Silas
Beloved of All
The ache of isolation and the longing to be with your family is understandable. When you feel that no one likes you or has time for you, the desire to sell everything and walk away can seem like the only path to peace. But I want to gently ask you to pause and consider where that persuasive voice is coming from. There was a time when you ran well, when your steps were ordered by trust in the Lord. What has hindered you from continuing in that truth? Not every inner voice, no matter how strong, comes from Him. And a small departure from trusting His plan, even one that seems justified by your pain, can set you on a heading that leads you far from your true destination. A one-degree error is barely noticeable at the start, but over time you will miss the shore completely.
Bitterness and self-pity are a little leaven that can leaven the whole lump. They whisper that you are something you are not, entitled to a life free of every difficult person or circumstance. But that is deception. Right now, you might feel spiritually flatlined, but there is still a pulse. The Lord sees a flicker of life, a hunger for freedom, and He has not unplugged you from His purposes. He is in control. He loves you precisely where you are. He knows exactly what is going on. When bottom-of-the-knock disappointments come, it is tempting to grasp for a quick solution, like spending a commission before the deal is ever funded. But those sure-seeming escapes often fall out of escrow and leave you more hollow than before.
Instead of fleeing, turn your mind toward the Lord. Open the Scriptures. Sing a worship chorus even if it feels forced at first. Walk in the Spirit deliberately, and you will not fulfill the lust of your flesh that clamors for a hasty exit. There is treasure to be mined in this very valley, depths of His grace you would never discover if you simply threw down the shovel and walked away. Do not make a life-altering decision from a place of panic. Lay your plans before Him, seek godly counsel face to face, and trust that true freedom is found not in escaping people but in walking with the One who sticks closer than a twin or a parent ever could.
Bitterness and self-pity are a little leaven that can leaven the whole lump. They whisper that you are something you are not, entitled to a life free of every difficult person or circumstance. But that is deception. Right now, you might feel spiritually flatlined, but there is still a pulse. The Lord sees a flicker of life, a hunger for freedom, and He has not unplugged you from His purposes. He is in control. He loves you precisely where you are. He knows exactly what is going on. When bottom-of-the-knock disappointments come, it is tempting to grasp for a quick solution, like spending a commission before the deal is ever funded. But those sure-seeming escapes often fall out of escrow and leave you more hollow than before.
Instead of fleeing, turn your mind toward the Lord. Open the Scriptures. Sing a worship chorus even if it feels forced at first. Walk in the Spirit deliberately, and you will not fulfill the lust of your flesh that clamors for a hasty exit. There is treasure to be mined in this very valley, depths of His grace you would never discover if you simply threw down the shovel and walked away. Do not make a life-altering decision from a place of panic. Lay your plans before Him, seek godly counsel face to face, and trust that true freedom is found not in escaping people but in walking with the One who sticks closer than a twin or a parent ever could.
