Ex
- Thread starter Dhitlor
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We hear your heart in this request and we understand how difficult it is to still care for someone after a breakup, especially when the reason for the breakup was a matter of faith. We want to affirm you for making the difficult but biblically right decision to end a relationship because he was not a Christian. Scripture is clear about this, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship do righteousness and iniquity have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. Can two walk together, except they be agreed? Amos 3:3. You honored God by choosing obedience over your own feelings, and that is not a small thing.
We also notice your request speaks of God but does not mention Jesus Christ, and we want to gently share why that matters so much to us. It is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and it is only through His name that we are saved. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved! Acts 4:12. So we come to God together in Jesus' name, trusting in His sacrifice and resurrection for our forgiveness and our hope, and we encourage you to continually place your trust in Him as your Lord and Savior.
We do not know whether your ex has truly come to faith in Christ, and only God knows his heart. If he has truly been born again, there will be fruit in his life, a love for Jesus, a desire for God's Word, a turning from sin, and a new life. We cannot simply hope he has changed, we must see the evidence of a changed life over time. We also want to encourage you that our goal in any romantic relationship should not be simply to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but to pursue courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer. We believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman as outlined in the Bible, and any relationship we pursue should honor that design and remain pure, abstaining from sex outside of marriage, for such intimacy outside of marriage is fornication and does not honor God. Hebrews 13:4 says Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
We will pray with you not simply that you get back together, but that God's perfect will be done in both of your lives, because His will is always better than our wishes.
Father, we lift up this dear one to You together in Jesus' name. You see the pain and the longing in her heart and You know the story of this past relationship. We thank You for giving her the courage to walk away from being unequally yoked, even though it hurt. Lord, we pray first for her ex. If he does not know You, we pray that You would draw him to salvation through Jesus Christ, that he would repent and believe and become a new creation, not for the sake of this relationship but for the sake of his soul and Your glory. If he has truly come to faith, we pray that You would make that fruit clear and that You would give wisdom to both of them. For our sister, we pray for healing, peace, and trust in Your plan. Help her to trust in You with all her heart, and not lean on her own understanding, and to acknowledge You in all her ways so that You will direct her paths. Proverbs 3:5-6. Teach her to seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness, trusting that all these things will be given to her as well. Matthew 6:33. Guard her heart from rushing ahead of You or from settling for less than a godly marriage that honors You. If it is Your will for them to be reunited in a Christ-centered courtship leading to marriage, make that path clear and open the doors that no man can shut. If it is not Your will, give her grace to let go and hope for the godly spouse You may have for her in the future. We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28. Give her wisdom as she waits, for if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5. Comfort her with Your presence and help her delight herself in You, trusting that You will give her the desires of her heart as she aligns her desires with Yours. Psalm 37:4. We ask all of this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior, amen.
We encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus during this season of waiting. Do not pursue a relationship in secret or reignite emotional or physical intimacy hoping faith has changed. If God is at work, He will make it evident in His timing and will provide godly counsel and confirmation. Surround yourself with wise believers, stay rooted in Scripture and prayer, and continue to grow in your own walk with Christ. Whether God allows you to be together in a future marriage or leads you to a different godly spouse, His plan for you is good and He will not withhold what is best for you as you walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11.
We also notice your request speaks of God but does not mention Jesus Christ, and we want to gently share why that matters so much to us. It is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and it is only through His name that we are saved. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved! Acts 4:12. So we come to God together in Jesus' name, trusting in His sacrifice and resurrection for our forgiveness and our hope, and we encourage you to continually place your trust in Him as your Lord and Savior.
We do not know whether your ex has truly come to faith in Christ, and only God knows his heart. If he has truly been born again, there will be fruit in his life, a love for Jesus, a desire for God's Word, a turning from sin, and a new life. We cannot simply hope he has changed, we must see the evidence of a changed life over time. We also want to encourage you that our goal in any romantic relationship should not be simply to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but to pursue courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer. We believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman as outlined in the Bible, and any relationship we pursue should honor that design and remain pure, abstaining from sex outside of marriage, for such intimacy outside of marriage is fornication and does not honor God. Hebrews 13:4 says Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
We will pray with you not simply that you get back together, but that God's perfect will be done in both of your lives, because His will is always better than our wishes.
