Friendship

[Dhitlor]

Please pray for me about a previous coworker who I met earlier this year who reached out to me online after I left the job we worked on together. This person and I now talk almost every day. They are a professing believer but live a worldly life. I am concerned about being close to this person because of this and also because their personality toward me seems to switch negatively sometimes especially if something has happened in our friendship that may offend them (like if I can't talk on the phone with them on a particular day). Spiritual warfare may be behind this but it is causing me a lot of stress especially at the time in my life that I'm in right now. I really need friendships and people around me but I need the RIGHT kind (which I feel like I'm not getting no matter how hard I try even with a church home ). Please pray for me about this. Thank you.

 

[Articles]

We hear the burden in your heart and we join with you in bringing this friendship before the Lord in Jesus' name, seeking His wisdom and peace for you in this stressful season.

We understand your longing for genuine, godly friendships and your discernment about this coworker who now talks with you almost every day. You have wisely noticed that this person professes faith yet lives a worldly life, and that their attitude toward you can turn negative quickly when they feel offended, even over something small like not being able to talk on the phone. We affirm your concern, because Scripture calls us to look at fruit and to guard our hearts about who we allow close to us.

You, O Lord, knew we would need this warning, Don't be deceived! Evil companionships corrupt good morals. 1 Corinthians 15:33 and He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20. Even in friendship we are not to be unequally yoked, for what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. A professing believer who loves the world is living in contradiction to God's Word, for if anyone loves the world, the love of the Father isn't in him. 1 John 2:15, and friendship with the world is hostility toward God. James 4:4. We are not called to be harsh or judgmental, but we are called to be discerning, for you will know them by their fruits. Matthew 7:16. Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend's countenance. Proverbs 27:17. A true godly friendship should sharpen you toward Christ, not pull you toward worldliness, instability, or constant anxiety.

We also hear your sense that spiritual warfare may be behind the switching personality and the stress you feel, and we agree that we must see this rightly, for our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world's rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12. The enemy delights to use unhealthy soul ties, manipulation, and offense to keep you weary and distracted, especially when you are already in a difficult season of life. God does not want you living under that weight, for He says Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 and In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7.

We want to gently encourage you to set loving, biblical boundaries with this person. It is not unkind to not be available every day, and a healthy friend will respect that without punishing you with coldness or guilt. We are to speak truth in love and let our speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt. Ephesians 4:15, Colossians 4:6. If this friendship consistently leaves you feeling drained, anxious, or pressured to compromise your walk, we encourage you to prayerfully create distance and to seek counsel from a mature believer or pastor in your church home. Blessed is the man who doesn't walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand on the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers. Psalm 1:1. We know you have tried hard even within your church to find the right kind of friendships, and we encourage you not to give up. God places the lonely in families and He can provide the fellowship you need, but we must keep asking Him for wisdom, for if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him. James 1:5.

We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and peace with God. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved! Acts 4:12. If you have not already done so, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, for if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9. It is in His name we pray with confidence.

We pray together now for you.

Father in heaven, we lift our dear friend to You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. We thank You that You see their loneliness and their sincere desire for godly friendships that honor You. Lord, we ask You to grant clear discernment about this coworker friendship. Reveal the true fruit of this relationship and show whether it is drawing our friend closer to You or pulling them away. If this connection is not of You, give courage to set healthy boundaries and to step back in love without guilt or fear of man. Break off any spiritual heaviness, manipulation, or warfare that has been causing stress, and let Your peace guard their heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Heal the weariness of this season and remind them that You are near to the brokenhearted. Father, we ask You to provide the right kind of friendships, faithful brothers and sisters who walk wisely, speak truth, love sincerely, and sharpen them in faith. Lead them to deep fellowship within their church home or to another Bible believing community where they will be known, encouraged, and built up. Fill the lonely places with Your presence first, and then with godly companions. We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how heavy this has felt for you, wanting real friendship and community, talking almost every day with this former coworker, and at the same time feeling stressed when their tone toward you shifts if you can't be available or if something feels off between you. It makes sense you would feel torn and tired, especially when you have been trying hard, even in your church home, to find the right kind of friendships and it still feels thin.

Caring about someone does not mean you have to stay constantly available to keep the peace. A healthy friendship leaves room for both people to be honest about limits without punishment. One way we have seen people find clarity is to notice what happens in your own heart before and after you talk, do you feel more at peace or more anxious, and to give yourself permission to set a steadier pace. That might look like not answering every day, letting a no be a simple no without over-explaining, and having one calm, truthful conversation about what you need for the friendship to feel respectful.

It can also help to invite one wise and steady person who knows you at church to walk with you as you sort this out, not to fix it for you but to help you see the pattern more clearly and stay supported while you decide next steps.

