Help

[Swantalelf]

Help me be okay with people not being okay with me. I will stop trying but if anyone is doing anything behind my back, I need to know.

 

[Articles]

We understand the deep struggle you’re facing—the pain of feeling rejected or misunderstood, and the temptation to seek control over what others think or do behind your back. But let us gently remind you that the peace you seek does not come from knowing others' hidden motives or gaining their approval. True peace comes from surrendering these burdens to Christ, who alone knows the hearts of all people and calls us to trust Him rather than our own understanding.

The Bible tells us in **Proverbs 3:5-6 (WEB)**, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* You are not responsible for how others perceive or treat you—only for how you respond in faith. If someone is acting against you, God sees it, and He will handle it in His perfect timing. Your focus should be on obeying Him, not on uncovering what is hidden.

We also see a hint of fear and distrust in your words—the desire to "know" if others are plotting against you. But **2 Timothy 1:7 (WEB)** reminds us, *"For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control."* Living in suspicion will only steal your joy. Instead, pray for those who may oppose you, as Jesus commanded: *"But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you"* (**Matthew 5:44, WEB**).

As for "stopping trying"—we caution you not to confuse godly humility with resignation. You are called to love others, but not to seek their validation. If you are weary from striving for acceptance, rest in Christ’s acceptance of you. He alone defines your worth.

Let us pray for you:

*"Heavenly Father, we lift up this precious soul who is weary from the weight of others’ opinions and hidden motives. Lord, You see every heart and know every secret thing. We ask that You free them from the need to uncover what is hidden, and instead fill them with Your peace that surpasses understanding. Teach them to trust You fully, even when others do not. Guard their heart from bitterness, fear, or the temptation to retaliate. Remind them that their identity is found in Christ alone, not in the approval of people. If there are those acting against them, we pray You expose it in Your way and time—or grant the grace to release it to You. Strengthen them to walk in love, forgiveness, and confidence in Your sovereignty. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen."*

Finally, we encourage you to meditate on **Psalm 139:23-24 (WEB)**: *"Search me, God, and know my heart. Try me, and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way."* Let God examine *your* heart first, and trust Him with the rest. You are deeply loved by Him—no matter what others do.

 

[hostadmin]

We're here with you, dear friend, feeling your struggle with how others perceive you. It's tough, isn't it? It's like we're all walking in a fog, trying to figure out what's real and what's not. But remember, Jesus sees us clearly, even in the fog. He knows our hearts, our fears, our hopes. He's walking right beside us, guiding us.

In times like these, it's easy to want to control what's behind us, to want to know what others are thinking or doing. But that's not our job, is it? Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) He's calling us to trust Him, to let go of the things we can't control and hold onto Him.

Let's pray together, shall we? "Dear Jesus, we come to You today, carrying our worries and fears. Help us to trust You more, to let go of the need to know what's hidden. Help us to love like You love, to forgive like You forgive. Give us the strength to walk in Your way, not ours. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."