Silas
Beloved of All
Your heart for your family and your desire to see them walk in peace and truth is clear, and it is right to bring them before the Lord. Thank you for sharing so honestly about the pain and division you are experiencing.
God hears your prayers for protection, and His Word gives assurance that His peace which goes beyond all understanding can guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus, that no weapon formed against you will finally prosper, and that He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. You can continue to plead the covering of the blood of Jesus over yourself and your children and to ask Him to place His hedge of protection and His full armor around your home, your travels, and every room and corner of your property. The Lord fights for you, and you can rest in His care even when you feel worn down by worry, fear and exhaustion.
At the center of all of this is your relationship with God Himself. Scripture puts the first commands about loving God before any commands about loving others, because when our relationship with Him is not right, our relationships with people cannot be right. When that relationship is restored and kept in a living, loving communion rather than a mere legal or ritual observance, the other relationships begin to come into balance. God has adopted you into His family through faith in Jesus Christ, His only begotten Son, and He invites you to know Him as Father in a close, intimate way. That adoption is your standing, and from that place you can look to Him as your Father who loves you, who keeps you, and who will give wisdom to you, your family, your caregivers and your care team as you seek to bring out the best in your son.
The pain you describe in your older daughter's situation reflects what Scripture shows when we step outside God's design. When the pattern for marriage is set aside, jealousy, rivalry, division and control soon follow. We see this in the early families where more than one wife was taken, and even while God was merciful, the household knew constant strife. We also see how hard it is to live in a polluted moral environment and not be touched by it, as a family that lingered in a corrupt city was deeply affected by its influence. In the same way, living together outside of marriage as if it were marriage is not God's covenant design for a man and a woman. Marriage is His covenant of one man and one woman for life, and intimacy belongs within that covenant. When that boundary is ignored, it opens the door to deception, manipulation, financial exploitation and spiritual bondage, just as you have observed.
For that reason we do not ask God to bless or affirm that arrangement, but we do ask Him to open eyes and bring freedom. It is right to pray that your daughter would see clearly that this young man is not her husband, not her father, not her provider, and not ready for the responsibilities of marriage, and that the heavy burden and false sense of obligation she carries is not hers to bear. Pray that the stubbornness would be broken and replaced with a hunger for righteousness, that the blinders would be removed so she can see the harm to her health, finances, faith, work and family relationships, and that she would no longer feel she must choose this young man and his mother over her own family, her church family and the faith in which she was raised. Pray that she would return to the Lord and to His ways not with shame alone but with a deep sense of freedom, peace and restoration, honoring her parents as God commands and again walking in the gracious, thankful spirit you once knew in her.
It is also right to pray that the influence that encourages her to live together and even to have children before marriage would be frustrated and exposed. No one outside your family has been given parental authority over your daughter, and counsel that draws her away from obedience to Christ is not from the Lord. Pray that she would discern manipulation rooted in pride and selfishness and that she would remember she is a child of the Most High, not homeless, not without support, and not required to change her faith or leave her church to please another family.
For your younger daughter, pray that she would remain steadfast and not be swayed by the example she has seen. Ask the Lord to surround her with godly friendships and mentors who encourage her in the Lord, and that she would in time seek a spouse who honors Christ and values the sanctity of marriage, not being unequally yoked but joined with one who loves as Christ loves the church.
For your son, be assured that his life is precious and deeply loved by God. He is not a burden or an embarrassment but a blessing. Pray that every spirit of hatred, mockery and exclusion directed toward him would be rebuked, that he would always feel loved, accepted and included, and that the Lord would shine His light into every dark place for him, granting him peace and joy, patience and the ability to express his needs in a godly manner. Pray too that the sweet relationship he once had with his sister would be restored.
For yourself, continue to ask for strength, wisdom and discernment, and for financial provision not for selfish gain but so your home may be a testimony of God's provision and a blessing to others. Ask that your home would be dedicated to the Lord, filled with His Spirit and His light, and that you and your family would be a beacon of that light wherever you go.
May the Lord frustrate every scheme to divide, isolate and corrupt your family, remove what is ungodly and controlling, and mend what has been torn. May He guard your daughter's workplace, grant safe travels, and above all draw each of you into that deeper, loving relationship with Jesus where you are caught up in His glory and love for you. We join you in praying all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer.
