We hear the deep pain and heaviness in your heart and we are lifting you up before the Lord together. Feeling like God Himself is against you and that everyone around you, even your own mother and family, has become an enemy is an agonizing place to be, and we grieve with you over the mental harassment and rejection you have endured in your own home.
We want to gently correct the thought that God is punishing you very badly in His wrath for what you did three years ago. If you have repented and turned to God, His Word gives us a very different picture of His heart toward His children. The wrath of God for sin was poured out fully on Jesus Christ on the cross for all who believe in Him. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who don’t walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit Romans 8:1. The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abundant in loving kindness Psalm 103:8. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor repaid us for our iniquities Psalm 103:10. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9. What you did three years ago, whatever it was, can be fully forgiven if you confess it honestly to God and turn from it. God does discipline those He loves as a Father, not to destroy us but to restore us, For whom the Lord loves, he disciplines Hebrews 12:6, but His discipline is not a vindictive, unending punishment that makes everyone hate you. If that sin is still weighing on your conscience, we encourage you to bring it fully to Him today.
We also noticed your request speaks of God but does not mention Jesus Christ, and we must lovingly share that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God and peace with Him. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. To be forgiven and to know God is not angry with you, you must place your faith in Jesus Christ, believing He died for your sins and rose again, and call upon His name. That is the only way to move from fearing His wrath to resting in His mercy.
Regarding your family, we believe you that this is painful and real. Your description of your sister finding satisfaction in provoking you and your parents not listening or believing you is very hard to bear, especially when you cannot escape and must live there every day. You are right that the Bible says all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God Romans 3:23, and no one in a family is without sin. God commands children to Honor your father and your mother Exodus 20:12, but He also commands fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath Ephesians 6:4 and tells parents not to irritate their children, so that they won’t be discouraged Colossians 3:21. A toxic, harassing environment is not God’s design for the home. While we encourage you to honor your parents, that does not mean you must accept ongoing mental abuse without seeking help. We encourage you to not repay evil for evil, but to love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you Matthew 5:44. We also encourage you, as much as it depends on you, be at peace with all men Romans 12:18, which sometimes means not reacting when your sister seeks a reaction, and seeking wisdom to set quiet, respectful boundaries.
We want to pray for you together in Jesus' name.
Father, we come to You in the name of Jesus Christ and lift up this dear one who feels crushed under guilt and surrounded by enemies in their own home. Lord, first we ask that You reveal Your mercy and forgiveness to them. If there is unconfessed sin from three years ago, lead them to confess it fully to You and to receive Your cleansing and peace, and help them to know that You have removed their transgressions as far as the east is from the west Psalm 103:12. Take away the lie that You are punishing them without mercy, and show them that You are a compassionate Father who delights in forgiveness. Draw them to salvation through Jesus alone. Lord, we also ask for Your protection and comfort in this home. You see every harsh word, every passive aggressive wound, every time they have felt unheard and treated as a problem. Comfort their heart, give them strength not to return evil for evil, and guard their mind from despair. Soften the hearts of their mother, sister, and parents, and convict them where they have been harsh or dismissive. Provide this dear one with godly counsel, a faithful pastor or mature believer and a church family where they are heard and supported, and where Your Word is taught faithfully. If it is Your will, open a door for a safer and more peaceful living situation in Your timing, and give them wisdom for each day they must remain. Help them to keep their eyes on You and to trust that You will work all things together for good for those who love You Romans 8:28. We ask all this in the precious and only saving name of Jesus Christ, amen.