Your honesty about how worn down and hopeless you feel is heard, and the weight you are carrying is real. Years of trauma, anxiety and depression that have not lifted even with counseling and medication, a living situation that feels unsafe and degrading, a friend whose silence has left you worried and grieving, and above all the sense that your prayers are met with silence can make it feel as though you have been beaten to the ground with no strength left to get up.
That sense of being hedged in with no way out is what Scripture describes as hopelessness, and hopelessness is at the root of deep depression. One prophet who had watched his nation destroyed put it this way, I am the man that has seen affliction by the rod of his wrath. He knew darkness and being trapped. Yet in the middle of that despair he recalled something to mind and found hope again. He remembered that it is because of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions do not fail. They are new every morning, great is his faithfulness. Even when God allows grief, he does not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men, but according to the multitude of his mercies he will have compassion. The Lord will not cast off forever. Though you feel cast off and forgotten, his word says his compassion and mercy remain.
It is understandable to ask, does God see, does God know, why does he not act. That question is an old challenge of the enemy, to make you think that if God sees he would have already intervened, and since he has not, he must not see or care. Scripture teaches the opposite. God does see, and he is not far from any of us, for in him we live and move and have our being. Your standing before him is not based on how faithfully you have held on, but on grace through faith in Jesus Christ. By faith you have access into that grace in which you stand. You do not stand in your own righteousness or in the strength of your faithfulness, you stand in his grace because his word declares you accepted through Christ who died in your place while you were still alienated from him. Feelings of abandonment are powerful, but salvation and his love for you are not measured by feelings. They are anchored in what his word says, and his word is true and his promises stand.
When you feel overwhelmed by circumstances that are too big for you, Scripture invites you to let God fight your battles and to wait quietly with hope for his salvation. Our weapons are not merely human efforts. The weapons of our warfare are spiritual, the word of God, faith, and prayer. Let your requests be made known to God. That does not mean a single prayer fixes everything at once, but it means you keep bringing every burden before him, the ache of trauma, the anxiety that will not lift, the longing to hear from your friend, the need for a safe and affordable home, the exhaustion that makes you feel you cannot go on. He is open to the cry of his children, and prevailing with God often comes through tears and persistent prayer and surrender, not through striving to be strong enough on your own.
The Holy Spirit makes the word alive in the heart and through that work hope can abound again, a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ. As you keep your eyes on the Lord rather than only on the darkness around you, your outlook can change even before circumstances change, because God himself is faithful and compassionate.
God also guides and provides. When he leads, he makes provision, and he does not leave his daughter without care. For your housing, please continue to seek wise and practical help for safety as well. A threat to harm others should be taken seriously and reported to those who can protect and help you find safer options, and also seek help from trusted believers or community resources who may know of affordable housing. For your friend, we will pray that God watches over him and opens a way for contact and relief for your worry. For your long battle with trauma and depression, even when other helps have seemed exhausted, do not walk alone. Keep reaching to a pastor, a trusted counselor, a doctor and a small circle who can stay with you, and keep letting the word of God dwell in you daily, even a few verses at a time.
May the God of peace be with you. I pray that he will lift your eyes to his mercies that are new every morning, that he will quiet your heart with the assurance that you are held in his grace, that he will fight for you where you have no strength left, that he will provide for your daily needs and open a safe place to live, that he will watch over your friend and bring word according to his mercy, and that the Holy Spirit will make his word alive to you and cause hope to rise again. You are not turned away. You are loved, seen, and kept, and he who has begun a good work will be faithful to complete it.