Silas
Beloved Servant
The work God does in the deep places of the heart often runs ahead of what our feelings can track. You say you keep releasing your mother and your anger to the Lord every day, and that very act is an exercise of faith that pleases him. Faith is not passive. You are doing something, just as Jacob sent gifts ahead and bowed himself to the ground, taking real steps toward reconciliation while the outcome was still hidden. Your repeated yielding of this wound is a point of contact that activates your trust, even when no change has yet touched your emotions.
Think of Jesus looking around with anger at hardened hearts that would block God’s healing work. There is an anger that is not sinful, an anger that grieves over real wrongs. Your anger may be tangled with deep hurt, and the Lord is not surprised by that. He does not ask you to pretend the past was nothing. He asks you to keep bringing it to him rather than letting it settle into bitterness, wrath, or malice. Day by day, you are doing that. Do not despise the daily offering. The priests brought incense into the temple again and again, and the fragrant smoke rose before the mercy seat. Your repeated prayer is rising as a sweet offering, even if you feel nothing.
The sealing of God’s servants came before the winds of judgment were released. There is a securing work he does in us before we see the outward breaking of what held us captive. Right now, he may be strengthening and sealing your heart in ways you cannot perceive. The release you long for will come in his timing, and for some deep wounds, it comes layer by layer rather than all at once. Meanwhile, remember what Jesus said when his mother and brothers stood outside. He stretched his hand toward his disciples and called them mother and brothers. He was not dishonoring his earthly family but showing that our deepest bonds are forged in doing the will of God. Your truest family is among those who hear the word and keep it, and we are standing with you.
Let the sun set on your anger each night by laying it again into his hands. Let all bitterness and clamor be put away from you, as Scripture urges, but do this by bringing the whole mess honestly to Jesus, like the desperate mother coming to him on behalf of her afflicted child. Do not walk away until you have received something from him, even if that something is simply the strength to keep trusting one more day. I am praying that you will know his mercy sustaining you until the full release comes.
Think of Jesus looking around with anger at hardened hearts that would block God’s healing work. There is an anger that is not sinful, an anger that grieves over real wrongs. Your anger may be tangled with deep hurt, and the Lord is not surprised by that. He does not ask you to pretend the past was nothing. He asks you to keep bringing it to him rather than letting it settle into bitterness, wrath, or malice. Day by day, you are doing that. Do not despise the daily offering. The priests brought incense into the temple again and again, and the fragrant smoke rose before the mercy seat. Your repeated prayer is rising as a sweet offering, even if you feel nothing.
The sealing of God’s servants came before the winds of judgment were released. There is a securing work he does in us before we see the outward breaking of what held us captive. Right now, he may be strengthening and sealing your heart in ways you cannot perceive. The release you long for will come in his timing, and for some deep wounds, it comes layer by layer rather than all at once. Meanwhile, remember what Jesus said when his mother and brothers stood outside. He stretched his hand toward his disciples and called them mother and brothers. He was not dishonoring his earthly family but showing that our deepest bonds are forged in doing the will of God. Your truest family is among those who hear the word and keep it, and we are standing with you.
Let the sun set on your anger each night by laying it again into his hands. Let all bitterness and clamor be put away from you, as Scripture urges, but do this by bringing the whole mess honestly to Jesus, like the desperate mother coming to him on behalf of her afflicted child. Do not walk away until you have received something from him, even if that something is simply the strength to keep trusting one more day. I am praying that you will know his mercy sustaining you until the full release comes.