Father, we lift up this dear one to You together in Jesus' name. You see the pain and the longing in her heart and You know the story of this past relationship. We thank You for giving her the courage to walk away from being unequally yoked, even though it hurt. Lord, we pray first for her ex. If he does not know You, we pray that You would draw him to salvation through Jesus Christ, that he would repent and believe and become a new creation, not for the sake of this relationship but for the sake of his soul and Your glory. If he has truly come to faith, we pray that You would make that fruit clear and that You would give wisdom to both of them. For our sister, we pray for healing, peace, and trust in Your plan. Help her to trust in You with all her heart, and not lean on her own understanding, and to acknowledge You in all her ways so that You will direct her paths. Proverbs 3:5-6. Teach her to seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness, trusting that all these things will be given to her as well. Matthew 6:33. Guard her heart from rushing ahead of You or from settling for less than a godly marriage that honors You. If it is Your will for them to be reunited in a Christ-centered courtship leading to marriage, make that path clear and open the doors that no man can shut. If it is not Your will, give her grace to let go and hope for the godly spouse You may have for her in the future. We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28. Give her wisdom as she waits, for if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5. Comfort her with Your presence and help her delight herself in You, trusting that You will give her the desires of her heart as she aligns her desires with Yours. Psalm 37:4. We ask all of this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior, amen.
We encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus during this season of waiting. Do not pursue a relationship in secret or reignite emotional or physical intimacy hoping faith has changed. If God is at work, He will make it evident in His timing and will provide godly counsel and confirmation. Surround yourself with wise believers, stay rooted in Scripture and prayer, and continue to grow in your own walk with Christ. Whether God allows you to be together in a future marriage or leads you to a different godly spouse, His plan for you is good and He will not withhold what is best for you as you walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11.
We were moved by your honesty and the way you honored what you believed was right even though it cost you this relationship. It makes sense that part of you still wonders and hopes, especially when you care for someone and wonder if God might have been at work in his life since.
We don't know what has changed for him, and we know you don't either yet. When restoration is real it usually shows over time in consistent choices and character, not just words, and it takes both people willing to walk in the same direction with the Lord. Giving that space to become clear can protect your heart from rushing toward hope before there is something solid to stand on.
A gentle next step could be to bring this to one trusted, mature believer who knows you well, a pastor or mentor, and let them walk with you in prayer and discernment as you consider whether any contact is wise and what healthy boundaries would look like.
Father, we lift our friend to you in Jesus name. Bring comfort in the loneliness, guard her heart with peace, and give her clear wisdom. If her ex has truly turned to you, make that evident in time, and guide both lives according to your good will. Above all draw her closer to you and keep her in your care. Amen.
We don't know what has changed for him, and we know you don't either yet. When restoration is real it usually shows over time in consistent choices and character, not just words, and it takes both people willing to walk in the same direction with the Lord. Giving that space to become clear can protect your heart from rushing toward hope before there is something solid to stand on.
A gentle next step could be to bring this to one trusted, mature believer who knows you well, a pastor or mentor, and let them walk with you in prayer and discernment as you consider whether any contact is wise and what healthy boundaries would look like.
Father, we lift our friend to you in Jesus name. Bring comfort in the loneliness, guard her heart with peace, and give her clear wisdom. If her ex has truly turned to you, make that evident in time, and guide both lives according to your good will. Above all draw her closer to you and keep her in your care. Amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
We have heard your burden and we thank God for the conscience that led you to step away from a union where Christ was not at the centre. That was a sorrowful but right course, for what concord has Christ with Belial and how can two walk together except they be agreed in the Lord. To part from one you cared for because he knew not the Saviour is a mark of love to God's law, and we pray that love will continue to give you great peace.
Your hope that his heart may have been changed is a tender one, and we will join you in praying for his soul above all else. Yet remember that salvation hinges upon the will of God and not upon the will of man. No man comes to Christ except the Spirit works in him to make him willing in the day of God's power. It is God who must plan it and work it and carry it to completion, divine from top to bottom. If this man is to be saved, it must be because God has wrought a true work, a real sense of the Fall, a real sight of Jesus as God's own salvation, and a new heart given that loves holiness and walks in good works. We cannot ask God to bless a reunion while he remains outside of Christ, for that would be to ask Him to bless what His Word warns against, the unequal yoke. But we can and do pray that if he be yet unsaved, the Lord would have mercy upon him, open his eyes to see Jesus, and bring him to simple faith where a look to Christ brings life. And if God has indeed saved him, that salvation will prove itself to be real and permanent, like fire in the bones, bearing fruit in a changed life, not in mere words.
And concerning your own future, the Scripture teaches us to say, If the Lord will, we shall do this or that. It is not for us to say, We will be together again, but to say, I will go or I will stay if it be the will of God. There is a providential will of God which we must consult with reverence, and a moral will revealed in His Word which we must not transgress. To seek marriage, which is the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, outside of shared faith in Jesus Christ, who alone is the way of salvation, is not His way for His children. Therefore we will pray that the Lord would guide you clearly, that you would desire holiness above happiness, and that you would be willing to resign even this dear hope to His wisdom, trusting that His plan for you is better than your own.
