I broke up with an ex-boyfriend recently because we were severely unequally yoked. Due to certain reasons, he won't speak to me now so we haven't spoken in weeks. For some reason, last week and today have been very hard weeks for me in missing him. Please pray for me about this. Unless drastic changes happen in his life and beliefs, we can't be together. We were friends before this (at least I thought we were). I do really miss him as a friend. Thank you.
Ex-boyfriend
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We understand how heavy your heart feels right now and we lift you up together before the Father in Jesus' name. You made a difficult but biblically faithful decision, and we commend you for recognizing that you were unequally yoked. We know the grief that follows obedience can still be very real, especially when weeks of silence make the loss feel even deeper.
Scripture is clear that we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. Your desire to honor God in your courtship is right, because courtship should be entered with the goal of finding a godly spouse for a lifelong marriage between a man and a woman that honors the Lord, not simply a companion for a season. If he does not share your faith in Christ and your commitment to follow Him, then drastic change, that is true repentance and new life in Christ, would indeed be required before any future together could be considered. Without that, to return would be to step outside of God's will for a believer.
We also hear your ache in missing him, not only as someone you courted but as a friend. It is natural to grieve that loss. The Lord sees this sorrow and draws near to you. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 34:18. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3. We encourage you to pour out your heart honestly before Him, for He invites you to cast your burden on Yahweh and He will sustain you. Psalm 55:22. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7.
We want to gently encourage you to guard your heart in this season of missing him. Sometimes the enemy will use loneliness and nostalgia to tempt us to reconsider a relationship that God has shown is not right, or to seek comfort in ways that do not honor Him. If there was any physical intimacy outside of marriage, we urge you to bring that before the Lord in repentance, for God calls us to flee sexual immorality and to keep the marriage bed pure. 1 Corinthians 6:18, Hebrews 13:4. Even if that was not part of your relationship, keep clear boundaries now. A friendship immediately after a breakup, especially when one person will not speak to you, often prevents healing. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6. Allow God time to heal you and to make clear what any future friendship, if any, should look like. Bad company corrupts good morals. 1 Corinthians 15:33, so surround yourself now with godly fellowship that will strengthen your walk.
We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and that our prayers are heard. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12. If you have placed your faith in Jesus, that He died for your sins and rose again, and confessed Him as Lord, you can come boldly to God as His child. Romans 10:9. It is in His name we pray for you now.
We pray together for you.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we bring our sister before You. We thank You for her courage to obey Your Word and to step away from a relationship that was unequally yoked, even though it has brought pain and loneliness. Lord, comfort her in these hard weeks where missing him feels overwhelming. Heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds. Fill the ache of missing friendship with Your presence, for You have said You will never leave us nor forsake us. Isaiah 41:10. Grant her Your peace that surpasses all understanding to guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Give her wisdom to not lean on her own feelings but to trust in Your good plan, for we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28. Help her to seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness, trusting that You will provide what she needs in Your perfect timing. Matthew 6:33. If it is Your will, bring this young man to true repentance and faith in Jesus, but help her to not wait for or pursue a relationship that would dishonor You. Strengthen her with godly community, with Your Word, and with hope that You have a future for her that is good. Jeremiah 29:11. Keep her pure, keep her close to You, and let her find her wholeness in Christ alone, for You are the strength of her heart. Psalm 73:26. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus, our only hope and Savior, amen.
We encourage you to stay rooted in Scripture daily, to stay connected to a Bible believing church family, and to allow godly women to walk with you through this grief. God is faithful and He sees your obedience. He will sustain you through this valley and lead you in His perfect will for a godly marriage in His time if that is His plan for you.
Scripture is clear that we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. Your desire to honor God in your courtship is right, because courtship should be entered with the goal of finding a godly spouse for a lifelong marriage between a man and a woman that honors the Lord, not simply a companion for a season. If he does not share your faith in Christ and your commitment to follow Him, then drastic change, that is true repentance and new life in Christ, would indeed be required before any future together could be considered. Without that, to return would be to step outside of God's will for a believer.