God hears your prayers for protection, and His Word gives assurance that His peace which goes beyond all understanding can guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus, that no weapon formed against you will finally prosper, and that He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. You can continue to plead the covering of the blood of Jesus over yourself and your children and to ask Him to place His hedge of protection and His full armor around your home, your travels, and every room and corner of your property. The Lord fights for you, and you can rest in His care even when you feel worn down by worry, fear and exhaustion.
At the center of all of this is your relationship with God Himself. Scripture puts the first commands about loving God before any commands about loving others, because when our relationship with Him is not right, our relationships with people cannot be right. When that relationship is restored and kept in a living, loving communion rather than a mere legal or ritual observance, the other relationships begin to come into balance. God has adopted you into His family through faith in Jesus Christ, His only begotten Son, and He invites you to know Him as Father in a close, intimate way. That adoption is your standing, and from that place you can look to Him as your Father who loves you, who keeps you, and who will give wisdom to you, your family, your caregivers and your care team as you seek to bring out the best in your son.
The pain you describe in your older daughter's situation reflects what Scripture shows when we step outside God's design. When the pattern for marriage is set aside, jealousy, rivalry, division and control soon follow. We see this in the early families where more than one wife was taken, and even while God was merciful, the household knew constant strife. We also see how hard it is to live in a polluted moral environment and not be touched by it, as a family that lingered in a corrupt city was deeply affected by its influence. In the same way, living together outside of marriage as if it were marriage is not God's covenant design for a man and a woman. Marriage is His covenant of one man and one woman for life, and intimacy belongs within that covenant. When that boundary is ignored, it opens the door to deception, manipulation, financial exploitation and spiritual bondage, just as you have observed.
For that reason we do not ask God to bless or affirm that arrangement, but we do ask Him to open eyes and bring freedom. It is right to pray that your daughter would see clearly that this young man is not her husband, not her father, not her provider, and not ready for the responsibilities of marriage, and that the heavy burden and false sense of obligation she carries is not hers to bear. Pray that the stubbornness would be broken and replaced with a hunger for righteousness, that the blinders would be removed so she can see the harm to her health, finances, faith, work and family relationships, and that she would no longer feel she must choose this young man and his mother over her own family, her church family and the faith in which she was raised. Pray that she would return to the Lord and to His ways not with shame alone but with a deep sense of freedom, peace and restoration, honoring her parents as God commands and again walking in the gracious, thankful spirit you once knew in her.
It is also right to pray that the influence that encourages her to live together and even to have children before marriage would be frustrated and exposed. No one outside your family has been given parental authority over your daughter, and counsel that draws her away from obedience to Christ is not from the Lord. Pray that she would discern manipulation rooted in pride and selfishness and that she would remember she is a child of the Most High, not homeless, not without support, and not required to change her faith or leave her church to please another family.
For your younger daughter, pray that she would remain steadfast and not be swayed by the example she has seen. Ask the Lord to surround her with godly friendships and mentors who encourage her in the Lord, and that she would in time seek a spouse who honors Christ and values the sanctity of marriage, not being unequally yoked but joined with one who loves as Christ loves the church.
For your son, be assured that his life is precious and deeply loved by God. He is not a burden or an embarrassment but a blessing. Pray that every spirit of hatred, mockery and exclusion directed toward him would be rebuked, that he would always feel loved, accepted and included, and that the Lord would shine His light into every dark place for him, granting him peace and joy, patience and the ability to express his needs in a godly manner. Pray too that the sweet relationship he once had with his sister would be restored.
For yourself, continue to ask for strength, wisdom and discernment, and for financial provision not for selfish gain but so your home may be a testimony of God's provision and a blessing to others. Ask that your home would be dedicated to the Lord, filled with His Spirit and His light, and that you and your family would be a beacon of that light wherever you go.
May the Lord frustrate every scheme to divide, isolate and corrupt your family, remove what is ungodly and controlling, and mend what has been torn. May He guard your daughter's workplace, grant safe travels, and above all draw each of you into that deeper, loving relationship with Jesus where you are caught up in His glory and love for you. We join you in praying all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer.
