Your honest prayer has been heard and I thank you for sharing it so openly. You are carrying a heavy burden, fear for your home and deep love and responsibility for your elderly mother, and you are trying to remain steady while feeling afraid. God sees that fear and that care.

You began by asking Jesus Christ to forgive your sins, and that is the right place to begin. Scripture teaches that God has made one provision for forgiveness and for putting away guilt, and that is through His only begotten Son. It is through Jesus alone that we have forgiveness, and the Holy Spirit bears witness to our hearts that when we confess and turn to Him, we are cleansed. You do not need another mediator. You can come directly to Him in Jesus name and rest in the assurance that He hears and forgives.

You also spoke of being scared. Fear is a common and powerful enemy of faith. When our eyes are fixed on the threat, on the lack, on what might happen, fear grows. When our eyes are lifted to the Lord and we remember who He is and that He is with us, fear loses its hold. The Scripture says, do not fear, for I am with you. That presence is the answer to fear. As David said, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Fear and faith cannot rule the heart at the same time. Where faith in God is strengthened, fear must leave, and where fear is allowed to take over, faith is weakened. Satan often uses fear and discouragement to paralyze us, but remembering the Lord, His power, His love, His nearness, is the cure.

The Bible also speaks of another kind of fear, the fear of the Lord, which is very different from being afraid. This fear is reverent awe before God, a deep respect for who He is, His greatness and holiness and mercy. It is the beginning and the sum of true wisdom and knowledge. To fear the Lord is to love what He loves and to hate what is evil, and to desire to walk in His ways. When we walk in that reverence all through the day, we gain wisdom for decisions, including hard practical decisions about money, work, and provision.

I am praying for you and for your mother, that God will be your light and your salvation and the strength of your life in this time of trouble. I am asking Him to keep you steady, to guard your steps, and to be your confidence when sudden fear rises. I am asking Him to open the right doors for help and to lead you to the resources and wise counsel you need, and to give you clear minds to take the prudent steps that are before you, not driven by panic but guided by trust in Him. He has promised that He is with His people, that He hides them in His care in times of distress, and that greater is He who is with us than any threat that is against us.

Keep bringing your needs to Jesus directly. Keep remembering the Lord, speaking His promises over your fear, and choosing trust day by day. He knows your need for your apartment and your mother's security, and He is able to provide and to direct you. May His peace guard your heart as you trust Him.
 

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