I became involved with my ex (who was not a Christian) knowing I shouldn't have because he wasn't a Christian but I was being rebellious. He already had health problems but got sicker and sicker over the course of our relationship until it was told to him by doctors that it was likely he had cancer (I firmly believe it at least partially happened due to God punishing him for trying to draw me into sexual immorality). Right before it was confirmed that he had cancer, I broke up with him because I hoped God would spare him if we finally separated but I didn't know how to tell him this was the reason although I did eventually tell him outright we are unequally yoked. Well he wouldn't speak to me after I broke up with him even though I begged him to keep in touch and let me remain his friend. He then popped up randomly this week and began talking about how I left him while he was getting diagnosed with cancer (and it seems he's also spreading this narrative about me to other people). I'm so hurt by this for so many reasons. I did what I did in breaking up with him to try to help him. I was wrong to get involved with him knowing God would probably not bless the relationship and I caused so much harm from that disobedience but I also tried to be there for him in astounding ways and even wanted to be there after I broke up with him, even when he wouldn't speak to me and even now - this week, when I thought there was a chance we could be friends, I offered to try to help him in so many ways. My ex is very manipulative and psychologically abusive which I believe is due to trauma and perhaps behavioral/emotional issues. I want to believe that beyond all that, he is a good person. I love that man so much, I would do anything for him. Please pray about all this. I wish God could make him a Christian and we could be together but that doesn't look likely. Thank you.
Ex
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We have heard your heart and we are carrying your burden before the Lord with you, and we thank you for your honesty in confessing that you entered this relationship knowing it was not God's will and that sexual immorality was involved. We grieve with you over the pain of this breakup, the hurt of his words about you, and the sorrow of his serious illness, and we want to walk with you in truth and grace.
We affirm that you were right to end the romantic relationship, for Scripture is clear, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness and iniquity, or what fellowship has light with darkness, 2 Corinthians 6:14. A boyfriend and girlfriend relationship is to be understood as courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, and marriage itself is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman that honors God. When a believer willingly enters a relationship with someone who is not in Christ, it cannot be blessed by God, and it exposes both to temptation. You mentioned he tried to draw you into sexual immorality, and we must lovingly rebuke any sexual activity outside of marriage, for that is fornication. The Word says, Flee sexual immorality, Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body, 1 Corinthians 6:18. We urge you, if you have not already, to confess this fully to the Lord, for If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, 1 John 1:9.
We also want to gently correct your understanding about his cancer. We understand why you feel his sickness is God punishing him for trying to draw you into sin and that breaking up might spare him, but we cannot speak for God in that way. Sickness and suffering are in this world because of the fall, not always as a direct punishment for a specific sin. When the disciples asked Jesus about a man born blind, they asked who sinned, and Jesus answered, Neither did this man sin, nor his parents, but that the works of God might be revealed in him, John 9:3. God does discipline those He loves, Hebrews 12:6, and He will judge sexual immorality, but we must not assume that every illness is a specific judgment from God for a specific act, nor that our obedience works as a transaction to control whether God heals someone. Your obedience in ending an unequally yoked relationship was right because God commands it, not because it would bargain for his health. You are not responsible for his cancer, and you must release that false guilt to the Lord.
We also hear how deeply you still love this man and how you have tried to help him even after he refused to speak to you, and how painful it is that he is now telling others you abandoned him during his diagnosis. The Lord sees the truth and He collects your tears, and He is close to the brokenhearted, He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds, Psalm 147:3, The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit, Psalm 34:18. We must also speak plainly about what you described as manipulative and psychologically abusive behavior. While trauma and emotional struggles can help explain why someone acts this way, they do not excuse sin against another. Love does not manipulate or abuse, and while we are called to forgive, forgiveness does not require remaining in a close friendship that harms you or allows you to be controlled. Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life, Proverbs 4:23. We encourage you to set firm and godly boundaries, to seek wise counsel from mature believers and your church, and not to remain entangled in a friendship that keeps you hoping for a romantic reconciliation that God has not ordained. If he continues to spread a false narrative, we encourage you to entrust your reputation to God, to not retaliate, and to forgive as Christ forgave you, Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice, And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, Ephesians 4:31-32.
