Silas
Beloved of All
Your honesty and your love for Jesus come through so clearly, and thank you for sharing so openly about what you have carried. You have given faithfully, you have served freely, you have prayed in secret and obeyed what you believed the Lord was asking, and you have also endured harsh attacks in your mind, harsh words from others, and the weariness that comes when needs for health, for a home, for work and provision, for safety for your mom and your three children and your pets, have gone unmet for a long time. It is understandable that you feel spent and that you are longing for a season of peace and harmony and for the chance to simply live a normal, stable life and to care for yourself.
Jesus is not an impersonal energy but a living Savior, the Son of the Father, and through His blood peace with God is made possible. Scripture always puts grace before peace, because we cannot know the settled peace of God in our hearts until we have first received the grace of God through Jesus. When we have peace with God, then we can begin to experience the peace of God, that deep inner rest that guards our minds and hearts even while trouble is still around us.
The Bible says God will keep in perfect peace the one whose mind is stayed on Him, because that person trusts in Him. That promise speaks directly to the mental attacks and the chaos and the sense of being robbed that you describe. You do not have to take every assault from the enemy. You can refuse those attacks, stand in the power of the Holy Spirit that God has given, and use the spiritual weapons He provides, and then rejoice that He is your strength. The Lord is faithful. He will establish you and keep you from evil. He sees the malicious words spoken against you, the jealousy and the judging from unreasonable people, and He will deal righteously with all of that. For those who are troubled, Scripture gives this rest, that the Lord Jesus will be revealed from heaven with His mighty angels, and that God will wipe away tears and swallow up death in victory.
It is also good that you want to pray in secret again. Jesus Himself taught us to pray to the Father in secret, and the Father who sees in secret will reward openly. Praying quietly in your mind before the Lord is a beautiful and biblical place of communion, and it can be a shelter from those who have watched and criticized.
You mentioned giving until you had nothing left and feeling that everything you did was taken, and now wanting to set aside false burdens and take care of yourself and have your basic needs met as any person should. There is wisdom from above that is peaceable, and it helps us discern the difference between true service and burdens that are not from God. The fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. Learning to sow in peace means learning to walk in godly wisdom that brings peace to your own soul first, and then allows you to love others well. Loving others remains the mark that we have passed from death to life, for we know we have passed from death to life because we love the brothers and sisters in Christ, but love does not require destroying yourself. God does not ask you to live under constant sickness, exhaustion, and lack in order to prove your devotion.
Concerning health and provision, the apostle John wrote to a dear friend that he wished above all that he would prosper and be in good health even as his soul prospered. That is a beautiful prayer, and we can pray it for you, that your body would be strengthened and your practical needs for a home, for work, for daily provision would be met, even as your soul continues to prosper in Christ. It is not a guarantee that faith will bring a specific business or vehicle or other desire, but it is a true reflection of God's caring heart that He wants to ordain peace for you and to preserve you from evil as you trust Him.
You said you have no close friends and no husband yet and that you are content to be taken with the Lord Jesus. That devotion is precious, and God honors a heart that chooses Him. Marriage, when God gives it, is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and until then, walking faithfully with Jesus and waiting on Him is a holy and good path. You do not need to chase relationships to be whole.
May the Lord today lift from you what was never yours to carry, and may He establish your steps. Praying for you that grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ will rest upon you in truth and love, that your mind will be stayed on Him and kept in perfect peace, that you will be delivered from harmful people and kept from evil, that your health will be renewed, that your needs for home and work will be provided in His timing, and that you will know deep, quiet communion with Jesus in secret prayer, with the assurance that the war is over in your heart because you belong to Him. You have done your best to honor Him, and He sees it. Rest in His faithfulness now and let Him carry you.
In the name and through the blood of Jesus we ask this.
Jesus is not an impersonal energy but a living Savior, the Son of the Father, and through His blood peace with God is made possible. Scripture always puts grace before peace, because we cannot know the settled peace of God in our hearts until we have first received the grace of God through Jesus. When we have peace with God, then we can begin to experience the peace of God, that deep inner rest that guards our minds and hearts even while trouble is still around us.
The Bible says God will keep in perfect peace the one whose mind is stayed on Him, because that person trusts in Him. That promise speaks directly to the mental attacks and the chaos and the sense of being robbed that you describe. You do not have to take every assault from the enemy. You can refuse those attacks, stand in the power of the Holy Spirit that God has given, and use the spiritual weapons He provides, and then rejoice that He is your strength. The Lord is faithful. He will establish you and keep you from evil. He sees the malicious words spoken against you, the jealousy and the judging from unreasonable people, and He will deal righteously with all of that. For those who are troubled, Scripture gives this rest, that the Lord Jesus will be revealed from heaven with His mighty angels, and that God will wipe away tears and swallow up death in victory.
It is also good that you want to pray in secret again. Jesus Himself taught us to pray to the Father in secret, and the Father who sees in secret will reward openly. Praying quietly in your mind before the Lord is a beautiful and biblical place of communion, and it can be a shelter from those who have watched and criticized.
You mentioned giving until you had nothing left and feeling that everything you did was taken, and now wanting to set aside false burdens and take care of yourself and have your basic needs met as any person should. There is wisdom from above that is peaceable, and it helps us discern the difference between true service and burdens that are not from God. The fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. Learning to sow in peace means learning to walk in godly wisdom that brings peace to your own soul first, and then allows you to love others well. Loving others remains the mark that we have passed from death to life, for we know we have passed from death to life because we love the brothers and sisters in Christ, but love does not require destroying yourself. God does not ask you to live under constant sickness, exhaustion, and lack in order to prove your devotion.
Concerning health and provision, the apostle John wrote to a dear friend that he wished above all that he would prosper and be in good health even as his soul prospered. That is a beautiful prayer, and we can pray it for you, that your body would be strengthened and your practical needs for a home, for work, for daily provision would be met, even as your soul continues to prosper in Christ. It is not a guarantee that faith will bring a specific business or vehicle or other desire, but it is a true reflection of God's caring heart that He wants to ordain peace for you and to preserve you from evil as you trust Him.
You said you have no close friends and no husband yet and that you are content to be taken with the Lord Jesus. That devotion is precious, and God honors a heart that chooses Him. Marriage, when God gives it, is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and until then, walking faithfully with Jesus and waiting on Him is a holy and good path. You do not need to chase relationships to be whole.
May the Lord today lift from you what was never yours to carry, and may He establish your steps. Praying for you that grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ will rest upon you in truth and love, that your mind will be stayed on Him and kept in perfect peace, that you will be delivered from harmful people and kept from evil, that your health will be renewed, that your needs for home and work will be provided in His timing, and that you will know deep, quiet communion with Jesus in secret prayer, with the assurance that the war is over in your heart because you belong to Him. You have done your best to honor Him, and He sees it. Rest in His faithfulness now and let Him carry you.
In the name and through the blood of Jesus we ask this.
