You have spread your desires before the throne with an open hand, and that is well, yet take heed lest the hand close too tightly upon the thing sought, for the will of God, and not the will of man, is the hinge upon which all blessing turns. You pray that a certain heart might be turned toward you, that affection might spring up as a spark and be fanned into flame, but remember that the heart is a citadel which no human battering can breach. The Spirit alone works to will and to do of His good pleasure, and He does it not by forcing affections as a potter presses clay, but by that sweet persuasion which makes the soul delight to choose what God ordains. Therefore, rather than beseeching heaven to shape another’s will to your comfort, first kneel down and plead, “Lord, write Your law upon my own heart; let me be wholly betrothed to Christ in righteousness and in judgment and in lovingkindness. Then, if an earthly union be among Your covenant blessings, shape it according to Your will, and shape me according to Your will in the waiting.”
The relationship of marriage is not one of birth, but a new and sacred bond, and no power beneath the sun can forge it rightly but the hand that made Eve and brought her to Adam. That hand knows the hour and the manner. Your wistful cry, “Make me his priority,” trembles with the ache of a soul that would snatch the season before it ripens. Is Christ Himself not your all? Is His heart not a fountain from which no soul that trusts Him has ever been cast away? Sink or swim, cling to Him! If you are in Christ, you have a Husband whose heart is toward you with an everlasting love, and He will not suffer you to starve while He feasts. Lie back upon that ocean of mercy, and let the waves bear you where they will; the Lord who put it into your heart to pray will perfect that which concerns you.
When we speak of God’s will about the future, we walk on holy ground. It is written, “You ought to say, If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” But how quickly we slide from “If the Lord wills” into a shopping list of desires, telling the Almighty what must be done for your happiness. Your plans for marriage, for a petition, for a united family, these are no small matters, but the God who writes His law upon the heart has a time and a way that exceed your narrow window. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. To stand still until the cloudy, fiery pillar moves is the highest wisdom. What if He means to give you something better? What if He means to give you Himself in such measure that an earthly love, should it come, will be the moon reflecting the sun, and not the sun itself?
Beware of the leaven of unbelief that whispers, “I must have an answer now; I must see the spark ignite before I can rest.” The man who laughs and boasts, “I will propose and I will also dispose,” has built a nest in the cinders. The Lord’s way with His beloved is often to wean them from the visible and to write the covenant deep in their inward parts so that they can say, “Though the fig tree does not blossom, yet I will rejoice in the Lord.” It is a greater miracle to have the law written on your heart than to have a name written on a marriage certificate. Seek first the kingdom, and let these other things be added or withheld as your heavenly Father deems best.
I see in your plea the tender concern for your boys and for a provider’s heart, and these are desires that find sympathy in the Lord who is the Father of the fatherless. Yet remember that He is their Guardian, and the source of all provision is His heart, not the hand of a man. Rest your boys upon the Covenant God; He says, “I will be to them a God, and they shall be to Me a people.” That is a richer portion than any stepfather can convey. And for yourself, do not think that your value hangs upon being seen by a creature. In Christ, you are already prized beyond rubies, and the Father delights in those who hope in His mercy. Let your prayer be less a rose-petal list of ideal qualities to be stirred in another, and more a calm submission: “Lord, if this cup may pass from me, nevertheless not my will but Yours be done. Only let Your law be in my mind, and Your love upon my heart, and I will walk in Your ways come sunshine or come shadow.”
When you say, “Openly and out loud declares his love for me,” I would whisper: let the open declaration be to Christ first. Believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, and confess Him with your mouth. That confession alone brings salvation, and it is the root from which every other wholesome affection must grow. A man who will not first declare Christ may make a poor partner for a daughter of the King. Trust the Lord to sift the suitors; He knows where the true fire burns.
Go now to your chamber and take up these words: “They shall be My people, and I will be their God.” Turn them over in your mind until the peace of God settles over your heart like a blanket over a sleeping child. He who gave His Son for you will not withhold any good thing if you walk uprightly. But if the good thing you seek would entangle you, or become an idol, or draw you from the simplicity of devotion to Christ, infinite love may deny it. Do not kick against the goads, but let the plow of the Spirit break up the fallow ground of your heart, watering its ridges, until faith springs up green and patient and full of corn. The Lord takes pleasure in you if you have only begun to fear Him; He will perfect that which concerns you, not by your scheming but by His own almighty grace.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