You shared that you wish God could make him a Christian so you could be together, and we understand that longing. God indeed desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth, 1 Timothy 2:4, and He does not wish that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance, 2 Peter 3:9. We can and should pray for his salvation and for his healing, but we must not pursue a relationship in hopes that he will become a Christian for your sake. True conversion is a work of God where a person becomes a new creation, Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, The old things have passed away, Behold, all things have become new, 2 Corinthians 5:17. That change must be evident by genuine repentance and fruit over time, not by words to win you back. For now, the Lord calls you to trust Him with your future and to seek first God's Kingdom, and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well, Matthew 6:33. If it is God's will for you to marry, He will provide a godly spouse who is a faithful believer, and your courtship will be toward marriage that honors Him. Do not be anxious, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, Philippians 4:6, and If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him, James 1:5.
We noticed that you spoke of God but did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we must lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life, No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6, and There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. If you have not already, we urge you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ, who died for our sins and rose again, for the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord, Romans 6:23. It is by confessing Him as Lord and believing God raised Him from the dead that we are saved and can come boldly before God in prayer.
We pray together with you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, and we lift this dear sister to You. Lord, we thank You that she has confessed her rebellion in entering an unequally yoked relationship and we ask You to wash her completely in the blood of Jesus, to forgive her for fornication and disobedience, and to cleanse her conscience. Give her assurance that she is forgiven and help her to walk in purity from this day forward. Lord, we lift her former boyfriend to You, we ask for Your mercy upon him in his illness, we ask that You would bring healing according to Your will, but above all we ask for his salvation, that You would open his eyes to his need for Christ, that he would repent and be made new. We ask that You would comfort this sister in her heartbreak, heal her wounds, remove false guilt that she caused his cancer, and correct any misunderstanding of Your judgment. Help her to trust Your sovereignty and Your goodness, that You work all things together for good for those who love You, Romans 8:28. Give her wisdom to set godly boundaries with a man who has been manipulative, protect her from further harm, guard her heart from clinging to a relationship that is not Your will, and help her to forgive those who have spoken against her while not returning to an unhealthy entanglement. Lead her to a strong Christian community where she can be discipled and encouraged, and guide her steps toward the future spouse You may have for her, if it is Your will for her to marry, a man who loves You above all. Help her to wait on You and to find her hope and identity in Christ alone. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, amen.
We affirm that you were right to end the romantic relationship, for Scripture is clear, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness and iniquity, or what fellowship has light with darkness, 2 Corinthians 6:14. A boyfriend and girlfriend relationship is to be understood as courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, and marriage itself is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman that honors God. When a believer willingly enters a relationship with someone who is not in Christ, it cannot be blessed by God, and it exposes both to temptation. You mentioned he tried to draw you into sexual immorality, and we must lovingly rebuke any sexual activity outside of marriage, for that is fornication. The Word says, Flee sexual immorality, Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body, 1 Corinthians 6:18. We urge you, if you have not already, to confess this fully to the Lord, for If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, 1 John 1:9.
We also want to gently correct your understanding about his cancer. We understand why you feel his sickness is God punishing him for trying to draw you into sin and that breaking up might spare him, but we cannot speak for God in that way. Sickness and suffering are in this world because of the fall, not always as a direct punishment for a specific sin. When the disciples asked Jesus about a man born blind, they asked who sinned, and Jesus answered, Neither did this man sin, nor his parents, but that the works of God might be revealed in him, John 9:3. God does discipline those He loves, Hebrews 12:6, and He will judge sexual immorality, but we must not assume that every illness is a specific judgment from God for a specific act, nor that our obedience works as a transaction to control whether God heals someone. Your obedience in ending an unequally yoked relationship was right because God commands it, not because it would bargain for his health. You are not responsible for his cancer, and you must release that false guilt to the Lord.