You speak of longing and uncertainty, and such times breed fear. When that fear rises, take up the word of David, What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee. If God has begun a good work in you, He will carry it on to the day of Christ. He will, with the temptation, make a way of escape, and He will turn even disappointment into instruction. The sting of affliction lies in rebellion against the Divine will, but when we love His law there is great peace, a quiet acquiescence in what He appoints.
Let us pray together.
O Father of mercies, we bless Thee for Thy salvation which is a great reality, true and unfading. We ask in the truth of Thy salvation that Thou wouldst save this man for whom our sister cares, if it be Thy sovereign pleasure. Work in him by Thy Spirit, convict him of sin, reveal to him Jesus crucified and risen, and give him a new heart that loves Thee and delights to walk in Thy ways. For our sister, grant great peace. Keep her from hasty steps, guard her heart, and help her to love Thy law and to rejoice in Thy salvation more than in any earthly prospect. If it be consistent with Thy holy Word and Thy providential leading, and if this man be truly brought to living faith and proven so in walk and fruit over time under godly counsel, then order their steps according to Thy wisdom. If not, give her contentment to remain in Thy will and to find her joy still in Christ. We ask all in the name of Jesus Christ, our only hope. Amen.
Your hope that his heart may have been changed is a tender one, and we will join you in praying for his soul above all else. Yet remember that salvation hinges upon the will of God and not upon the will of man. No man comes to Christ except the Spirit works in him to make him willing in the day of God's power. It is God who must plan it and work it and carry it to completion, divine from top to bottom. If this man is to be saved, it must be because God has wrought a true work, a real sense of the Fall, a real sight of Jesus as God's own salvation, and a new heart given that loves holiness and walks in good works. We cannot ask God to bless a reunion while he remains outside of Christ, for that would be to ask Him to bless what His Word warns against, the unequal yoke. But we can and do pray that if he be yet unsaved, the Lord would have mercy upon him, open his eyes to see Jesus, and bring him to simple faith where a look to Christ brings life. And if God has indeed saved him, that salvation will prove itself to be real and permanent, like fire in the bones, bearing fruit in a changed life, not in mere words.
And concerning your own future, the Scripture teaches us to say, If the Lord will, we shall do this or that. It is not for us to say, We will be together again, but to say, I will go or I will stay if it be the will of God. There is a providential will of God which we must consult with reverence, and a moral will revealed in His Word which we must not transgress. To seek marriage, which is the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, outside of shared faith in Jesus Christ, who alone is the way of salvation, is not His way for His children. Therefore we will pray that the Lord would guide you clearly, that you would desire holiness above happiness, and that you would be willing to resign even this dear hope to His wisdom, trusting that His plan for you is better than your own.
You speak of longing and uncertainty, and such times breed fear. When that fear rises, take up the word of David, What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee. If God has begun a good work in you, He will carry it on to the day of Christ. He will, with the temptation, make a way of escape, and He will turn even disappointment into instruction. The sting of affliction lies in rebellion against the Divine will, but when we love His law there is great peace, a quiet acquiescence in what He appoints.
Let us pray together.
O Father of mercies, we bless Thee for Thy salvation which is a great reality, true and unfading. We ask in the truth of Thy salvation that Thou wouldst save this man for whom our sister cares, if it be Thy sovereign pleasure. Work in him by Thy Spirit, convict him of sin, reveal to him Jesus crucified and risen, and give him a new heart that loves Thee and delights to walk in Thy ways. For our sister, grant great peace. Keep her from hasty steps, guard her heart, and help her to love Thy law and to rejoice in Thy salvation more than in any earthly prospect. If it be consistent with Thy holy Word and Thy providential leading, and if this man be truly brought to living faith and proven so in walk and fruit over time under godly counsel, then order their steps according to Thy wisdom. If not, give her contentment to remain in Thy will and to find her joy still in Christ. We ask all in the name of Jesus Christ, our only hope. Amen.
Similar Requests
This is probably a long shot but please pray that maybe somehow, my ex and I could get back together. We broke up because he wasn't a Christian. I hope that has changed by now. If it has, please pray that maybe God would allow us together. Thank you.
This is probably a long shot but please pray that maybe somehow, my ex and I could get back together. We broke up because he wasn't a Christian. I hope that has changed by now. If it has, please pray that maybe God would allow us together. Thank you.
This is probably a long shot but please pray that maybe somehow, my ex and I could get back together. We broke up because he wasn't a Christian. I hope that has changed by now. If it has, please pray that maybe God would allow us together. Thank you.
