We have heard your heart and we are lifting you up together before the Lord in prayer. You have shared so much pain and so many desires at once, and we want to bring each one to God who sees you fully and loves you deeply.
We first want to address your relationship, because we love you enough to speak the truth. Living together with a man for almost seven years outside of marriage is not in keeping with God's design, and His Word calls sex outside of marriage fornication. Hebrews 13:4 says Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Genesis 2:24 says Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will cling to his wife, and they will be one flesh. God's plan for marriage is one man and one woman joined for life, and a polygamist relationship is contrary to that plan and is sinful. We do not condemn you, for we all have sinned, but we urge you to repent and receive forgiveness, and to see this breakup as an opportunity to be restored and to pursue in the future only a courtship with a fellow believer that is aimed toward godly marriage. The hurtful words about your weight and appearance do not define your worth. 1 Samuel 16:7 says Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. Your value is in being made in God's image and being deeply loved by Him, not in a man's approval.
We also notice your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to gently share that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God and forgiveness of sins. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. 1 John 1:9 says If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ for salvation, to confess your sins to Him, and to come to God the Father in His name alone.
We are praying for your health from your head to your toes, for your flat feet, mild scoliosis, the tear in your lower back, the bumps on your arms, the weight you have gained, and the sleepiness and other effects you feel from your injection. Psalm 103:2-3 says Praise the Lord, my soul, and don’t forget all his benefits, who forgives all your sins, who heals all your diseases. Jeremiah 30:17 says But I will restore health to you and I will heal you of your wounds, says the Lord. We pray for complete healing of mind, body, and soul, and we also pray for wisdom and guidance regarding your treatment for schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Please do not stop or change your injection or any prescribed treatment on your own, but seek counsel from your doctors and trusted medical providers, for God often works through them for our good. We pray God will give your providers wisdom, and that He will bring stability, rest, and clarity to your mind. Philippians 4:6-7 says In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.
You shared that you have had suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideations and that you still feel sad and depressed even as you read the Bible and pray. We are praying earnestly for you and we want you to know God is near to you in this suffering. Psalm 34:18 says The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 147:3 says He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. 1 Peter 5:7 says casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. Please do not carry these thoughts alone. We urge you to reach out right away to a trusted pastor, counselor, family member, medical provider, or a crisis helpline in your area, and to stay connected with people who can support you. Your life is precious to God and to others, and He has purpose for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future.
You mentioned gaining a great amount of weight and feeling you have lost yourself since cutting your hair and stopping perms, and that you have not felt like yourself for a long time. We pray God will restore your sense of identity in Him. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new. 1 Peter 3:3-4 reminds us that beauty should not be just outward, but the hidden person of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. We pray you will see yourself as God sees you and find strength as you care for your body as His temple. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
You have prayed for a new home, a new job, a new car, a new bike, a brand new phone, to learn to drive safely, and to move to a different city or town. We bring these desires to the Lord and ask for His provision and guidance. Matthew 6:33 says But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Philippians 4:19 says My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. We pray God will provide for your needs according to His perfect will, grant you contentment while you wait, and open the right doors for work and housing. We pray for His protection as you learn to drive and for safety on the road. Psalm 121:8 says The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in, from this time forward, and forever more. We pray He will guide your steps if it is His will for you to move, for Proverbs 16:9 says A man’s heart plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps. We pray you will seek His will above all and trust His timing for each provision.
We also lift up your mother and your grandmother before the Lord, asking for His blessing, protection, health, and peace upon them.
Let us pray together.
Father in heaven, we come to You in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, and we thank You that we can approach Your throne of grace through Him alone. We confess our sins and ask for Your forgiveness for all our past sins, and we receive Your mercy through the blood of Jesus. Lord, we lift up this dear one to You. You know the pain of this breakup after many years outside of marriage, the rejection and shame that has been felt, and the desire for polygamy that was not of You. We ask for healing from fornication and for a clean heart, for restoration and for hope for a future godly marriage if it is Your will, with a believing spouse who will honor You. Heal the broken heart and bind up every wound.
Lord, we ask for healing from head to toe, for flat feet, for scoliosis, for the tear in the lower back, for every ache and burden in the body. Lay Your healing hand upon this body and bring restoration. We pray for the mind, for healing from schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, and every suicidal thought. Replace despair with Your peace that passes all understanding, and guard heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Give wisdom to doctors and helpers, give strength to bear the effects of medication, and give clear guidance about treatment. Protect from harm and give a sound mind and hope for better days. Help this dear one to know she is fearfully and wonderfully made in Your image and deeply loved.
Father, provide for every practical need, for housing, for work, for transportation, for learning to drive safely, for daily provision. Lead to the right city and town according to Your perfect plan, and keep from all accidents and danger. Help to steward the body well, to find strength and health, and to find identity not in hair or appearance or possessions like a car, bike, or phone, but in Christ alone. Teach contentment and trust while seeking Your Kingdom first.
We pray for her mother and grandmother, cover them with Your grace and keep them in health and peace. Let Your joy return, let Your Word bring comfort even when feelings are heavy, and let Your Holy Spirit bring healing to mind, body, and soul. We ask all this in the mighty and saving name of Jesus Christ, our only hope. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