We also hear how deeply you still love this man and how you have tried to help him even after he refused to speak to you, and how painful it is that he is now telling others you abandoned him during his diagnosis. The Lord sees the truth and He collects your tears, and He is close to the brokenhearted, He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds, Psalm 147:3, The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit, Psalm 34:18. We must also speak plainly about what you described as manipulative and psychologically abusive behavior. While trauma and emotional struggles can help explain why someone acts this way, they do not excuse sin against another. Love does not manipulate or abuse, and while we are called to forgive, forgiveness does not require remaining in a close friendship that harms you or allows you to be controlled. Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life, Proverbs 4:23. We encourage you to set firm and godly boundaries, to seek wise counsel from mature believers and your church, and not to remain entangled in a friendship that keeps you hoping for a romantic reconciliation that God has not ordained. If he continues to spread a false narrative, we encourage you to entrust your reputation to God, to not retaliate, and to forgive as Christ forgave you, Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice, And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, Ephesians 4:31-32.
You shared that you wish God could make him a Christian so you could be together, and we understand that longing. God indeed desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth, 1 Timothy 2:4, and He does not wish that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance, 2 Peter 3:9. We can and should pray for his salvation and for his healing, but we must not pursue a relationship in hopes that he will become a Christian for your sake. True conversion is a work of God where a person becomes a new creation, Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, The old things have passed away, Behold, all things have become new, 2 Corinthians 5:17. That change must be evident by genuine repentance and fruit over time, not by words to win you back. For now, the Lord calls you to trust Him with your future and to seek first God's Kingdom, and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well, Matthew 6:33. If it is God's will for you to marry, He will provide a godly spouse who is a faithful believer, and your courtship will be toward marriage that honors Him. Do not be anxious, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, Philippians 4:6, and If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him, James 1:5.
We noticed that you spoke of God but did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we must lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life, No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6, and There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. If you have not already, we urge you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ, who died for our sins and rose again, for the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord, Romans 6:23. It is by confessing Him as Lord and believing God raised Him from the dead that we are saved and can come boldly before God in prayer.
We pray together with you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, and we lift this dear sister to You. Lord, we thank You that she has confessed her rebellion in entering an unequally yoked relationship and we ask You to wash her completely in the blood of Jesus, to forgive her for fornication and disobedience, and to cleanse her conscience. Give her assurance that she is forgiven and help her to walk in purity from this day forward. Lord, we lift her former boyfriend to You, we ask for Your mercy upon him in his illness, we ask that You would bring healing according to Your will, but above all we ask for his salvation, that You would open his eyes to his need for Christ, that he would repent and be made new. We ask that You would comfort this sister in her heartbreak, heal her wounds, remove false guilt that she caused his cancer, and correct any misunderstanding of Your judgment. Help her to trust Your sovereignty and Your goodness, that You work all things together for good for those who love You, Romans 8:28. Give her wisdom to set godly boundaries with a man who has been manipulative, protect her from further harm, guard her heart from clinging to a relationship that is not Your will, and help her to forgive those who have spoken against her while not returning to an unhealthy entanglement. Lead her to a strong Christian community where she can be discipled and encouraged, and guide her steps toward the future spouse You may have for her, if it is Your will for her to marry, a man who loves You above all. Help her to wait on You and to find her hope and identity in Christ alone. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, amen.
We have been sitting with your story and the heavy mix of grief, guilt, and love you are carrying. It makes sense that you feel torn. You tried to do what you thought was right in ending the relationship, you still care deeply for him, and now to hear a painful story being told about you when you wanted to remain a friend and help is a lot to hold.
We want to gently lift one burden you named. His illness is not a punishment from God on him for your choices, and it was not something you could have prevented by staying or by leaving. We live in a fallen world where serious illness happens, and it is not in your hands to control that outcome. There is a difference between real sorrow for choices we regret, which can lead us to honest confession and healing, and the heavier false guilt that tells us we caused something we did not cause. You did not cause his cancer.
You also named something important about how he has treated you as manipulative and psychologically hurtful. That kind of pattern, even when someone has their own trauma, can leave a lasting ache and confusion long after a relationship ends, and caring for someone does not mean you have to stay closely connected or try to correct every story told about you. Forgiveness and goodwill do not have to mean remaining in close contact, especially when contact leaves you feeling diminished.
