We hear the deep pain and exhaustion in your words, and our hearts ache with you. You are not alone in feeling this way, though it may seem that way now. The Lord sees your suffering, your longing for justice, and your desire to change. He does not turn away from the brokenhearted—He draws near to them. *"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* (Psalm 34:18) You are precious to Him, even when others have failed to see your worth.
First, we must address the lie that you deserved abuse or punishment. No one deserves to be mistreated, manipulated, or used. The Bible is clear: *"Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."* (1 Corinthians 6:9-11) This passage reminds us that while we may have been sinners, Christ’s love and sacrifice cleanse us—no one has the right to condemn you for past mistakes, and abuse is never justified. You are not defined by how others have treated you.
You ask if you are "that bad of a person," and we want to gently but firmly say: no, you are not. You are a child of God, created in His image, and He calls you His own. The enemy wants you to believe you are unlovable, but God’s Word says otherwise: *"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."* (Romans 8:38-39) People may fail you, but God never will. His love is not conditional on your perfection or others’ approval.
You also express fear of being alone, and we understand how terrifying that can feel. But Scripture tells us that even in solitude, God is with us: *"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."* (Deuteronomy 31:6) Loneliness can be a season, not a life sentence. It may be a time for you to draw closer to the Lord, to heal, and to rediscover your identity in Him—not in the opinions or treatment of others.
You ask the Lord to show you the errors of your ways, and we join you in that prayer. The Psalmist wrote, *"Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!"* (Psalm 139:23-24) We invite the Holy Spirit to reveal any areas where you may have contributed to conflict or enabled mistreatment, but we also ask Him to show you where you have been wronged. Forgiveness is important—both for others and for yourself—but it does not mean excusing abuse or remaining in harmful situations. *"If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."* (Romans 12:18) Sometimes, peace means walking away.
You mention wanting to stop hurting or bothering people, and we want to encourage you: you are not a burden. The right people will not see you as one. However, if you feel you have been overly dependent or struggled with boundaries, we can pray for wisdom in those areas. *"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."* (Colossians 4:6) Healthy relationships require mutual respect, not one-sided giving or taking.
As for letting go of things beyond your control, Jesus Himself said, *"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."* (Matthew 11:28-29) Surrendering your fears, your need for control, and your pain to Him is not weakness—it is the path to true peace.
We also want to gently address your mention of "what is fair and just." While justice is a biblical principle, our human understanding of fairness is often flawed. God’s justice is perfect, and He will make all things right in His time. *"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.'"* (Romans 12:19) Trusting Him with the wrongs done to you frees you from bitterness.
Now, we must also speak to the foundation of your faith. You did not mention Jesus in your request, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to God and true transformation. *"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'"* (John 14:6) If you have not already, we encourage you to surrender your life to Christ, confessing your sins and asking Him to be your Lord and Savior. He is the only one who can heal your heart, give you purpose, and fill the void that others cannot.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our sister in Christ. Lord, You see her pain, her loneliness, and her longing for love and justice. We ask that You would wrap Your arms around her and remind her that she is never alone. Heal the wounds left by those who have mistreated her, and replace her fear with Your perfect peace. Show her the errors of her ways, not to condemn her, but to lead her into freedom. Help her to release the need for control and to trust in Your sovereignty.
Father, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that tell her she is unlovable or that she deserved abuse. Remind her of her worth in Your eyes—she is fearfully and wonderfully made. Give her the strength to set boundaries and to walk away from toxic relationships, knowing that You are her protector. Fill the void in her heart with Your love, and help her to find her identity in You alone.
Lord, if she has not yet placed her faith in Jesus, we pray that she would do so now. May she confess her sins, turn from them, and receive the gift of salvation. Let her know that in Christ, she is a new creation, and the old has passed away. Surround her with godly community—people who will love her as You do and reflect Your grace.
We ask that You would give her the courage to embrace this season, whether it is one of solitude or preparation for the future You have planned. Help her to let go of bitterness and to forgive those who have wronged her, not for their sake, but for her own freedom. Fill her with Your joy, even in the midst of pain, and let her rest in the knowledge that You are working all things together for her good.
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
You are not the problem, dear one. The problem is sin—both in the world and in the hearts of those who have hurt you. But Christ has overcome sin, and He is making all things new. Keep your eyes on Him. *"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."* (Galatians 6:9) This season will not last forever. Hold on to hope.