Jesus, we lift our friend to You right now. You see their loneliness and their desire for good, faithful friendships. Give them wisdom, calm, and clear discernment about this relationship, guard their heart, and lead them to the right community where they are known and encouraged. Bring peace to this stressful season and guide each step in Your will. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your request has been received with care and your honesty before the Lord is appreciated. It is a painful place to be, to feel a deep need for friendship and companionship and yet to find that the relationships closest at hand bring stress rather than strength, and leave you feeling more alone than before.

The Lord knows this kind of loneliness. Our Savior Himself was left alone when as Man He most needed human sympathy, and He understands the sorrow of being without true fellowship. There are seasons when the child of God endures loneliness arising from the absence of godly society, even when surrounded by people, and seasons of deep soul conflict when faith itself must fight for its footing. You are not unseen in this.

You have described this friendship wisely. A person may profess faith and yet live a worldly life, and Scripture teaches us to look for the fruit that proves sincerity. Plain, holy, godly living is the evidence of a changed heart, more than words alone. The Lord has set apart him that is godly for Himself, and the godly are marked as reserved for Him, loving God and tracing all things to His hand, and proving it by a life of prayer and obedience. When a professing believer shows a pattern of worldliness and a temper that turns sharply when you cannot meet their expectations, it is right to be concerned. That pattern is not the gentle joy of true fellowship, and love does not require you to remain in a close, daily entanglement that consistently wounds your peace.

Spiritual warfare is real, and the enemy does work through discord and pressure, but wisdom also calls for clear boundaries in friendship. A friendship that demands your constant availability and punishes you with a change of spirit when you must say no is not a healthy or godly yoke. You are right to desire the right kind of friendships, and Scripture warns that close companions shape our character. The longing you feel for faithful friends is itself from the Lord, who has made us to walk together in holiness.

I would encourage you to take these steps before the Lord. First, bring this matter to a trusted pastor or mature believer in your church home who knows you, so you are not discerning this alone. Second, prayerfully create space and boundaries. Talking almost every day with someone whose life and responses unsettle you will keep you under strain. It is not unkind to limit contact, to not answer every call, and to explain gently that you must steward your time and peace before the Lord. Third, continue to press into your church family even when it feels slow or disappointing. Godly friendships often grow through steady, ordinary faithfulness, serving together, praying together, and opening the Word together, rather than through one intense connection. Seek those who love Christ plainly and live accordingly.

We will pray for you, and we pray not that God would simply bless this present closeness as it is, but that He would give you wisdom and peace.

Our Father, we lift this dear one to You in the name of Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have access and salvation. You see the loneliness and the stress of this hour, and You hear when the godly call upon You. Grant discernment to test what is sincere and what is not, courage to set needful boundaries in love, and grace to wait upon You for the right kind of friendships that will help and not hinder a holy walk. Work in the heart of this former coworker also, that any profession of faith would be made true by repentance and new life, and that Your will would be done in both lives. Set apart Your child more fully for Yourself, and provide faithful, godly companions who love You and will walk the good road together. Give rest to this troubled spirit and let prayer be the daily proof and comfort of Your nearness. Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Chrysostom]

Your request shows real discernment and a desire for friendships that honor God, and I am grateful you shared it so openly. The stress you feel is understandable, especially when you long for true community and find yourself in a connection that leaves you unsettled and drained.

Scripture teaches that the strongest friendships are not built on simply having worked together, or talking every day, or enjoying common interests. Even robbers and wrongdoers share that kind of closeness. A profitable friendship is one that helps both people move toward Christ and hinders what leads away from Him. Brother helped by brother becomes like a fortified city. When friendship is formed only on godliness and virtue, it remains steady through every change. When it is formed on other grounds, it quickly shifts, and can become more harmful than open enmity.

That is why love must abound not only in warmth but in knowledge and discernment. We owe love to all, yet we are called to approve the things that are excellent, to be sincere before God and without offense before others. To love someone does not mean to give that person unlimited access to your heart and time without wisdom. If a friendship consistently pulls you toward worldliness, or leaves you anxious because affection turns cold whenever you cannot meet a demand, that is a sign to step back and seek the Lord for clarity. We are told to live peaceably with all as far as it depends on us, but not to let a relationship harm our walk or cause others to stumble.

For this former coworker who professes faith yet lives in a worldly way, the most loving thing you can do is to pray for their genuine turning to Christ and to model a quiet, consistent faith that trembles at His word. You can be kind without being constantly available. It is right to set gentle but firm boundaries about how often you talk, when you are available, and what kind of conversation you will share. If the pattern of switching toward you negatively when offended continues, it is wise to limit the intimacy of the friendship and to seek counsel from a mature believer in your church who knows you personally.

Spiritual warfare is real, and the enemy seeks to isolate us or to tie us to relationships that drain our strength. Put on the protection God gives through prayer, the Word, and fellowship with believers who love virtue more than convenience. Continue to ask the Lord to provide the right kind of friendships, those rooted in shared faith and a desire for holiness, even if He provides them more slowly than you hoped. Keep investing in your church home, perhaps through a small group, service, or regular prayer with one or two faithful people, rather than searching for closeness wherever it is offered.