It could help to sit down one on one with a trusted pastor or Christian counselor soon, not as a couple, just for you, to sort through the grief and guilt and to think through healthy boundaries around any future contact.
Father, we bring our sister to You in Jesus name. Cover her with Your mercy, quiet the false guilt, and give her clear wisdom, peace, and support as she grieves. We ask for healing and mercy for her ex as well, and above all that he would come to know You. Guide her steps day by day. Amen.
We want to gently lift one burden you named. His illness is not a punishment from God on him for your choices, and it was not something you could have prevented by staying or by leaving. We live in a fallen world where serious illness happens, and it is not in your hands to control that outcome. There is a difference between real sorrow for choices we regret, which can lead us to honest confession and healing, and the heavier false guilt that tells us we caused something we did not cause. You did not cause his cancer.
You also named something important about how he has treated you as manipulative and psychologically hurtful. That kind of pattern, even when someone has their own trauma, can leave a lasting ache and confusion long after a relationship ends, and caring for someone does not mean you have to stay closely connected or try to correct every story told about you. Forgiveness and goodwill do not have to mean remaining in close contact, especially when contact leaves you feeling diminished.
It could help to sit down one on one with a trusted pastor or Christian counselor soon, not as a couple, just for you, to sort through the grief and guilt and to think through healthy boundaries around any future contact.
Father, we bring our sister to You in Jesus name. Cover her with Your mercy, quiet the false guilt, and give her clear wisdom, peace, and support as she grieves. We ask for healing and mercy for her ex as well, and above all that he would come to know You. Guide her steps day by day. Amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your letter reveals a heavy and tangled sorrow, and it is good that you have brought it openly before the Lord. There is much here that calls for both truth and mercy, and both are found with God through Jesus Christ.
First, concerning the breaking of the relationship, you acted rightly to separate from one with whom you were unequally yoked. Scripture says, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, and you found the yoke of Christ to be the wiser and kinder yoke, though it cost you pain to obey. Do not despise that obedience now because it has brought reproach. That you did so out of a desire to honor God is not a cause for shame, even if others now misrepresent your motives.
Yet you must not carry a false burden about his sickness. It is understandable that you have linked his cancer to God's punishment upon him for drawing you into sexual immorality, and to your hope that leaving him would spare him. But sickness and cancer belong to this fallen world under sin and death, and we are not given to interpret any particular illness as God's direct stroke for a particular sin. The Lord does discipline His own children, but He does not teach us to read His hidden purposes in this way, nor to think that our actions can bargain with Him for another's health. His ways are higher than ours, and his illness is not your doing. To think so is to put upon your conscience a weight God has not laid there, and to view God as one who can be managed by our decisions rather than trusted in His sovereign goodness.
What is true, and what you have rightly felt, is that sexual intimacy outside the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman is sin before God. You knew this, and you have confessed that you entered this relationship in rebellion. That confession is the place where grace meets the sinner. Hear the word of the Lord, There is forgiveness with Thee. This is not a hopeful guess but a certain promise. There is forgiveness with God, through the blood of Jesus Christ His Son, who died the Just for the unjust to bring us to God. It is a divine forgiveness, I even I am He that blotteth out thy transgressions for Mine own sake. It is a surprising forgiveness, a complete forgiveness, an eternal forgiveness. It does not say there is forgiveness for this sin or that, but there is forgiveness, and where God draws no limit, you must not draw one. If you tremble and desire forgiveness with a penitent heart, you may have it now, not because your sin is small, but because Christ is great. The gifts and calling of God are without repentance, He never plays fast and loose with men. When the Son removes guilt, the Spirit also works to remove guile, so that the forgiven soul no longer hides or excuses sin, but confesses it heartily and humbles itself before God and seeks to walk in newness of life. That is the healing that follows forgiveness, for the very leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations, and the least thing about Christ has healing virtue to change the life blood and make the nature other than it was before.
Therefore do not remain in despair, but believe in the forgiveness of sins for yourself, as a poor sinner trusting Christ alone for salvation. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and there is no other name by which we are saved. Come to Him in simple faith, confessing your rebellion and your sexual sin without reserve, and receive His absolute forgiveness.
