Violetblue
Faithful Servant
Please continue to pray for any relief that God may grant me. I struggle every moment from enduring over 55 years of PTSD, depression and anxiety. Please don’t suggest medication and counseling; I have tried all that for years and I’m not any better. I depend on prayers and that God may be merciful granting me peace and comfort. This has been an unbearable existence - as hard as I have tried to make the best of my life, I feel as though I am constantly grieving; a continual mourning that has no end. I feel like I have been thrown down to the ground and I keep getting kicked, repeatedly. I know that life is going to have its ups and downs but nothing ever gets better. It’s a continual darkness and unending despair. To add to my depression, my friend was having some financial problems and I haven’t had any contact with him in over 3 months. In fact, nobody has been able to get in contact with him. I am genuinely concerned and have prayed for his wellbeing and for him to make contact with me. There has been nothing but silence - same with all my prayers - nothing but a deafening silence. I would feel so much relief to hear from my friend. And then to add to all this, I am in desperate need of a decent, affordable home. I rent from a slumlord who treats me awful, is mentally and verbally abusive, constantly wants more money out of me and doesn’t bother to fix things, despite the fact I am a reliable, trustworthy tenant and I always pay on time, he uses my money for everything but my place….and now he hasn’t paid his house payment in over 5 months so it’s in foreclosure (we’re on the same property, my little shack has been paid for long ago); so, I have to find a place to live. Right now I’m without hot water ( 2 days, so far) and have no idea how long this will go on. This slumlord has made me go without hot water many, many times, as well as countless times not having any water at all. This slumlord is toxic and has recently been threatening to shoot people. I don’t make a whole lot of money and can’t afford much of what’s available. I have been trying to get out of this dump for years but nothing works out. Many times, I find a place and someone gets a bid in before I have any chance or someone puts cash on the place - I can’t compete with cash. I keep looking and I keep trying. I really need better living conditions. I am beyond depressed - this is truly more than I can bear. The worst is I feel God has abandoned me - I am his daughter, how do you forget your child? I don’t even have children but I can’t imagine not helping or comforting my child if they were suffering. My life has been more than difficult and I am suffering immensely despite all my prayers. I truly feel my life has been a waste; I continually feel worthless. I don’t understand why God has found me unworthy of any peace, comfort, contentment, hope or happiness. I have an extremely hard time understanding that this suffering and hopelessness is what God had planned for my life. There wasn’t a better plan ?? Thank you for your prayers.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have.