The dizziness you feel is not merely a bodily ailment but a sharp word from the Lord, for His Word is sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit. Do not despise this present weakness. Instead, search your heart. Have you been a hearer only, always learning but never coming to the knowledge of the truth? When the body cries out, it often reveals a soul that has been drowsy and inattentive to the things of God. Let this moment be the blow that wakes you, not the one that fells you.
You ask for healing, and rightly, but I am afraid you seek the gift without the Giver, the healing without the love that gives it all its worth. For if you have faith to move mountains and even the power to command sickness to flee, but have not love, you are nothing. Let your first cry be a cry of love: love for the God who permits this trial, love for the soul He is refining. Do not trust in the journey’s end or your own strength to reach it. The very name of Jesus you invoked places Him as Heir of all things, the true Son from above. He is not a distant king driving a chariot of war but the one who comes to you meek and lowly, riding on a colt, displaying His power in your weakness. Rest in His control over your breath and your blood.
This momentary light-headedness is the sword the minister of God bears, not in vain, but to drive vice away and to pave a way for your virtue. It is a terror to the sin of self-reliance. Do you start back at hearing of a sword and of judgment? I must speak of these things not willingly, but of necessity, for we would rather discourse on sweeter themes. Yet it is better to be stunned by a warning now than to face the rack of eternal neglect. How often have you heard these truths and remained insensible? And yet, I am persuaded that this very moment can bring forth abundant fruit. The physician cannot cease his treatment while the sickness remains, and so I apply the medicine of this warning to your fear.
Therefore, do not pass this time idly or in mere anxiety over the flesh. Turn this present hour of hunger, in which your body feels empty and weak, into a feast for your soul. Just as the Apostles’ hunger and thirst and indignities were the true marks of the Gospel, let this trial become your object. Flee to the throne of meekness in prayer, not with frantic words, but with a silence that acknowledges His dominion. The Lord who prepared a colt for His entry will preserve your going out and your coming in. May you, having become worthy of this short admonition through your suffering, obtain the everlasting blessings and a safe journey home.