Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing so honestly about what you are going through. Your fear, your confusion, and the feeling of being stuck in a painful pattern are heard. It takes courage to speak about this, especially when you feel alone, afraid to tell your mother, and even unsure if God is real or listening.
God is real, and He does hear you even when your faith feels weak. Doubt does not make Him go away. Scripture says that God is faithful and that no temptation has taken you except what is common to all people, and He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but with the temptation He will also make a way of escape so you can endure it. That way of escape is often a choice to step away, to say no, to not put yourself back into a situation where you know you will be harmed or pressured. It is wise not to throw yourself into danger when you do not have to, and it is brave to take the escape God provides when the pressure comes. He allows us to feel our need so we will run to Him as a child runs to a mother, not to shame us but to draw us close and give us rest.
You said you feel used and you are afraid of becoming pregnant. You are not made to be used. You are made and loved by God, with value and dignity, and His design for sex is to belong only within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. Outside of that, it will always bring fear, hurt, and confusion, as you are feeling now. Love does not use another person to satisfy lust. True love protects, honors, and waits. Continuing to give yourself in this way will not make him love you more, and it will keep you in fear.
God does not bless what harms you, but He does offer forgiveness, cleansing, and a new beginning through Jesus Christ alone. When we turn to Him in repentance and faith, He justifies us and declares us righteous not because of our own goodness but because of Christ who died and rose for us. His goodness toward you should lead you to trust Him, and to fear turning away from His care. Even if your faith feels small right now, like the man who began to sink when he doubted, Jesus reaches out to hold you when you call to Him.
I will pray for you, not that God would bless this sexual relationship, but that He would give you strength to step out of it.
Father in heaven, I lift up this young woman to You. You see her fear, her loneliness, and her doubt. Show her that You are real, that You love her, and that You hear her. Forgive her sins through Jesus Christ and give her a new heart to trust You. Give her courage to turn away from what is harming her and to choose purity. Quiet the lust and selfishness in this young man and help them both to seek what is holy. Take away overwhelming fear and give her peace, wisdom, and self control. Provide the way of escape each time temptation comes and give her strength to take it. Help her to find a safe person to talk to and to not remain alone in this struggle. Help her to know she is deeply valued and not forgotten. Amen.
Please do not stay alone with this burden. It would be wise to step away from being alone with him in private places where temptation is strongest, and to set a clear boundary that you will not continue sexual activity outside marriage. Seek a safe, trusted person soon, a mother, a family member, a pastor, a counselor, or a mature Christian woman who can walk with you in person. If you are worried about pregnancy or your health, please speak to a medical professional or a trusted adult who can help you get care. If you feel pressured or unsafe at any time, reach out for help right away.
You do not have to keep going back to where you were last year. God is able to help you to stand, to find forgiveness, and to live in a different way. Keep praying even when it feels hard, keep asking Him to help you persevere, and keep fleeing to Him for refuge. He is faithful to keep those who continue to trust Him.
God is real, and He does hear you even when your faith feels weak. Doubt does not make Him go away. Scripture says that God is faithful and that no temptation has taken you except what is common to all people, and He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but with the temptation He will also make a way of escape so you can endure it. That way of escape is often a choice to step away, to say no, to not put yourself back into a situation where you know you will be harmed or pressured. It is wise not to throw yourself into danger when you do not have to, and it is brave to take the escape God provides when the pressure comes. He allows us to feel our need so we will run to Him as a child runs to a mother, not to shame us but to draw us close and give us rest.
You said you feel used and you are afraid of becoming pregnant. You are not made to be used. You are made and loved by God, with value and dignity, and His design for sex is to belong only within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. Outside of that, it will always bring fear, hurt, and confusion, as you are feeling now. Love does not use another person to satisfy lust. True love protects, honors, and waits. Continuing to give yourself in this way will not make him love you more, and it will keep you in fear.
God does not bless what harms you, but He does offer forgiveness, cleansing, and a new beginning through Jesus Christ alone. When we turn to Him in repentance and faith, He justifies us and declares us righteous not because of our own goodness but because of Christ who died and rose for us. His goodness toward you should lead you to trust Him, and to fear turning away from His care. Even if your faith feels small right now, like the man who began to sink when he doubted, Jesus reaches out to hold you when you call to Him.
I will pray for you, not that God would bless this sexual relationship, but that He would give you strength to step out of it.
Father in heaven, I lift up this young woman to You. You see her fear, her loneliness, and her doubt. Show her that You are real, that You love her, and that You hear her. Forgive her sins through Jesus Christ and give her a new heart to trust You. Give her courage to turn away from what is harming her and to choose purity. Quiet the lust and selfishness in this young man and help them both to seek what is holy. Take away overwhelming fear and give her peace, wisdom, and self control. Provide the way of escape each time temptation comes and give her strength to take it. Help her to find a safe person to talk to and to not remain alone in this struggle. Help her to know she is deeply valued and not forgotten. Amen.
Please do not stay alone with this burden. It would be wise to step away from being alone with him in private places where temptation is strongest, and to set a clear boundary that you will not continue sexual activity outside marriage. Seek a safe, trusted person soon, a mother, a family member, a pastor, a counselor, or a mature Christian woman who can walk with you in person. If you are worried about pregnancy or your health, please speak to a medical professional or a trusted adult who can help you get care. If you feel pressured or unsafe at any time, reach out for help right away.
You do not have to keep going back to where you were last year. God is able to help you to stand, to find forgiveness, and to live in a different way. Keep praying even when it feels hard, keep asking Him to help you persevere, and keep fleeing to Him for refuge. He is faithful to keep those who continue to trust Him.
