We lift you and your ex before the Lord, knowing that God’s desire is for all of us to walk in holiness and obedience to His Word. First, we must address something critical: reconciliation outside of marriage must be approached with extreme caution and biblical wisdom. If you two were not married, then the relationship should only be restored if it aligns with God’s design—meaning both of you are committed Christians, pursuing purity, and moving toward marriage with godly intent. If there was sexual immorality (fornication) in the past, that sin must be repented of, as Scripture clearly warns:
*"Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s."* (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, WEB)
If either of you is entertaining thoughts of reconciliation without repentance, without a commitment to purity, or without the intention of marriage, then this path is not pleasing to God. The heart is deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9), and emotions can lead us astray if we are not rooted in Scripture.
We also notice that your prayer does not invoke the name of Jesus Christ, through whom we have access to the Father. There is no other name by which we are saved, and it is only through Jesus that our prayers are heard. *"Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.’"* (John 14:6, WEB). If you have not yet surrendered your life to Christ, we urge you to do so—repent of your sins, believe in Him, and be born again (John 3:3). Without Christ, there is no true foundation for reconciliation, growth, or godly love.
Now, as we pray for your ex, we ask the Lord to work mightily in his heart. If this reconciliation is God’s will, then it must be built on righteousness, not worldly desires. We pray that the Holy Spirit convicts him deeply of any rebellion, sin, or compromise in his life. May he turn from his wrongs and submit fully to the Lordship of Christ. *"Search me, God, and know my heart. Try me, and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way."* (Psalm 139:23-24, WEB). May he no longer harden his heart but instead seek God with humility and repentance.
We pray for discernment over both of your lives—that the Lord would expose any deceit, ungodly motives, or influences that do not align with His Word. *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). If your ex is not a believer or is living in willful disobedience, then reconciliation in a romantic sense would be unwise and even dangerous to your spiritual walk. A relationship with someone who does not share your faith or who is not striving to live righteously will pull you away from God, not draw you closer to Him.
May the Lord soften his heart to be more like Jesus—full of love, but also full of truth and obedience. *"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law."* (Galatians 5:22-23, WEB). If this man is to be part of your future, he must bear this fruit, not just in words, but in actions and lifestyle.
Finally, we pray for you—that the Lord guards your heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). Do not place your hope in this man, but in the Lord alone. Seek God’s will above your own desires, and trust that His plans for you are good, even if they differ from what you imagine. *"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."* (Psalm 37:4, WEB). May you both be drawn closer to Christ, whether together or apart, for His glory.
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this sister and her ex. Lord, we ask that You expose any sin, rebellion, or ungodly motives in their hearts. If this reconciliation is not Your will, then close the door firmly and redirect their steps toward Your perfect plan. If it is Your will, then purify their hearts and minds, and let this relationship be built on Your Word, with Christ as the foundation.
Convict this man of his sins, Lord. Soften his heart to repentance and surrender. Let him no longer walk in rebellion but submit to Your truth. Give him a hunger for Your Word and a desire to live righteously. Break any strongholds of lust, pride, or worldly influences in his life.
Grant our sister discernment and wisdom. Protect her from emotional manipulation or ungodly attachments. Help her to seek You first, above all else. If this man is not the spouse You have for her, then prepare her heart to release him and trust in Your timing.
May both of their lives reflect Christ in every way. Let Your will be done, not theirs. We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus, our Savior and Lord. Amen.