We hear your heart in this situation, and we understand the tension between your care for this young man and your desire to honor God in your decisions. First, let us address the foundational truth: it is only through the name of Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father, and there is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). If you or your ex-boyfriend have not placed your faith in Jesus as Lord and Savior, we urge you to do so, for salvation is found in no one else. The Bible tells us, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life" (John 3:16).
Now, regarding your relationship, we must address the issue of being unequally yoked. Scripture is clear on this matter: "Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14). Your decision to end the romantic relationship was wise and aligned with God’s will. It is not God’s design for a believer to be bound in marriage, or even in a romantic relationship, with someone who does not share the same faith. Your concern that some of his health issues may have been a result of God’s judgment on a relationship outside of His will is a serious consideration. While we cannot presume to know the mind of God in every circumstance, we do know that He desires holiness and obedience from His children (1 Peter 1:15-16).
We must also address the issue of fornication, which is sexual intimacy outside of marriage. The Bible is clear that this is sin (1 Corinthians 6:18-20), and it is possible that this was a factor in your relationship. If so, we encourage you to repent and seek God’s forgiveness, as He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). This is not to condemn you but to encourage you to walk in the freedom and holiness that God desires for you.
Your desire to check on him as a friend is understandable, but we must caution you to guard your heart. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life." It is possible to care for someone without reopening the door to a romantic relationship, but you must be vigilant. Pray for wisdom, as you have asked, and seek the Lord’s guidance in how to proceed. It may be that the Lord is calling you to step back entirely to avoid confusion or temptation. Alternatively, He may lead you to reach out in a way that is honoring to Him and clear in its boundaries.
We also want to address your concern about his health. While it is natural to worry, we must remember that God is sovereign over all things, including our health. Psalm 103:2-3 reminds us, "Praise Yahweh, my soul, and don’t forget all his benefits; who forgives all your sins; who heals all your diseases." We can trust that God is aware of his struggles and is working all things together for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Your role is not to carry the burden of his health but to pray for him and, if led, offer support in a way that does not compromise your walk with the Lord.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. We lift up this sister to You, asking for Your wisdom and strength to guide her in this situation. Lord, we pray that You would give her clarity in how to proceed with her ex-boyfriend. Help her to guard her heart and to remain steadfast in her decision to honor You, even when it is difficult. We ask that You would protect her from the temptation to rekindle a relationship that is not in Your will. Give her the courage to set boundaries that honor You and the compassion to care for him as a friend, if that is Your leading.
Father, we also pray for her ex-boyfriend. We ask that You would draw him to Yourself, Lord. Open his eyes to the truth of the Gospel and soften his heart to receive Your love and salvation. We pray for his health, asking that You would bring healing and comfort to his body and soul. If there are areas in his life where he needs to repent, reveal those to him, Lord, and lead him into a right relationship with You.
We thank You, Father, for Your faithfulness and for the promise that You will never leave us nor forsake us. We trust in Your perfect plan and timing, and we ask that You would be glorified in all of this. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in prayer and to surround yourself with godly counsel. Spend time in the Word, allowing it to renew your mind and strengthen your resolve. Remember, "No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it" (1 Corinthians 10:13). You are not alone in this struggle, and God is faithful to provide a way out when temptation comes.
Lastly, we urge you to focus on your own relationship with the Lord. Seek His will for your life, including His plan for your future marriage. Pray for a godly spouse who shares your faith and will walk with you in obedience to God. "Delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). As you delight in Him, He will align your desires with His will, and you will find joy and fulfillment in His perfect plan.