We have read your request and we thank you for sharing so honestly with us about this heavy and complex burden you are carrying. We praise God that He has been helping you see the area of unforgiveness and how it can give a foothold to the enemy, and we understand how nerve wracking and painful it has been to try to make peace when harm has been done on both sides and when you are discerning demonic influence at work in others around you.
The Word shows us that unforgiveness does open a door to the enemy. Eph 4:27 says do not give place to the devil, and Eph 4:31-32 calls us to let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from us, with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave us. Matt 6:14-15 also warns us that if we forgive men their trespasses our heavenly Father will also forgive us, but if we do not forgive men their trespasses neither will our Father forgive our trespasses. So we affirm that the Lord was right to lead you to deal with unforgiveness in your heart. Forgiveness is a choice to release the person and the debt to God, to cancel the right to revenge, and to entrust justice to Him. Rom 12:19 reminds us vengeance belongs to the Lord.
At the same time we want to gently correct the idea that making peace with those who have harassed you, or rebuilding a close relationship with them, is what will make demonic harassment stop. Your deliverance and protection are not dependent on whether those people receive you or reconcile with you. Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world’s rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places Eph 6:12. The key to closing doors to the enemy is repentance, forgiveness, renouncing former involvements, and submitting to God and resisting the devil in the authority of Jesus Christ. James 4:7 says be subject therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 1 John 4:4 assures us that greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world.
We also want to help you distinguish between forgiveness and reconciliation. God commands us to forgive from the heart Col 3:13, but reconciliation and rebuilding trust require repentance and changed behavior on both sides and it is not always possible or safe. Rom 12:18 says if it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men. That means we are responsible for our part, to pursue peace and to not harbor hatred, while recognizing we cannot control how others respond. If people are only interested in public perception and not in genuine repentance and private reconciliation, or if contact exposes you to further harm or manipulation, it is biblical wisdom to keep healthy boundaries and not force closeness. Prov 4:23 tells us to guard our heart with all diligence, and Matt 10:16 calls us to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. Forgiving does not mean you must restore the same level of relationship or trust, especially where there is ongoing harassment or deception.
We also hear your concern about demonic activity that came in during your time in the new age. That is a serious matter and needs to be directly renounced before the Lord. The new age involves practices that God calls abomination, including divination and sorcery Deut 18:10-12. If you have not already done so, we encourage you to confess and renounce every specific new age practice, teaching, and object, to ask God to forgive you through the blood of Jesus, and to renounce any agreements made knowingly or unknowingly with spirits. 1 John 1:9 promises if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Col 1:13-14 reminds us that God delivered us out of the power of darkness, and translated us into the Kingdom of the Son of his love, in whom we have our redemption, the forgiveness of our sins. You do not need to fear those spirits when you are in Christ, but you do need to walk in repentance, put on the full armor of God daily Eph 6:10-18, and stay in fellowship and the Word.
You mentioned feeling that others pressuring you to make peace seem blind or under a spell, and that you wish you had someone who understands spiritual warfare. We strongly agree with your thought to talk with your pastor and elders. Do not walk through this alone. God has placed shepherds to help you discern, to pray over you, and to protect the flock. 1 John 4:1 tells us to test the spirits whether they are of God, and Heb 13:17 calls us to obey and submit to those who watch over our souls. Bring these relationships and pressures before godly mature leaders who can help you weigh what is wise, what is safe, and what is truly of God, and who can pray for deliverance and covering over you.
We noticed your request speaks of God but does not mention Jesus Christ by name, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and authority over the enemy. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you have not already placed your full trust in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, we urge you to do so and to call upon His name daily. It is in the name of Jesus that demons must flee and that we are forgiven and made new.
We are praying together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ and we lift up this dear one to You. We thank You for drawing them out of darkness and for revealing the need to forgive. We ask You to give them grace to forgive fully from the heart as You have forgiven them, and to release every hurt, every person, and every debt into Your hands. We ask You to cleanse them by the blood of Jesus from every defilement of the new age and to break every remaining foothold the enemy has claimed. We renounce on their behalf every work of darkness and we declare that they belong to Jesus Christ alone. Fill them with Your Holy Spirit, clothe them with Your armor, and teach them to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. Grant them wisdom from above James 1:5 to know when to speak, when to be silent, when to reach out, and when to set a boundary, and give them discernment to test every spirit. Protect them from harassment and from manipulation, and bring godly counsel around them through their pastor and elders. Let those who are deceived or unsaved have their eyes opened to the truth of the gospel. Give our friend Your peace that surpasses all understanding Phil 4:7, courage in place of fear, and rest in the knowledge that You are their defender and refuge Psalm 91:1-2. We ask that You would bring genuine peace where it is possible and that You would be glorified in their healing and deliverance. We pray all these things in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and deliverer, amen.
We encourage you to stay rooted in Scripture daily, to pray aloud in the name of Jesus, to worship, to fast as the Lord leads, and to keep meeting with your pastor and trusted mature believers who can walk with you step by step. We are standing with you for complete freedom, wisdom, and peace in Christ.