Let me pray for you. Father, I thank You for this child of Yours who desires friendships that are pure and pleasing to You. Grant wisdom and discernment to see what is excellent and to love with both grace and truth. Bring peace to the stress and guard the heart from confusion and fear. Work in the life of this former coworker, that profession of faith would become a lived faith marked by repentance and joy in obedience. And in Your mercy, provide faithful friends who will strengthen and be strengthened, who will help bear burdens and spur one another toward holiness until the day of Christ. Give patience in waiting and courage to walk in boundaries that honor You. In the name of Jesus, our only Savior, amen.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for sharing so honestly about this friendship and the stress it is bringing. Your desire for the right kind of friendships is itself a good and godly desire. God made us for fellowship, and He surrounds us with companionship for our good. When we turn away from godly influence toward what is unstable or worldly, it always leads us down a harder road.

It is right for you to be concerned about closeness with someone who professes faith in Jesus but lives in a worldly way. Scripture draws a clear line between profession and reality. There is a sorrow that is merely worldly, being sorry that there are consequences, but with no real change, and that kind of sorrow leads to death. There is a godly sorrow that leads to repentance, which means a true turning, a forsaking of sin, and a new life in Christ. If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. When there is no change, no carefulness, no turning away from what is wrong, it reveals a divided heart. The Bible speaks of those who speak with flattering lips and a double heart, and a double heart is always a problem. It is also true that when a person turns away from the Lord, discernment fades quickly.

That helps explain what you are experiencing. A friendship marked by warmth one day and a sharp negative switch the next, especially when you set a simple boundary like not being able to talk on the phone, is not the fruit of godly wisdom. The wisdom that comes from above is peaceable, gentle, and steady. What is earthly is often marked by envy, strife, and instability. It can feel like spiritual warfare, and there is a real battle for our minds and relationships, but there is also character and maturity to consider. A godly friend, even when disappointed, will respect your limits and esteem you above himself, learning to serve rather than to control.

You also mentioned feeling lonely even with a church home and trying hard to find the right people. That loneliness is painful, and it is important to know that godliness with contentment is great gain. Real riches are not found in having many contacts or constant daily talk, but in being content in Christ and walking with a few faithful, godly people. The Scripture says that those who live godly in Christ Jesus will face misunderstanding and even persecution, the world does not applaud a godly stand. So do not be discouraged if the faithful seem few. The faithful may seem scarce, but God still provides godly companionship for those who seek it.

For this specific friendship, it would be wise to step back and evaluate with Scripture and with mature believers you trust. Look for fruit over time, not just words. A professing believer who is willing to hear correction, who shows godly sorrow that leads to real change, who is consistent and peaceable, is very different from someone who remains worldly and reacts with offense when you cannot meet their expectations. You are not required to maintain daily, close intimacy that leaves you stressed and pulled away from peace. Love can be kind and prayerful while also having clear boundaries.

Pray for this person, that God would grant true repentance and a changed life, and pray for yourself for wisdom and discernment to walk in the way that leads to peace and righteousness. Ask the Lord to bring godly sorrow where it is needed, and to lead both of you into what is holy. Seek out those who love the Lord wholeheartedly, who will encourage you toward Christ, who know the Scriptures and live them, and invest more deeply there. Even one or two steady, godly friendships are a great heritage and blessing.

May the Lord give you clarity to see this relationship as it is, courage to set healthy boundaries in love, contentment in Him while you wait for deeper fellowship, and the peace that comes from sowing in peace and reaping righteousness. We are praying that He draws you close to Himself and surrounds you with the right companions who will help you grow in Christ.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer. We have continued to lift you up as you navigate this friendship with your former coworker that began after you left the job you shared and has grown into almost daily contact online.

We have prayed for wisdom and discernment for you as you weigh being close to someone who professes faith yet lives in a worldly way and whose attitude toward you can switch negatively when offended even over small things like not being able to talk on the phone on a particular day. We understand how stressful this has been especially in this sensitive season of your life and we have asked God to give you healthy boundaries and peace and to show you whether this relationship is helping you grow in Christ. We have also prayed against any spiritual warfare behind this stress and for the Lord to guard your heart and mind.

We know you shared that you deeply desire the right kind of friendships and people around you and that even with a church home you have struggled to find them no matter how hard you try. We have prayed that God will bring the right community around you who will encourage you and walk faithfully with you. Scripture reminds us that bad company corrupts good character in 1 Cor 15:33 and that iron sharpens iron in Prov 27:17 so we have asked God to surround you with friendships that sharpen and strengthen you and to give you wisdom as promised in James 1:5.

If your request was answered and God has brought clarity about this friendship or has provided the right community and peace, please post a praise report and let us all know so we can rejoice with you. If your request does not seem to have been answered and you still feel stress and uncertainty about this relationship and your need for godly community, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer.

May God bless you as you continue to seek him through his son Jesus Christ. We pray that he will comfort you and guide you with his peace and wisdom and provide the right friendships you need in Jesus Name.