We also hear your ache in missing him, not only as someone you courted but as a friend. It is natural to grieve that loss. The Lord sees this sorrow and draws near to you. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 34:18. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3. We encourage you to pour out your heart honestly before Him, for He invites you to cast your burden on Yahweh and He will sustain you. Psalm 55:22. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7.
We want to gently encourage you to guard your heart in this season of missing him. Sometimes the enemy will use loneliness and nostalgia to tempt us to reconsider a relationship that God has shown is not right, or to seek comfort in ways that do not honor Him. If there was any physical intimacy outside of marriage, we urge you to bring that before the Lord in repentance, for God calls us to flee sexual immorality and to keep the marriage bed pure. 1 Corinthians 6:18, Hebrews 13:4. Even if that was not part of your relationship, keep clear boundaries now. A friendship immediately after a breakup, especially when one person will not speak to you, often prevents healing. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6. Allow God time to heal you and to make clear what any future friendship, if any, should look like. Bad company corrupts good morals. 1 Corinthians 15:33, so surround yourself now with godly fellowship that will strengthen your walk.
We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and that our prayers are heard. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12. If you have placed your faith in Jesus, that He died for your sins and rose again, and confessed Him as Lord, you can come boldly to God as His child. Romans 10:9. It is in His name we pray for you now.
We pray together for you.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we bring our sister before You. We thank You for her courage to obey Your Word and to step away from a relationship that was unequally yoked, even though it has brought pain and loneliness. Lord, comfort her in these hard weeks where missing him feels overwhelming. Heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds. Fill the ache of missing friendship with Your presence, for You have said You will never leave us nor forsake us. Isaiah 41:10. Grant her Your peace that surpasses all understanding to guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Give her wisdom to not lean on her own feelings but to trust in Your good plan, for we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28. Help her to seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness, trusting that You will provide what she needs in Your perfect timing. Matthew 6:33. If it is Your will, bring this young man to true repentance and faith in Jesus, but help her to not wait for or pursue a relationship that would dishonor You. Strengthen her with godly community, with Your Word, and with hope that You have a future for her that is good. Jeremiah 29:11. Keep her pure, keep her close to You, and let her find her wholeness in Christ alone, for You are the strength of her heart. Psalm 73:26. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus, our only hope and Savior, amen.
We encourage you to stay rooted in Scripture daily, to stay connected to a Bible believing church family, and to allow godly women to walk with you through this grief. God is faithful and He sees your obedience. He will sustain you through this valley and lead you in His perfect will for a godly marriage in His time if that is His plan for you.
We're thankful you shared this so honestly. Choosing to step away because you were unequally yoked takes real courage, and it makes sense that courage and grief can live side by side. Missing him, especially as a friend, doesn't mean you made the wrong choice. It just shows the friendship mattered and that loss takes time to settle.
It's common for the ache to come in waves. Some weeks feel steadier and then a week like this one feels heavy again without a clear reason. That up and down is normal, not a sign you are going backwards.
Since he has asked for no contact right now, one gentle way to guard your heart in these waves is to have a plan before the loneliness spikes. When you feel that pull to reach out, you might pause and turn toward another safe connection instead, a trusted friend, a small group, a walk or time in worship with other believers. It gives the feeling somewhere to go without reopening a door that isn't healthy to open right now. Over time those other connections help the loneliness lift.
We also want you to be kind to yourself on the hard days. Rest, get outside, stay engaged where you are known and supported.
Father, we lift our sister to You in Jesus' name. Comfort her in this lonely stretch, steady her heart when she misses her friend, and give her wisdom and peace as she keeps following You. Surround her with faithful community and draw her close to Your presence each day. Amen.
It's common for the ache to come in waves. Some weeks feel steadier and then a week like this one feels heavy again without a clear reason. That up and down is normal, not a sign you are going backwards.
Since he has asked for no contact right now, one gentle way to guard your heart in these waves is to have a plan before the loneliness spikes. When you feel that pull to reach out, you might pause and turn toward another safe connection instead, a trusted friend, a small group, a walk or time in worship with other believers. It gives the feeling somewhere to go without reopening a door that isn't healthy to open right now. Over time those other connections help the loneliness lift.
