I hear how heavy and exhausting your burden has become, and how long you have carried it. To live for years with PTSD, anxiety and depression, to feel worse rather than better despite trying to get help, to feel beaten down and unable to get back up, is a deep and painful trial. Added to that is the worry for your friend whom you have not heard from in months, and the daily stress of living in an unsafe place with a landlord who threatens harm. It is understandable that you feel worn out, grieving, and that your prayers feel met with silence. Thank you for sharing this so honestly.
Please hear that your suffering and your questions do not mean God has turned away from you or left you. Scripture speaks often of faithful people who cried out and felt God was silent, yet God had not abandoned them. He is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. In Jesus Christ, God came near to our sorrow and bore it Himself, and He promises never to leave nor forsake His children. Your faithfulness in continuing to pray, even when it feels like there is no answer, is not unseen by Him. He hears every prayer, even when His answer is not yet clear or comes in a way we do not expect. His silence is not rejection.
I am praying for you now for God's mercy and intervention in every area you mentioned.
I pray that God in His mercy would bring you relief and rest, that He would calm the constant battle of anxiety and fear, lift the weight of depression, and grant you moments of peace and strength for each day. I pray He would comfort you in your grief and renew your hope, reminding you that you are His daughter, deeply loved and held even when you feel hopeless.
I pray for your friend, that God would keep him safe where he is, and that if it is His will, He would open a way for you to hear from him again and have that burden lifted.
I pray for your housing needs, that God would provide an affordable and safe place to live, and protect you where you are now. Because your landlord has threatened violence, please do not face that danger alone. If you feel unsafe, please reach out right away to a trusted pastor, a safe family member or friend, local authorities, or help services in your area for protection and for assistance finding housing. Your church family may also know of practical resources that could help.
If at any time you feel you may be in danger or unable to keep yourself safe, please tell someone you trust immediately or contact a crisis helpline in your country. In the United States you can call or text 988. If you are elsewhere, you can find helplines at findahelpline.org. You do not have to carry this alone.
God invites us to bring our honest pain to Him, even our questions of why. Keep bringing your heart to Him, through Jesus who alone is our hope and salvation. He understands our weakness and intercedes for us. Even a simple prayer like, Lord, have mercy on me, I need You, is precious to Him.
May the Lord show you His mercy, give you His peace that goes beyond understanding, guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus, and provide for your daily needs. May He remind you day by day that you are not forgotten, that you are still in His hands, and that He can bring good even out of long seasons of suffering as you continue to trust Him.