My ex was much older than me and liked dating younger women. He told me that this was due to trauma that had happened to him throughout his life. Whether that's true or not, I also think it was for other reasons as well. I have been left scarred by getting involved with him in many ways and I knew from the beginning God did not want me to. Please pray for me because his fixation with dating younger women like me assisted in causing those scars and my experience with him was not the only one I've had with an older man so there's added trauma. Thank you.
Ex
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We have heard your request and we are bringing you before the Lord together in Jesus' name, asking for His healing and restoration over the deep scars you have carried. We are so sorry for the pain and trauma you have experienced, not only with this ex but with other older men as well, and we thank you for sharing so honestly. We also hear that even as you entered this relationship you sensed in your spirit that God did not want you to, and we affirm that the Holy Spirit often warns us because He loves us and wants to protect us. The Lord is near to those who are brokenhearted and He sees every wound, for Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit, and Psalm 147:3 tells us He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds.
We want to speak truth to you in love about what has happened. A fixation by a much older man on dating much younger women is not a picture of godly love or selfless care, it is often rooted in lust and selfish desire and a desire for control rather than in Christlike love. Trauma in a person's past may help explain patterns of sin but it never excuses sin, and it does not make it right to pursue or use younger women. Our enemy wants to use trauma as a justification to continue in fleshly patterns, but God calls every person to repentance and to be transformed by the renewing of the mind as Romans 12:2 teaches. At the same time, we must gently address your part as well. You shared that you knew from the beginning God did not want you to become involved with him, and when we go forward despite that warning we step outside of God's protection. If that involvement included sexual intimacy outside of marriage, the Bible calls that fornication and it always leaves deeper wounds in the soul, for 1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us to flee sexual immorality, and it reminds us that such sin is against our own body which is meant to be a temple of the Holy Spirit. We say this not to shame you but to bring it into the light so you can receive full forgiveness and healing, for 1 John 1:9 promises if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We also believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, and we encourage that any courtship should be intentional and pure with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, not simply a boyfriend or girlfriend relationship that drifts into physical involvement. We pray you will be able to break this painful pattern of being drawn to older men and instead seek the Lord's wisdom and godly counsel before any future relationship, and 2 Corinthians 6:14 reminds us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity.
We also noticed you mentioned God but not the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and receive salvation and healing. Jesus Himself said in John 14:6 I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father, except through me, and Acts 4:12 declares there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. We encourage you to bring every prayer directly in the name of Jesus, trusting in His shed blood on the cross for the forgiveness of all sin and His resurrection power to make you whole.
We pray together now for you. Father in heaven, we lift this dear one to You in the name of Jesus Christ. We ask You to forgive any sin and to wash her clean by the blood of Jesus, and to heal the deep scars left by these relationships with older men. Lord, bind up every wound in her heart and mind and restore what the enemy has tried to steal. We ask You to break every unhealthy pattern and every lingering trauma, and fill her with Your perfect love which casts out fear as 1 John 4:18 teaches. Give her discernment to hear Your voice clearly and courage to obey it quickly, and surround her with wise, godly community and counsel to walk with her toward wholeness. Lead her in Your perfect will for her life, and if it is Your will, in Your timing prepare a godly husband who will love her as Christ loves the church and honor her purity and cherish her as Your daughter, building a marriage that honors You. Let her know how deeply she is loved and valued by You, for she is fearfully and wonderfully made as Psalm 139:14 says, and let Your peace which passes all understanding guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus as Philippians 4:7 promises. We pray that Romans 8:28 would be true in her life, that You will work all things together for good for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose. We ask all of this in the mighty and healing name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior, amen.
We encourage you to continue to seek the Lord daily in His Word and prayer, to remain in fellowship with a Bible believing church where you can receive discipleship and accountability, and to consider trusted Christian counseling to work through the added trauma you mentioned. God does not want you to live defined by these scars, for Isaiah 41:10 says Don’t be afraid, for I am with you, don’t be dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Keep your eyes on Jesus, pursue purity and holiness, and trust that He is able to restore your heart and guide you into a future filled with hope and wholeness in Him.
