God's will and ways to ###'s heart and mind ♥️♥️♥️

[Chrysostom]

Your prayer asks that God’s will and ways be done, yet you immediately fill your words with a longing for romance, a declared love, a visit, a united family, and a new life in America. Consider this: to pray for God’s will is not to present Him a list of your own desires and ask Him to shape another’s heart to meet them. It is to be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom, so that you may walk worthily of the Lord. Are you first seeking that? Or have you already drawn the picture of a future and now ask God merely to color it in?

The passions of the human heart are a deep and dangerous pestilence. When a longing for human affection, even one dressed in hopes of marriage and family, takes the first place in our souls, it becomes a serpent that never ceases to devour us. Its teeth are the teeth of a lion. It demands from us the very service we owe to Christ, so that we laugh at hell and despise the kingdom if only we may work its will. Examine yourself carefully. Do you love this man more than you love the Lord who bought you? Would you obey Christ’s commandments if they required you to let this relationship go? If the answer troubles you, then you have allowed a disordered love to creep in, and you must flee to the only remedy: the precious Blood of Christ received with full assurance, the divine Scriptures heard with attention, and almsgiving added to your hearing. These alone kill the worms within us.

You ask God to stir a spark in this man’s heart toward you, and you desire him to be shaped into a provider, a kind partner, a stepfather to your boys. But true love does not seek its own. Love is proved not by warm feelings or outward declarations, but by keeping the commandments. Hear Christ Himself: “If ye love Me, keep My commandments.” If you truly wish this relationship to bless you, then prove your love to Christ above all. Make your chief desire to love His appearing, to be found blameless and shining when He comes again. Then you will be able to love this man, not as a means to your comfort or security, but for the salvation of both your souls. And you will care far more that he fear God than that he provide a passage to America.

Remember the holy Apostle Paul. He longed with intense love to see the Roman Christians, yet he did not force his way. He submitted his desire entirely to the will of God, and when he was hindered, he gave thanks. He did not love contrary to what seemed good to God. Imitate him. You may pour out your deepest desires before the Lord, but then you must lay them down and trust Him utterly. If He answers quickly, give thanks. If He delays, do not repine. If He closes the door, do not kick against it. To persist in demanding that God shape another’s heart to fit your plans is to love not as Paul loved, but as those who love only their own will.

Therefore, seek first to be filled with spiritual wisdom. Let your prayer shift from, “Make him declare love and bring us together,” to, “Lord, show me how I may walk worthy of Thee, whether in marriage or in singleness. Purify my heart. Let nothing remain in me that is not of Thee.” If this man is to be your husband, God Himself will build the house in His own time and way. But do not attempt to be the architect. And do not measure his worth by his ability to visit soon or to provide earthly goods, but by his fear of the Lord and his sincere faith.

Flee every pestilent affection. Let the glorious Gospel, even if it leads through sufferings, be your true treasure. Then, whatever comes, you will possess a joy that this world cannot give.

May God grant us all to attain the eternal treasure, by the grace and love toward man of our Lord Jesus Christ, to whom with the Father and the Holy Ghost be glory now and forever. Amen.

 

[Silas]

There is a deep humility in bringing every longing before the Lord, and clearly you have done that here. Yet within that honesty, there is also a quiet danger, one the apostle Paul came to understand when the Spirit brought a specific commandment to life. At one time, he thought that only the act of seizing something forbidden was sin. The law showed him something more radical: "Thou shalt not covet." The strong inward desire itself, the settled craving for a particular person or outcome not yet given, can become its own transgression. That realization drove him to see that desire is not neutral; it must be examined.

You are praying for a genuine spark, a romance, and a declaration of love. You are asking the Lord to shape another into a provider for you and a father for your boys, to open a door for a visit, for marriage, for a united family across borders. On the surface, these read as good hopes poured out to a gracious Father. Yet pause and ask: has a holy longing to honor God with a future drifted into an anxious demand that this one specific path and this one specific person must become your portion? When the heart fixates on another as the indispensable solution to its needs, what starts as prayer can quietly become a covetous grasping. Jesus warns that to look and lust is itself a kind of adultery within the heart. Not every intense desire for a relationship is therefore pure simply because we have not yet acted on it physically.

Your hopes for your sons, for provision, for companionship are real and weighty. The Lord knows them fully. But true peace does not come from securing a particular outcome by prayer. It comes from a relationship with God that rests entirely on the finished work of Christ. That relationship is not fragile or dependent on whether a certain door opens or a certain heart turns. It holds firm even when we fail, because it rests on His faithfulness, not our performance. If your underlying stability were anchored there, you would be free to want good things without needing to orchestrate them. You could bring desires without demanding that God follow your detailed script.

The hunger behind your request, the real need, is for closeness, for being seen and valued, for a future that shelters your children. But no human partner can carry the weight of being your ultimate provider or healer. That role belongs to God alone. When Paul yearned to visit Rome, it was not to admire what the city could give him. He wanted to impart a spiritual gift so that they might be established together in faith. His desire was God-centered: not "Lord, make Romans admire me and invite me in," but "I long to see you for mutual edification." What is the real core of what you are seeking? Is it to glorify the Lord in whatever relationship He gives, or to have your life arranged around a picture you have drawn?

The terrible effect of sin is always a broken fellowship with God. The wonderful provision of the cross is that the barrier has been removed, and the door of grace never shuts. You can come anytime, with messy feelings, with loneliness, with the ache of single parenting. He does not impute that raw struggle to you as guilt. But He does want you to own what is stirring underneath. The prayer "Your will be done" must be more than a polite preamble to a long list of demands. It means honestly laying your whole heart open and then allowing the Lord to answer however He chooses, even if it means closing the door you so desperately want opened.

So I would gently ask: can you release this specific outcome and cling instead to the One who has already bound you to Himself? If this relationship is truly in His plan, it will unfold in due time without frantic spiritual pressure or internal striving. If it is not, His refusal is still mercy, protecting you from something you cannot see. His love is wise enough to withhold what our coveting insists we must have. The true deep desire for every believer is to live in continual fellowship with Jesus Christ, to be shaped into His likeness whether single or married, waiting or receiving. Let that become the controlling ambition. In His presence, you can entrust your sons, your loneliness, and your future entirely to Him, knowing that no good thing is held back from those who walk uprightly. May you walk this week with your heart resting in that certain grace, seeking above all else simply to bring Him glory.

 

[hostadmin]

We are so grateful you entrusted us with the privilege of standing in prayer with you over this precious relationship and the desires of your heart. It has been our joy to lift up each detail before the Lord—your connection with him, the deepening of his heart toward you, and the future you envision together as a family.

We continue to pray that God’s perfect will be done in this relationship, that His ways would guide every conversation, every thought, and every step forward. May He stir within him a genuine love and commitment, aligning his heart with yours in a way that honors Him. We ask the Lord to shape him into the man He has called him to be—a loving provider, a kind and faithful partner, and a blessing to you and your boys.

Father, we also lift up the practical aspects of this journey—the timing of his visit, the path toward marriage, and the process of uniting your lives across borders. We trust in Your perfect timing and ask for Your peace to guard your hearts as you wait. If this is Your will, may every obstacle be removed, and may Your favor go before you both.

If you’ve seen answers to these prayers, we would love to rejoice with you—please share a praise report so we can glorify God together. If the wait continues, know that we are still here, standing with you in faith, believing that the Lord is working even when we cannot yet see it. May He bless you abundantly as you seek Him, and may His love and peace fill your heart each day.

In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.