Concerning your former companion, it is right to have compassion, and we will pray for him, but we must pray aright. We cannot ask God to bless an unequally yoked romantic union, nor to save a man merely so that you might be together. That would be to ask God to serve our desires rather than His glory. We will pray that God, in His mercy, would bring this man to true repentance and faith in Christ for the sake of his own soul, that he might know the same forgiveness you seek, whether you are ever reunited or not. And we will pray that God would heal you and give you wisdom.
Love does not require you to remain entangled with one who is manipulative and psychologically abusive. Trauma may help explain such behavior, but it does not excuse it, nor does it make it safe for you to remain as his confidant or helper. That you would do anything for him shows the strength of your affection, but true love seeks holiness and truth, not a return to what God has called you to leave. To offer yourself again as a helper and friend while he speaks against you and uses your kindness is to invite further harm. It is wise and loving to set firm boundaries, to cease private contact, and to seek the counsel and protection of a faithful pastor and mature believers in your church who know you and can walk with you. If you have not already, bring this whole matter to them.
May the Lord grant you a clear conscience through the blood of Christ, a settled mind about what was and was not your responsibility, and grace to walk forward in purity and obedience. We are praying that you would know deeply that there is forgiveness with God, that you would be kept from returning to what grieved Him, that you would be healed by Christ in body and soul, and that you would be guarded from further abuse. We are praying also for this man, that God would have mercy upon him, open his eyes to his need of Christ, and bring him to salvation according to His perfect will, and that God would comfort him in his affliction and use even this trial to draw him to Himself.
May the Lord who forgives and heals keep you and make you whole in Christ.
First, concerning the breaking of the relationship, you acted rightly to separate from one with whom you were unequally yoked. Scripture says, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, and you found the yoke of Christ to be the wiser and kinder yoke, though it cost you pain to obey. Do not despise that obedience now because it has brought reproach. That you did so out of a desire to honor God is not a cause for shame, even if others now misrepresent your motives.
Yet you must not carry a false burden about his sickness. It is understandable that you have linked his cancer to God's punishment upon him for drawing you into sexual immorality, and to your hope that leaving him would spare him. But sickness and cancer belong to this fallen world under sin and death, and we are not given to interpret any particular illness as God's direct stroke for a particular sin. The Lord does discipline His own children, but He does not teach us to read His hidden purposes in this way, nor to think that our actions can bargain with Him for another's health. His ways are higher than ours, and his illness is not your doing. To think so is to put upon your conscience a weight God has not laid there, and to view God as one who can be managed by our decisions rather than trusted in His sovereign goodness.
What is true, and what you have rightly felt, is that sexual intimacy outside the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman is sin before God. You knew this, and you have confessed that you entered this relationship in rebellion. That confession is the place where grace meets the sinner. Hear the word of the Lord, There is forgiveness with Thee. This is not a hopeful guess but a certain promise. There is forgiveness with God, through the blood of Jesus Christ His Son, who died the Just for the unjust to bring us to God. It is a divine forgiveness, I even I am He that blotteth out thy transgressions for Mine own sake. It is a surprising forgiveness, a complete forgiveness, an eternal forgiveness. It does not say there is forgiveness for this sin or that, but there is forgiveness, and where God draws no limit, you must not draw one. If you tremble and desire forgiveness with a penitent heart, you may have it now, not because your sin is small, but because Christ is great. The gifts and calling of God are without repentance, He never plays fast and loose with men. When the Son removes guilt, the Spirit also works to remove guile, so that the forgiven soul no longer hides or excuses sin, but confesses it heartily and humbles itself before God and seeks to walk in newness of life. That is the healing that follows forgiveness, for the very leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations, and the least thing about Christ has healing virtue to change the life blood and make the nature other than it was before.
Therefore do not remain in despair, but believe in the forgiveness of sins for yourself, as a poor sinner trusting Christ alone for salvation. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and there is no other name by which we are saved. Come to Him in simple faith, confessing your rebellion and your sexual sin without reserve, and receive His absolute forgiveness.