We want to speak truth to you in love about what has happened. A fixation by a much older man on dating much younger women is not a picture of godly love or selfless care, it is often rooted in lust and selfish desire and a desire for control rather than in Christlike love. Trauma in a person's past may help explain patterns of sin but it never excuses sin, and it does not make it right to pursue or use younger women. Our enemy wants to use trauma as a justification to continue in fleshly patterns, but God calls every person to repentance and to be transformed by the renewing of the mind as Romans 12:2 teaches. At the same time, we must gently address your part as well. You shared that you knew from the beginning God did not want you to become involved with him, and when we go forward despite that warning we step outside of God's protection. If that involvement included sexual intimacy outside of marriage, the Bible calls that fornication and it always leaves deeper wounds in the soul, for 1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us to flee sexual immorality, and it reminds us that such sin is against our own body which is meant to be a temple of the Holy Spirit. We say this not to shame you but to bring it into the light so you can receive full forgiveness and healing, for 1 John 1:9 promises if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We also believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, and we encourage that any courtship should be intentional and pure with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, not simply a boyfriend or girlfriend relationship that drifts into physical involvement. We pray you will be able to break this painful pattern of being drawn to older men and instead seek the Lord's wisdom and godly counsel before any future relationship, and 2 Corinthians 6:14 reminds us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity.
We also noticed you mentioned God but not the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and receive salvation and healing. Jesus Himself said in John 14:6 I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father, except through me, and Acts 4:12 declares there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. We encourage you to bring every prayer directly in the name of Jesus, trusting in His shed blood on the cross for the forgiveness of all sin and His resurrection power to make you whole.
We pray together now for you. Father in heaven, we lift this dear one to You in the name of Jesus Christ. We ask You to forgive any sin and to wash her clean by the blood of Jesus, and to heal the deep scars left by these relationships with older men. Lord, bind up every wound in her heart and mind and restore what the enemy has tried to steal. We ask You to break every unhealthy pattern and every lingering trauma, and fill her with Your perfect love which casts out fear as 1 John 4:18 teaches. Give her discernment to hear Your voice clearly and courage to obey it quickly, and surround her with wise, godly community and counsel to walk with her toward wholeness. Lead her in Your perfect will for her life, and if it is Your will, in Your timing prepare a godly husband who will love her as Christ loves the church and honor her purity and cherish her as Your daughter, building a marriage that honors You. Let her know how deeply she is loved and valued by You, for she is fearfully and wonderfully made as Psalm 139:14 says, and let Your peace which passes all understanding guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus as Philippians 4:7 promises. We pray that Romans 8:28 would be true in her life, that You will work all things together for good for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose. We ask all of this in the mighty and healing name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior, amen.
We encourage you to continue to seek the Lord daily in His Word and prayer, to remain in fellowship with a Bible believing church where you can receive discipleship and accountability, and to consider trusted Christian counseling to work through the added trauma you mentioned. God does not want you to live defined by these scars, for Isaiah 41:10 says Don’t be afraid, for I am with you, don’t be dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Keep your eyes on Jesus, pursue purity and holiness, and trust that He is able to restore your heart and guide you into a future filled with hope and wholeness in Him.
Thank you for trusting us with this painful part of your story. Being pursued by someone older who sought out younger women, and then sensing even at the beginning that God was not leading you there, would leave anyone feeling scarred. That it was not the only time this has happened makes sense that the hurt feels layered and heavier.
What you describe fits what happens when the lines that should protect a person have been crossed over and over. Those lines help us know what is ours to carry, our thoughts, choices, time, and energy, and where we are free to say yes and where we need to say no without guilt. When someone has used their age or experience to override those lines, it can leave you feeling unsure of your own voice, overly responsible for others, or afraid to step back even from relationships that harm you. Learning again that you have permission to own your feelings, to be honest about what you need, and to step away from what is toxic is part of how that inner sense of safety gets rebuilt slowly, with support.
It can help to walk this out with one safe, steady person, a trusted pastor or Christian counselor, who will not rush you, who lets you set the pace and make your own choices in the room. If intrusive memories, anxiety, or sleep difficulties continue to weigh on you, please also consider reaching out to a counselor or medical professional alongside prayer.
We pray for you now. Father, we lift this dear daughter to You and ask that You cover her with Your care and give her a growing sense of safety and dignity in You. Heal the places that still hurt, give her wisdom for each next step, and surround her with people who respect her and honor her boundaries. Lead her gently forward in Your will. In Jesus' name, amen.
What you describe fits what happens when the lines that should protect a person have been crossed over and over. Those lines help us know what is ours to carry, our thoughts, choices, time, and energy, and where we are free to say yes and where we need to say no without guilt. When someone has used their age or experience to override those lines, it can leave you feeling unsure of your own voice, overly responsible for others, or afraid to step back even from relationships that harm you. Learning again that you have permission to own your feelings, to be honest about what you need, and to step away from what is toxic is part of how that inner sense of safety gets rebuilt slowly, with support.
It can help to walk this out with one safe, steady person, a trusted pastor or Christian counselor, who will not rush you, who lets you set the pace and make your own choices in the room. If intrusive memories, anxiety, or sleep difficulties continue to weigh on you, please also consider reaching out to a counselor or medical professional alongside prayer.
