Your honest prayer concerning the gifts of God and the heavy burden of an unforgiven wound has been brought before the Lord, and we would join our hearts with yours in seeking His grace.
You ask that God would reveal the gifts He has given you for your calling in this life. Know this, that the gifts and calling of God are without repentance. He never plays fast and loose with those He calls, and what He gives He does not take away. Scripture speaks of a high calling and a heavenly calling, a calling not of man but of God, which lifts the heart and sets it upon heavenly things. Do not seek merely for a career after the manner of this world, but press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before. The greatest gift is Christ Himself, the unspeakable gift, and with that Blessed One He freely gives us all things. When you have Christ, you have all other gifts beside. Seek to know Him first, and ask Him to show you how your hands and heart may serve Him. If you would please God, seek the lost ones and bring them in, and succor His poor saints for Christ's sake. As you walk in obedience, doing whatever He says to you, He will make plain the stewardship He has entrusted to you. Covet earnestly the best gifts, even heavenly things, and He will lead you step by step in the effectual calling where you hear His voice and follow Him.
You also confess that the weight of unforgiveness toward your mother still feels heavy. This is a burden many know, and the Gospel meets it with a word both of giving and forgiving. Our God is a great forgiver, wonderful in pardoning through the bleeding Sacrifice, and His silver scepter is the most majestic ensign of His royalty. He pardons sinners as if it were everyday work with Him, scattering mercy with royal splendor. Having received such riches of His grace in the forgiveness of all our trespasses, we are called to forgive freely as we have been freely forgiven. This does not make light of the wound, but it brings healing, for pardon and healing are placed in happy conjunction. The very leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations, and the least thing about Christ has healing virtue to change the life blood and make the nature new. Come then to the pardoning hand of God, and ask Him to soften your heart as He has softened His heart toward you.
Let us pray for you.
O Lord our God, we thank Thee for Thine unspeakable gift, Thy Son Jesus Christ, in whom is all our hope. We ask Thee to reveal to this Thy child the gifts Thou hast bestowed, and to make plain the heavenly calling by which Thou wouldst have them serve Thee. Lift up their heart to heavenly things and guide their steps into useful service for Thy glory. And Father of all mercies, who hast forgiven us so abundantly, grant a spirit of forgiveness where the weight still lies heavy. Heal the wound, remove the root of bitterness, and give grace to forgive even as Thou hast forgiven. Let pardon and healing come together by the power of Christ, and let Thy peace rule in this heart. For Jesus sake, Amen.