Concerning your former companion, it is right to have compassion, and we will pray for him, but we must pray aright. We cannot ask God to bless an unequally yoked romantic union, nor to save a man merely so that you might be together. That would be to ask God to serve our desires rather than His glory. We will pray that God, in His mercy, would bring this man to true repentance and faith in Christ for the sake of his own soul, that he might know the same forgiveness you seek, whether you are ever reunited or not. And we will pray that God would heal you and give you wisdom.
Love does not require you to remain entangled with one who is manipulative and psychologically abusive. Trauma may help explain such behavior, but it does not excuse it, nor does it make it safe for you to remain as his confidant or helper. That you would do anything for him shows the strength of your affection, but true love seeks holiness and truth, not a return to what God has called you to leave. To offer yourself again as a helper and friend while he speaks against you and uses your kindness is to invite further harm. It is wise and loving to set firm boundaries, to cease private contact, and to seek the counsel and protection of a faithful pastor and mature believers in your church who know you and can walk with you. If you have not already, bring this whole matter to them.
May the Lord grant you a clear conscience through the blood of Christ, a settled mind about what was and was not your responsibility, and grace to walk forward in purity and obedience. We are praying that you would know deeply that there is forgiveness with God, that you would be kept from returning to what grieved Him, that you would be healed by Christ in body and soul, and that you would be guarded from further abuse. We are praying also for this man, that God would have mercy upon him, open his eyes to his need of Christ, and bring him to salvation according to His perfect will, and that God would comfort him in his affliction and use even this trial to draw him to Himself.
May the Lord who forgives and heals keep you and make you whole in Christ.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
I prayed for this in Jesus Name.
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing this painful and complicated story with such honesty. It is clear you are carrying a lot of hurt, guilt, confusion and love all at once, and it is good that you have brought these things into the light to seek prayer and counsel.
There are several important truths to sort through gently and clearly. First, God did not give your ex cancer as a punishment for drawing you into sexual immorality, and ending the relationship was not a bargain that would spare his health. We live in a fallen world where sickness is part of our brokenness, and while God does call us to turn from sin, He is not transactional in the way you describe. Your decision to end a relationship that was sexually immoral and unequally yoked was right, because Scripture teaches that sex belongs only within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, and that a believer should not be bound together with an unbeliever in that way. That choice was obedience, even though it was painful and came after disobedience. The right response to the earlier disobedience is not to try to manage God’s response, but to confess it plainly to Him. Name what happened, that you knowingly entered a relationship against His wisdom and participated in sexual sin, and receive His forgiveness through Jesus Christ alone. When we tell our offenses in particular we can better grasp the greatness of His mercy and become truly grateful for it.
Second, you are not responsible for his illness and you are not responsible for his narrative about you. It hurts deeply when someone says you abandoned him in his diagnosis, especially when you tried to stay and help and he refused contact. It is natural to want to defend yourself before others, but Scripture warns us that we can spend our whole lives living for the opinion of people. You do not need to control what he tells others. You are called to live quietly and faithfully before God, to forgive those who injure you and not to bear malice, because forgiveness is a choice you can make before God even when the other person does not act rightly. Forgiveness does not mean you must remain in close friendship or reenter a romantic relationship, especially where there has been manipulation and psychological abuse. Trauma may help explain why someone acts harmfully, but it does not excuse harmful behavior and it does not require you to stay exposed to it. Loving someone does not mean ignoring patterns that are abusive or allowing yourself to be drawn back into a dynamic that harms you. Wisdom here looks like clear boundaries, distance from a romantic or caretaking role, and seeking counsel from a pastor or mature believers in your local church who know you and can walk with you.
Third, your desire for him to become a Christian is good, and we should pray for his salvation. God alone can change a heart. But we cannot ask God to bless or restore a romantic relationship while he remains outside of Christ. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and a relationship that is unequally yoked cannot be made right by our wishes. To pray for you to be together apart from his conversion would be to ask God to affirm what He calls us away from. Instead we can pray for what is truly good for both of you.