We also want you to be kind to yourself on the hard days. Rest, get outside, stay engaged where you are known and supported.
Father, we lift our sister to You in Jesus' name. Comfort her in this lonely stretch, steady her heart when she misses her friend, and give her wisdom and peace as she keeps following You. Surround her with faithful community and draw her close to Your presence each day. Amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your honesty before the Lord in this matter is itself a mercy, and we thank God for the grace that enabled you to choose obedience though it has cost you tears. To break a bond because you would not be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever is to take up the yoke of Christ, and that yoke, though it denies the heart what it craves, denies you nothing but what would be injurious to your soul. The sorrow you feel in these hard weeks, the missing of one who was once a friend and more, is not a small thing, and the Lord does not despise it.
You are walking in a loneliness which the Savior knows full well. When He came to His agony He was left alone, even when as Man He pined for human sympathy, and His own disciples could not watch with Him. There are seasons when the Christian must stand alone for conscience sake, and when the heart feels the sharpness of that separation. Remember that He who was forsaken that you might never be forsaken is near you now, and He understands the weight of this quiet grief more intimately than any other.
Scripture warns, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, not to make the path hard, but to keep the soul from a harder and more lasting sorrow. That first loss which obedience requires is vastly less than the after losses which come from seeking to avoid it. To have turned aside from that precept would have brought a heavier yoke, one that chafes and crushes. The yoke of Christ is easy and His burden is light, not because it never costs, but because He bears it with you and makes obedience the way of peace.
For your healing, look to Christ Himself. The leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations, and the least thing about Christ has healing virtue in it. Your wound is of the heart, and we are quick to seek a physician for the body while the soul bleeds in silence, but there is a balm in Gilead. Pardon and healing go together in His hands. He binds up the brokenhearted, and He does not merely staunch the wound but changes the life blood and makes the nature new. Seek His company in the Word and in prayer, and in the fellowship of His people who can watch with you when the night feels long.
We will pray for you, that the Lord will heal your wounded heart, guard you in this season of tender memory, and keep you steadfast in the good choice you have made. We will ask Him to draw you nearer to Himself, to fill the loneliness with His presence, to surround you with godly friends and counsel, and to give you daily strength to walk in purity and faith. We will also pray for this young man, that God in His mercy would work in his life and bring him, if He has not already, to true repentance and saving faith in Jesus Christ alone, for without that no other change will stand. We do not ask God to bless or restore a relationship which His Word calls unequally yoked, but we do ask Him to do what is holy and good and healing for you both, according to His perfect will. May the Sun of Righteousness rise upon you with healing in His wings, and may you find your rest not in what has been lost, but in Him who will never leave you nor forsake you.
You are walking in a loneliness which the Savior knows full well. When He came to His agony He was left alone, even when as Man He pined for human sympathy, and His own disciples could not watch with Him. There are seasons when the Christian must stand alone for conscience sake, and when the heart feels the sharpness of that separation. Remember that He who was forsaken that you might never be forsaken is near you now, and He understands the weight of this quiet grief more intimately than any other.
Scripture warns, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, not to make the path hard, but to keep the soul from a harder and more lasting sorrow. That first loss which obedience requires is vastly less than the after losses which come from seeking to avoid it. To have turned aside from that precept would have brought a heavier yoke, one that chafes and crushes. The yoke of Christ is easy and His burden is light, not because it never costs, but because He bears it with you and makes obedience the way of peace.
For your healing, look to Christ Himself. The leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations, and the least thing about Christ has healing virtue in it. Your wound is of the heart, and we are quick to seek a physician for the body while the soul bleeds in silence, but there is a balm in Gilead. Pardon and healing go together in His hands. He binds up the brokenhearted, and He does not merely staunch the wound but changes the life blood and makes the nature new. Seek His company in the Word and in prayer, and in the fellowship of His people who can watch with you when the night feels long.
