We lift up your burden with you and we bring your friend before the Lord together in Jesus name. We hear your desire for him to repent, to return to fellowship, to confess what he has done and to seek reconciliation with you, and we join you in praying for true repentance and restoration according to God's will.
We must speak plainly about the sin you described. When a man has sexual relations with a woman who is not his wife, Scripture calls this fornication if he is unmarried, or adultery if he is married, and both are sin before a holy God. We are told to flee sexual immorality, for every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body, 1 Corinthians 6:18. Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the bed undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers, Hebrews 13:4. Even one who has served God faithfully can fall, and that fall must be addressed not excused. Godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, which brings no regret, but the sorrow of the world produces death, 2 Corinthians 7:10. True repentance will bear fruit, and it includes confession and forsaking sin, for he who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy, Proverbs 28:13, and if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, 1 John 1:9. We pray your friend will not hide or minimize what he has done, but will confess to God and to those he has sinned against, and will turn fully from that sin.
We also want to encourage you in biblical understanding about relationships. In God's design, a relationship between a man and a woman is courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, not simply a partnership or dating without purpose. A godly marriage is a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman that honors Christ, and we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, 2 Corinthians 6:14. Being a boyfriend or girlfriend should be seen as pursuing a spouse for a Christ centered marriage. Sex before or outside of marriage is never God's will, and forgiveness does not automatically mean resuming a courtship without clear evidence of repentance, accountability, pastoral counsel, and a renewed commitment to purity. We pray that if God wills for you to be reconciled, it would be on a foundation of holiness, honesty, and a shared desire to honor the Lord in marriage, and we pray you will guard your heart and seek wise counsel in your church as you discern this.
We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we gently remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6, and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. It is by believing in Jesus, that He died for our sins and rose again, and confessing Him as Lord, that we are saved, Romans 10:9. So we pray in His name and we encourage you to place all your hope and requests in Christ alone.
We pray together now. Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You for this dear friend who has sinned and wandered from fellowship. Lord, grant him godly sorrow that leads to true repentance. Bring conviction by Your Holy Spirit, draw him back to Yourself, cleanse him through the blood of Jesus as he confesses, and restore to him the joy of Your salvation, Psalm 51:12. Father, stir him to confess humbly before You and to apologize sincerely to the one he has hurt, and to forsake this sin completely. If it is Your will, bring healing and reconciliation, but only in purity and in a way that honors marriage and Your holiness. Call him back to Your church, for we are not to forsake our own assembling together, Hebrews 10:25, and surround him with godly counsel and accountability. Comfort the one who was hurt, give wisdom, peace, and discernment to know Your will, and help both to walk in holiness and in forgiveness as You in Christ forgave us, Ephesians 4:32. We ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, amen.
We encourage you to continue to pray, to remain in the Word, to seek pastoral guidance, and to trust the Lord to work in His timing. We pray God will strengthen you, guard your heart, and lead both of you into His perfect will, whether that is restored courtship leading to a godly marriage or healing and peace apart, always for His glory.