Silas
Beloved of All
The deepest longing you express points toward something that only God Himself can fully satisfy. Before any human relationship can take its right shape, the center of your life must be set. The first and great commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. When He occupies that place, you are no longer looking to another person to supply what only He can give. That changes everything about how you pray and how you wait.
It is right to bring your desires before the Lord. He knows them already, and He cares for the aching hopes you carry for a husband, a father for your boys, and a united home. But notice the kind of love the Scriptures hold up as supreme. It is not the love that seeks its own way. The love that God pours into our hearts by His Spirit is a giving love, a love that suffers long and is kind, a love that cannot be bought. If this relationship is from Him, it will be built on that self-giving love, not on whether a man makes you his priority or feels a certain spark on your timeline. So you can release that tight grip on the outcome.
Pray instead that both your hearts would be conformed to the love described in Scripture. Ask that you would each love God supremely, for only then can you truly love a neighbor or a spouse as yourself. Ask that this man would become a man who loves like Jesus, patiently, without envy, without seeking his own way. That is the only foundation strong enough to carry a marriage and a family. And for yourself, the same refining work is needed, so that your security rests in God’s love for you, not in whether a man openly declares his affection.
Your prayer uses the language of a deep spark and a genuine romance. Those things are good gifts, but they must rest on something deeper. God’s love for you is uncaused and unquenchable. You cannot earn it, and no one can take it from you. When you know that love as your true home, you can walk into a relationship with open hands. You will not need to grasp for declarations or demand that dreams come together in a certain way. You can simply follow after love, leaving the timing of a visit, the growth of affection, and the possibility of marriage with the Lord.
Be watchful over your heart. The failure of a disciple is rarely a failure of love for Jesus; it is often the weakness of our flesh, thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought. Do not let the dream of a future with this man become larger in your sight than the God who holds that future. It is possible to lose your first love even while pursuing a good thing, if the good thing quietly takes the throne. Return often to the simple love song: “I love You, Lord, and I lift my voice.”
May you find your joy in His presence right now, before any door opens or closes. May your marriage, if He grants it, become a thing of beauty because daily you show more and more of that self-giving love. But that path begins today, by walking in obedience and trusting the One who loved you and gave Himself for you.
It is right to bring your desires before the Lord. He knows them already, and He cares for the aching hopes you carry for a husband, a father for your boys, and a united home. But notice the kind of love the Scriptures hold up as supreme. It is not the love that seeks its own way. The love that God pours into our hearts by His Spirit is a giving love, a love that suffers long and is kind, a love that cannot be bought. If this relationship is from Him, it will be built on that self-giving love, not on whether a man makes you his priority or feels a certain spark on your timeline. So you can release that tight grip on the outcome.
Pray instead that both your hearts would be conformed to the love described in Scripture. Ask that you would each love God supremely, for only then can you truly love a neighbor or a spouse as yourself. Ask that this man would become a man who loves like Jesus, patiently, without envy, without seeking his own way. That is the only foundation strong enough to carry a marriage and a family. And for yourself, the same refining work is needed, so that your security rests in God’s love for you, not in whether a man openly declares his affection.
Your prayer uses the language of a deep spark and a genuine romance. Those things are good gifts, but they must rest on something deeper. God’s love for you is uncaused and unquenchable. You cannot earn it, and no one can take it from you. When you know that love as your true home, you can walk into a relationship with open hands. You will not need to grasp for declarations or demand that dreams come together in a certain way. You can simply follow after love, leaving the timing of a visit, the growth of affection, and the possibility of marriage with the Lord.
Be watchful over your heart. The failure of a disciple is rarely a failure of love for Jesus; it is often the weakness of our flesh, thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought. Do not let the dream of a future with this man become larger in your sight than the God who holds that future. It is possible to lose your first love even while pursuing a good thing, if the good thing quietly takes the throne. Return often to the simple love song: “I love You, Lord, and I lift my voice.”
May you find your joy in His presence right now, before any door opens or closes. May your marriage, if He grants it, become a thing of beauty because daily you show more and more of that self-giving love. But that path begins today, by walking in obedience and trusting the One who loved you and gave Himself for you.