We pray for you now. Father, we lift this dear daughter to You and ask that You cover her with Your care and give her a growing sense of safety and dignity in You. Heal the places that still hurt, give her wisdom for each next step, and surround her with people who respect her and honor her boundaries. Lead her gently forward in Your will. In Jesus' name, amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your honest and sorrowful words have been heard with deep tenderness, and we bring your burden before the Lord who alone can heal the broken in heart and bind up their wounds.
You have spoken truly that you knew from the beginning that the Lord did not will this path for you, and it is a mercy that His Spirit gave you that warning. What is outside His holy will for marriage, which is the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and for purity kept within that covenant, can only leave scars. We do not ask God to bless what He has not ordained, but we do ask Him to bless you with healing from what has wounded you. The soldier who retires from the battlefield looks for a hand to extricate the shot and for ointments to heal his wounds, and you have come to the one true Physician who can give joy to the troubled countenance, wipe the tear from the eye, and calm the heart swelling with grief.
We take comfort for you in this, that the leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations, and the least thing about Christ has healing virtue in it. There is not a word that ever fell from His dear lips but what bears healing for some one of the thousand ills that have befallen our humanity. Even a broken text from His mouth is better than the best of others, and His healing is appointed for this very purpose. He who healed all that had need of healing while He sojourned here has lost none of His power, and the costly balm of His atonement is still able to remove both the guilt of sin and the smart of its sorrow.
We pray for you now that you may know first forgiveness and then healing. May the Lord speak pardon to your soul through faith in Jesus Christ alone, for there is no other name by which we must be saved, and with that pardon may He send a healing draught to your wounded spirit. May He purge every evil that has touched you and keep you from the pestilence that walks in darkness, from insidious errors and sins. In answer to the prayer He Himself taught us, may He lead you not into temptation but deliver you from the Evil One, so that the Evil One touches you not, and may He preserve your soul and put His fear in your heart that you shall not depart from Him.
We pray also that the Lord will lift you up as by His own hand, for there is healing in His touch, and that He will make you whole that you may serve Him in newness of life. You must first be healed by Him before you can walk strongly for Him, and He delights to do this work Himself. May He give you quietness of mind, purity of heart, and a settled peace that passes understanding, and may He guard your future steps, that you may walk in His upright way and know the joy of obedience.
We will continue to pray that the Lord who healeth the broken in heart will make you to know that you are fully forgiven, fully cleansed, and fully kept in His love, and that from His fullness you may receive grace upon grace until every scar is healed by His tender hand. Amen.
You have spoken truly that you knew from the beginning that the Lord did not will this path for you, and it is a mercy that His Spirit gave you that warning. What is outside His holy will for marriage, which is the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and for purity kept within that covenant, can only leave scars. We do not ask God to bless what He has not ordained, but we do ask Him to bless you with healing from what has wounded you. The soldier who retires from the battlefield looks for a hand to extricate the shot and for ointments to heal his wounds, and you have come to the one true Physician who can give joy to the troubled countenance, wipe the tear from the eye, and calm the heart swelling with grief.
We take comfort for you in this, that the leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations, and the least thing about Christ has healing virtue in it. There is not a word that ever fell from His dear lips but what bears healing for some one of the thousand ills that have befallen our humanity. Even a broken text from His mouth is better than the best of others, and His healing is appointed for this very purpose. He who healed all that had need of healing while He sojourned here has lost none of His power, and the costly balm of His atonement is still able to remove both the guilt of sin and the smart of its sorrow.
We pray for you now that you may know first forgiveness and then healing. May the Lord speak pardon to your soul through faith in Jesus Christ alone, for there is no other name by which we must be saved, and with that pardon may He send a healing draught to your wounded spirit. May He purge every evil that has touched you and keep you from the pestilence that walks in darkness, from insidious errors and sins. In answer to the prayer He Himself taught us, may He lead you not into temptation but deliver you from the Evil One, so that the Evil One touches you not, and may He preserve your soul and put His fear in your heart that you shall not depart from Him.
We pray also that the Lord will lift you up as by His own hand, for there is healing in His touch, and that He will make you whole that you may serve Him in newness of life. You must first be healed by Him before you can walk strongly for Him, and He delights to do this work Himself. May He give you quietness of mind, purity of heart, and a settled peace that passes understanding, and may He guard your future steps, that you may walk in His upright way and know the joy of obedience.
We will continue to pray that the Lord who healeth the broken in heart will make you to know that you are fully forgiven, fully cleansed, and fully kept in His love, and that from His fullness you may receive grace upon grace until every scar is healed by His tender hand. Amen.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
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