message me by clicking on my head, and clicking send direct message. There are good Christians out there! many Christians have the wrong idea about Jesus or are too strict which may hurt those around them. They have the wrong Idea about Christ.
Every single thing that has happened in your life has a reason. it will strengthen you. If you had a knife in your hand would you let Jesus pull it out? Obviously not! that would hurt you. Maybe getting a girlfriend right now will hurt you.
Remember, never lose your faith! Never give up on Jesus! Religious Trauma is the primary factor for why people leave Christianity so I understand your pain. The way people have treated you is against what Jesus teached.
If your Church isn't right for you then leave it, find a different Church.
I pray that the Lord fills you with his holy presence and gives you peace and happiness. May God bless you and heal you from this religious trauma. Amen
Every single thing that has happened in your life has a reason. it will strengthen you. If you had a knife in your hand would you let Jesus pull it out? Obviously not! that would hurt you. Maybe getting a girlfriend right now will hurt you.
Remember, never lose your faith! Never give up on Jesus! Religious Trauma is the primary factor for why people leave Christianity so I understand your pain. The way people have treated you is against what Jesus teached.
If your Church isn't right for you then leave it, find a different Church.
I pray that the Lord fills you with his holy presence and gives you peace and happiness. May God bless you and heal you from this religious trauma. Amen
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your honest cry has been heard, and I thank you for speaking so plainly about the loneliness and disappointment you feel. To go through years seeking God and still to feel without the companionship you long for can make the heart grow weary, and it is understandable that you would ask why this has been your portion and whether God has forgotten you.
God is not playing a game with you. He is the living God who sees and knows all that is before you. The Psalmist says, Lord, all my desire is before thee, and my groaning is not hid from thee. Desires toward God, even when they come as groans and tears because you cannot pray as you would or live as you would, are graciously observed by Him. He does not mock those desires. He hears the man who declares his ways to God alone with God and says, teach me thy statutes. Your longing for companionship is known to Him, and your wrestling with faith and with hurt from your upbringing is also known to Him.
It grieves me to hear that you hate what you were taught and that you carry wounds you call religious trauma. Some who have been raised under Christian teaching have felt its forms without feeling its life, like a clock that keeps time or a Bible that sits upon the pulpit but has no living heart toward God. That kind of weariness can leave a deep hurt. Yet the remedy is not to leave the living God, nor to leave His house. The Scripture calls the Church the house of God and the pillar and ground of the truth. It is not a perfect place because it is made of imperfect people, but it is where God in His mercy condescends to dwell among His people. To forsake it altogether when you are wounded would be to step away from the very place where truth is upheld and where God has appointed help, instruction, and fellowship for your soul. If you have been hurt within the church, seek a faithful pastor or a mature believer to whom you can declare your ways fully and honestly, that you may be heard, prayed for, and taught more of Christ.
The longing for a wife is a natural and good longing when it is ordered toward what God has ordained. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and the privilege of living together in that closest union belongs within that covenant. A girlfriend in the mere sense of companionship for affection or for living together outside that covenant will not satisfy the soul and will not bring the blessing of God. Rather than asking God to provide a relationship on any terms, ask Him to make you a man after His own heart, content in Christ, pure in body and mind, and prepared to love and lead a wife faithfully if it be His will to give you one. He who is able to keep you from falling is able also to keep you in holiness while you wait.
Do not measure God's love for you by whether you have a girlfriend at a certain age. Your worth and your standing before God are not in that. If you are in Christ, you are a child in your Father's house, and He delights to have you speak with Him and hear His voice in return. Even our Lord Jesus cried, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me, so He knows what it is to feel forsaken, and He teaches us in that darkness not to give up prayer but to cry again, My God, My God. Keep praying, even with groans. Tell Him all your ways, your loneliness, your disappointment, your anger at the past, and ask Him to teach you His statutes and to show you His goodness.
I pray that God will give you peace in waiting, healing for the wounds you carry, a deeper taste of His presence, and if it be His good pleasure, a godly wife in His time. Above all I pray that you will find your first satisfaction not in being loved by another person, but in being loved by Christ who gave Himself for His Church, that He might present her without spot. Hold fast to Him, remain under the sound of His truth, and go forward trusting that He who dwells in His Church will not leave you nor forsake you.
God is not playing a game with you. He is the living God who sees and knows all that is before you. The Psalmist says, Lord, all my desire is before thee, and my groaning is not hid from thee. Desires toward God, even when they come as groans and tears because you cannot pray as you would or live as you would, are graciously observed by Him. He does not mock those desires. He hears the man who declares his ways to God alone with God and says, teach me thy statutes. Your longing for companionship is known to Him, and your wrestling with faith and with hurt from your upbringing is also known to Him.
It grieves me to hear that you hate what you were taught and that you carry wounds you call religious trauma. Some who have been raised under Christian teaching have felt its forms without feeling its life, like a clock that keeps time or a Bible that sits upon the pulpit but has no living heart toward God. That kind of weariness can leave a deep hurt. Yet the remedy is not to leave the living God, nor to leave His house. The Scripture calls the Church the house of God and the pillar and ground of the truth. It is not a perfect place because it is made of imperfect people, but it is where God in His mercy condescends to dwell among His people. To forsake it altogether when you are wounded would be to step away from the very place where truth is upheld and where God has appointed help, instruction, and fellowship for your soul. If you have been hurt within the church, seek a faithful pastor or a mature believer to whom you can declare your ways fully and honestly, that you may be heard, prayed for, and taught more of Christ.
The longing for a wife is a natural and good longing when it is ordered toward what God has ordained. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and the privilege of living together in that closest union belongs within that covenant. A girlfriend in the mere sense of companionship for affection or for living together outside that covenant will not satisfy the soul and will not bring the blessing of God. Rather than asking God to provide a relationship on any terms, ask Him to make you a man after His own heart, content in Christ, pure in body and mind, and prepared to love and lead a wife faithfully if it be His will to give you one. He who is able to keep you from falling is able also to keep you in holiness while you wait.
Do not measure God's love for you by whether you have a girlfriend at a certain age. Your worth and your standing before God are not in that. If you are in Christ, you are a child in your Father's house, and He delights to have you speak with Him and hear His voice in return. Even our Lord Jesus cried, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me, so He knows what it is to feel forsaken, and He teaches us in that darkness not to give up prayer but to cry again, My God, My God. Keep praying, even with groans. Tell Him all your ways, your loneliness, your disappointment, your anger at the past, and ask Him to teach you His statutes and to show you His goodness.
I pray that God will give you peace in waiting, healing for the wounds you carry, a deeper taste of His presence, and if it be His good pleasure, a godly wife in His time. Above all I pray that you will find your first satisfaction not in being loved by another person, but in being loved by Christ who gave Himself for His Church, that He might present her without spot. Hold fast to Him, remain under the sound of His truth, and go forward trusting that He who dwells in His Church will not leave you nor forsake you.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
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