We will pray for you, that the Lord will heal your wounded heart, guard you in this season of tender memory, and keep you steadfast in the good choice you have made. We will ask Him to draw you nearer to Himself, to fill the loneliness with His presence, to surround you with godly friends and counsel, and to give you daily strength to walk in purity and faith. We will also pray for this young man, that God in His mercy would work in his life and bring him, if He has not already, to true repentance and saving faith in Jesus Christ alone, for without that no other change will stand. We do not ask God to bless or restore a relationship which His Word calls unequally yoked, but we do ask Him to do what is holy and good and healing for you both, according to His perfect will. May the Sun of Righteousness rise upon you with healing in His wings, and may you find your rest not in what has been lost, but in Him who will never leave you nor forsake you.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying for this request in Jesus Name.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing this so honestly. The ache you describe in missing him, especially the friendship you once shared, is real and understandable, and it is right to bring that sorrow to the Lord.
Your decision to step away because you were severely unequally yoked shows wisdom and a desire to tremble at God's word. Scripture warns us about being yoked together with an unbeliever, and it is like trying to yoke a winged horse together with a burdened animal that only wants to stay on the ground. Neither can run as God intends, and the one who wants to fly is constantly pulled down. To recognize that and to act on it, even when it costs you companionship and brings loneliness, is a mark of a contrite and humble heart that God does not despise.
I will pray for you, not that God would bless a relationship outside of His design for marriage and faith, but that He would meet you in this hard season with His comfort and clarity.
I pray that the Lord will give you peace in the weeks when missing him feels especially heavy, that He will guard your heart and keep you pure as you wait on Him, without spot or wrinkle, and that He will teach you to walk worthily of your calling with all lowliness and meekness and long suffering. I pray He will heal the grief of losing both a boyfriend and a friend, give you strength where there has been silence between you, and fill the empty place with His own nearness and with healthy fellowship in the body of Christ.
I also pray for your ex-boyfriend, that if he does not know Christ, God would draw him to salvation through Jesus alone, which is the only drastic change that could ever make a future together right before God. Whether or not God ever restores any form of friendship, I pray you will be able to entrust both his life and your own future to the Lord with a poor in spirit trust that says, let His will be done.
You have done the right thing in seeking prayer instead of holding this alone. Keep bringing this burden to Him daily, stay rooted in Scripture and in community, and give yourself time and space to grieve. The Lord sees your lowliness of heart and your desire to honor Him, and He is near to those who are brokenhearted.
Your decision to step away because you were severely unequally yoked shows wisdom and a desire to tremble at God's word. Scripture warns us about being yoked together with an unbeliever, and it is like trying to yoke a winged horse together with a burdened animal that only wants to stay on the ground. Neither can run as God intends, and the one who wants to fly is constantly pulled down. To recognize that and to act on it, even when it costs you companionship and brings loneliness, is a mark of a contrite and humble heart that God does not despise.
I will pray for you, not that God would bless a relationship outside of His design for marriage and faith, but that He would meet you in this hard season with His comfort and clarity.
I pray that the Lord will give you peace in the weeks when missing him feels especially heavy, that He will guard your heart and keep you pure as you wait on Him, without spot or wrinkle, and that He will teach you to walk worthily of your calling with all lowliness and meekness and long suffering. I pray He will heal the grief of losing both a boyfriend and a friend, give you strength where there has been silence between you, and fill the empty place with His own nearness and with healthy fellowship in the body of Christ.
I also pray for your ex-boyfriend, that if he does not know Christ, God would draw him to salvation through Jesus alone, which is the only drastic change that could ever make a future together right before God. Whether or not God ever restores any form of friendship, I pray you will be able to entrust both his life and your own future to the Lord with a poor in spirit trust that says, let His will be done.
You have done the right thing in seeking prayer instead of holding this alone. Keep bringing this burden to Him daily, stay rooted in Scripture and in community, and give yourself time and space to grieve. The Lord sees your lowliness of heart and your desire to honor Him, and He is near to those who are brokenhearted.
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