Eliergate
Humble Prayer Partner
I pray for great health and that my health gets better so I can read, exercise, and do things. I pray to heal from when I stayed over my uncle's house and felt scared. I felt as if my hands were being attacked by the neighbor upstairs. If I made noise, he would make noise, and I felt as if he would follow my private area around even when I was under the covers. I felt him over me like in his crib on top of me, making noise and moving around a lot. I didn't like him, nor did I like staying there or living with him for a long time. I was worried about a lot of things and stressed out. I'm with a program now, and when I was in a mental hospital, the psych ward said that I couldn't leave without being assigned to a program. I'm not sure how long this goes, but I'm a very smart woman. I don't need the program bossing me around or checking in on me a lot. I pray that I don't have to be with this program for the rest of my life. It's as if they want me to admit that I have schizophrenia and that I suffer from a mental illness. I pray that I get healed from mental illness. Ever since I've been on the medication, I've gained weight because all I do is eat, stay home, and go to sleep. I pray that I get back to myself and that I learn to control my eating habits because I'm all over the place. I don't like people like that. It's not like I'm against them, but I feel like the staff members aren't up to par on a lot of things. I know how to apply for a job; I went to school for business administration, and they teach you how to apply for jobs and do things. I always hated the fact that these people had to check on me and come to my home. It's like they want me to listen to them and then document my every move. I never did anything bad with the system, so I don't know why they're doing that. I pray that I get my life together and get back my well-being. I used to always work and stay with a job; I was a happy woman once upon a time. I wasn't always worried or stressed out the way that I am now. I don't want to go back to a mental hospital. I used to go because I felt like something was wrong with my fingers and my hands, and I didn't like living with my cousin. I felt like she would always watch me and stare at me. Now I'm diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. It's like the more I go to the hospital, the more they add diagnoses for me that don't always seem to be true. I've always been sure of what was happening towards me. I've never been sick or crazy. I pray that I do heal and get back to myself. There are a lot of crazy people out here, people who aren't well civilized. That's how the world is sometimes, and I'm not perfect. I pray that I get back to myself and that I do heal. I hated the fact that I even went to live with my aunt. I felt disconnected from her. She would always be in the room with her daughter and barely come in the room to check on me. She would come in sometimes, but it's like her bf had to force her, and I didn't like that. I pray I have my own home so I don't have to run to the hospital for a meal or for a place to stay. One of the security guards was watching me and talked down on me and called me homeless and said that I was ugly. She didn't even know. She got mad because they said that I could use the phone. I wanted to call my aunt, and they let me. I pray that I heal and get back to myself and become a better woman and a better person. I don't want to be homeless or poor ever again. In the past, I would argue with my mother and go back and forth with her. Some people just aren't righteous, and I don't like that. I want to grow and heal and get back to myself and become a better woman. I would like to work at a job that pays me good money so I can support myself. I pray that my health becomes better so I don't have to quit my job. I've worked at multiple jobs before traveling, trying to find income, and it just hasn't been working out for me. I haven't found a good-paying job yet. I pray that I do find a job that's good and one that pays me well. I pray to move out of this apartment and stay away from this building. I don't like it. I feel as if I'm being attacked by my neighbors for years. I felt like the homosexual man upstairs doesn't like me. I would lift my head when I was asleep, and I felt him get angry. He started banging on the side of the walls from upstairs. Even when I would open the key, I would feel someone walking around waiting for me to put the key inside the door. I don't like him, and I pray to move from living underneath him. He was making me mad and angry and just suicidal to be honest with you. He made me overeat every time I would be inside of the house. I would overeat a lot, and I just wasn't myself, and that bothered me, and I didn't like that. I pray that I find a new place to stay at. I pray to heal from the relationship that I'm in. I don't even know if it's a relationship. I've been with this man for almost five years, and I just haven't been myself. I want to move on and find a man that wants to be with me and only me. He talks of marrying more than one woman, and I don't like that. I pray that I heal and get back to myself. My mother was a part of my downfall as well. She was the one who told folks that I had schizophrenia way before I was even diagnosed with it. So maybe she may have put a curse or a spell on me. I don't trust her completely. She must have gotten sick and tired of me running to the hospital. She didn't want me to go. My other cousin said nothing was wrong