We will pray for you in this way. Father, we thank You for Your mercy to sinners through Jesus Christ. We confess with our sister her sin of entering an unequally yoked relationship and sexual immorality, and we ask for Your full forgiveness and cleansing. Help her to walk in purity and in truth, to find her identity and comfort in You, and to release the false guilt she has carried about his illness. Give her wisdom to set healthy boundaries, courage to forgive those who have hurt her and spoken against her, and freedom from living for the opinions of others. Heal her heart from this loss and surround her with faithful community and pastoral care. For this man, we ask for mercy. You know his health struggles and his need for a new heart. We ask that You would bring him to salvation through Jesus, that he would hear the gospel and believe, and we ask for Your hand on his medical care according to Your will. Above all, let Your will be done in both lives, and lead our sister to pursue holiness and peace in a way that honors You. Amen.
Please continue to bring this to the Lord daily, stay rooted in Scripture and in fellowship with your church, and seek a trusted pastor or counselor to help you process the grief and the patterns of this past relationship so you can move forward in wisdom and wholeness.
There are several important truths to sort through gently and clearly. First, God did not give your ex cancer as a punishment for drawing you into sexual immorality, and ending the relationship was not a bargain that would spare his health. We live in a fallen world where sickness is part of our brokenness, and while God does call us to turn from sin, He is not transactional in the way you describe. Your decision to end a relationship that was sexually immoral and unequally yoked was right, because Scripture teaches that sex belongs only within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, and that a believer should not be bound together with an unbeliever in that way. That choice was obedience, even though it was painful and came after disobedience. The right response to the earlier disobedience is not to try to manage God’s response, but to confess it plainly to Him. Name what happened, that you knowingly entered a relationship against His wisdom and participated in sexual sin, and receive His forgiveness through Jesus Christ alone. When we tell our offenses in particular we can better grasp the greatness of His mercy and become truly grateful for it.
Second, you are not responsible for his illness and you are not responsible for his narrative about you. It hurts deeply when someone says you abandoned him in his diagnosis, especially when you tried to stay and help and he refused contact. It is natural to want to defend yourself before others, but Scripture warns us that we can spend our whole lives living for the opinion of people. You do not need to control what he tells others. You are called to live quietly and faithfully before God, to forgive those who injure you and not to bear malice, because forgiveness is a choice you can make before God even when the other person does not act rightly. Forgiveness does not mean you must remain in close friendship or reenter a romantic relationship, especially where there has been manipulation and psychological abuse. Trauma may help explain why someone acts harmfully, but it does not excuse harmful behavior and it does not require you to stay exposed to it. Loving someone does not mean ignoring patterns that are abusive or allowing yourself to be drawn back into a dynamic that harms you. Wisdom here looks like clear boundaries, distance from a romantic or caretaking role, and seeking counsel from a pastor or mature believers in your local church who know you and can walk with you.
Third, your desire for him to become a Christian is good, and we should pray for his salvation. God alone can change a heart. But we cannot ask God to bless or restore a romantic relationship while he remains outside of Christ. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and a relationship that is unequally yoked cannot be made right by our wishes. To pray for you to be together apart from his conversion would be to ask God to affirm what He calls us away from. Instead we can pray for what is truly good for both of you.
We will pray for you in this way. Father, we thank You for Your mercy to sinners through Jesus Christ. We confess with our sister her sin of entering an unequally yoked relationship and sexual immorality, and we ask for Your full forgiveness and cleansing. Help her to walk in purity and in truth, to find her identity and comfort in You, and to release the false guilt she has carried about his illness. Give her wisdom to set healthy boundaries, courage to forgive those who have hurt her and spoken against her, and freedom from living for the opinions of others. Heal her heart from this loss and surround her with faithful community and pastoral care. For this man, we ask for mercy. You know his health struggles and his need for a new heart. We ask that You would bring him to salvation through Jesus, that he would hear the gospel and believe, and we ask for Your hand on his medical care according to Your will. Above all, let Your will be done in both lives, and lead our sister to pursue holiness and peace in a way that honors You. Amen.
Please continue to bring this to the Lord daily, stay rooted in Scripture and in fellowship with your church, and seek a trusted pastor or counselor to help you process the grief and the patterns of this past relationship so you can move forward in wisdom and wholeness.
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