with my hands. He said I was fine, but I didn't feel fine, and I knew that something was up, and that something was just not right. Even when I use the bathroom and shower, the guy upstairs, he's listening, and there's a specific type of noise that he would make, and it bothers me and throws me off. I don't know what his problem is, but I pray that I heal from whatever he's doing towards me and that I get back to myself. Even the old man that lives next door, he sneezes a lot and he coughs, and sometimes I feel as if he's way too close to the walls. After I flush the toilet, I could feel someone banging on the walls after I walk out, and he was the same guy that talked bad about me to folks for a long time. His wife even tried to fight me. She died; she was very nosy, though. I pray that I do heal and that I do get back to myself. I don't like nor do I trust people. I pray to heal from all of the pain that was caused from my neighbors. My mother even sided with him when he spoke bad upon me and said it's probably because I be looking crazy. I pray that I can exercise as well. I feel lazy at times. I try to exercise a little, but overall, I just feel unlike myself. I pray that my body heals and that my health gets better as well. I don't want to be unwell or sick anymore. I want to be healthy. I don't want to harm anyone or myself. I wanted to harm myself recently, but I didn't. I pray that I find peace and that I learn to take very good care of myself. I pray that the enemy leaves me alone and that I get back to myself. I also pray for be forgiven from all of my past sins. I pray for better days. I pray for healing from my past. I pray to be honest with myself and not stress or worry about folks anymore. I pray for my feet to be healed from mental illness and that I get back to myself. I don't want these women that are in this program to come to my house and just do help me with everything. It's simple things that I can do without the help of them, and I feel like they just nosy and want to know everything that I'm doing. Even when I went to a mental hospital before, I didn't like the lady how she came inside of the room and started asking me questions. She was throwing me off and making me feel unlike myself, so I didn't speak. I felt out of place. I was messing around with a different man, and he ended up giving me money to catch a cab because he didn't want me to be at his house, but he wasn't my type anyway, and I left and went to a hospital because I didn't have a place to go to. I was staying with my aunt, and I had to give her a phone call before I came inside of her house, and I just didn't like the idea of staying inside of the house every day. I like to be and feel productive, so I would get on the bus and travel. I didn't know where I was headed or going, and people were worried about me. I pray that my body heals and that my mind heals. I was speaking to people who didn't even like me rather yet trying to stay with them. I don't trust those women or those people. I pray that I heal and get back towards myself. I don't like the building that I live in, and I would like to move. I would like to pray for mental illness to come off of my medical records. I pray for my entire well-being to get better. I pray for peace, love, joy, and happiness. I pray for my arms to heal, for my back to heal, for my ears to heal, for everything to heal. I feel like a demon is inside of me because I do not feel normal. I pray that my spirit gets back. I don't feel connected to God sometimes. I pray for my soul to be realigned as well. I pray for everything to heal and go back to normal. I pray for better days. I pray for complete joy and happiness. I pray for healing from my past. I pray to heal from suicidal thoughts. I feel as if my freedom has been long gone due to me having to be with this program. I don't feel as if I have any privacy to do whatever that I want to do without people all in my business. The last woman that was at the hospital kept saying that I was depressed. She would scream at me before and told me that I needed to go to groups and she would tell me to wake up every time she had come to my room. I was still in bed. I pray that I do heal and get back to myself. I pray that I heal from depression and not have to wake up inside of a mental hospital anymore or even have to collect government assistance. I want to be able to work on my own and create healthy wealth and income. I pray that I get back to myself and that I be happy and healthy. My mind was all over the place. I kept going to different hospitals trying to be seen for my fingers and my well-being, just my body. I didn't feel well. I felt sick. I pray that I heal and get back to myself. I pray for brighter days. I pray to heal from my past and living with my aunt. I pray to heal from flat feet. I pray for my body to heal and go back to a normal healthy body. I pray for my voice to heal and come back. I pray for my muscles to heal. I pray for my teeth to grow back and for my teeth to be nice and healthy. I don't like the neighborhood that I stay in. I don't like the neighbors or the people, and I want to move away. I pray that I find a beautiful home in a nice neighborhood, and I pray that I begin to take care of myself and not let the enemy distract me or stop me from taking care of myself. I pray for better days. I pray for my eyes to heal. The enemy, he's attacking my eyes, my hands, my fingers, my back, my voice, my swallowing, my ears, and throat. I pray for healing and that I get back to myself.