One reason I always appreciated my ex-boyfriend before we dated was because he was someone who was always kind to me. Very rarely was he influenced by the spiritual warfare that has been targeting me through other people for years to be unkind. And now, I've ruined that. I've hurt him and ruined that. All because I allowed the relationship when I knew it wasn't in God's will. I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT WASN'T. Because I wanted attention. Because I wanted what I wanted. I love him so much but I knew I shouldn't have done this. And now, I have caused so much damage and he may never speak to me again. I wish I could just die. I hate myself. I ruin everything. Why am I even alive? Why did God let me be born? I suck at life. I can't be trusted to make any right decisions. I hate myself so much and I hope my boyfriend knows that. I hope he doesn't think I'm happy right now. I'm not. I am miserable.
Ex-Boyfriend
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We hear the deep anguish in your heart, and we want you to know that your pain is seen and held before the Lord. The weight of regret and self-condemnation you’re carrying is heavy, but Scripture tells us, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18). You are not alone in this struggle, and your honesty before God is the first step toward healing.
First, we must address the foundation of your relationship. You acknowledged that you knew this relationship was not in God’s will, yet you pursued it for your own desires. This is a painful but important truth to confront. The Bible warns us, "Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap" (Galatians 6:7). When we ignore God’s design for relationships, whether through premarital intimacy, emotional dependency, or simply disregarding His leading, we open ourselves to consequences that can wound us and others deeply. But here is the hope: God’s grace is greater than our failures. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). You are not defined by this mistake, though it may feel overwhelming right now.
Your words about wishing you could die and questioning why God allowed you to be born are heartbreaking. We must rebuke the lies of the enemy that seek to convince you that your life has no value or purpose. The truth is, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart" (Jeremiah 1:5). God has a plan for you, even in this pain. Your life matters to Him, and He is not finished with you yet. The enemy wants you to believe that you are beyond redemption, but Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross covers even this. "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39).
We also want to gently address the sexual aspect of your relationship with your ex-boyfriend. If there was any physical intimacy outside of marriage, this is not something to be taken lightly. The Bible calls this fornication, and it is a sin that grieves the heart of God because it distorts His design for love and commitment. "Flee sexual immorality. Every other sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s" (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). This does not mean your situation is hopeless, far from it. But it does mean that repentance and turning away from this sin is necessary for true healing and restoration.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious child of Yours who is drowning in regret, shame, and despair. Lord, we ask that You would break the chains of self-hatred and condemnation that the enemy has wrapped around her. Your Word says that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1), and we claim that truth over her life. Father, we ask for Your forgiveness to wash over her like a cleansing flood. Help her to see herself through Your eyes, as a beloved daughter, redeemed by the blood of Jesus, and not as the sum of her mistakes.
Lord, we pray for her ex-boyfriend, that You would heal his heart and guard him from bitterness or unforgiveness. If it is Your will, we ask that You would restore what has been broken, but only in a way that honors You and aligns with Your perfect plan. Give him the strength to extend grace if that is what You are calling him to do, and give her the humility to accept whatever Your will is in this situation.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of despair that is whispering lies to her. We declare that her life has purpose and that You are not done writing her story. Help her to surrender her desires, her relationships, and her future into Your hands. Teach her to seek You first above all else, and to trust that You will direct her paths (Proverbs 3:5-6). Surround her with godly community, believers who will speak truth into her life, hold her accountable, and remind her of Your love.
Lord, if there has been sexual sin in this relationship, we ask for Your forgiveness and healing. Cleanse her heart and mind, and help her to honor You with her body moving forward. Give her the strength to flee temptation and to pursue purity in all areas of her life.
Above all, Father, we ask that You would draw her closer to You. Let this pain be the catalyst that turns her heart fully toward You. Remind her that You are near to the brokenhearted and that You collect every tear she cries (Psalm 56:8). Fill her with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, and let her rest in the knowledge that You are working all things together for her good (Romans 8:28).
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who bore our sins and shame on the cross so that we could live in freedom. Amen.
Now, dear sister, we want to encourage you with some practical steps forward. First, spend time in God’s Word daily. Meditate on Scriptures that speak of His love, forgiveness, and purpose for your life. Psalm 139, Romans 8, and Lamentations 3 are good places to start. Second, seek out a trusted pastor, counselor, or mature believer who can walk alongside you in this season. You do not have to carry this burden alone. Third, if you have not already, make a conscious decision to turn away from any sin in your life, whether it’s sexual immorality, emotional dependency, or any other area where you’ve strayed from God’s will. Repentance is not a one-time event; it’s a daily posture of surrender to God.
Lastly, we want to leave you with this truth: Your worth is not found in your mistakes or in the approval of others. Your worth is found in Christ alone. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come" (2 Corinthians 5:17). You are not ruined. You are redeemed. And God is not finished with you yet. Keep pressing into Him, and allow His grace to meet you in this place of pain. You are loved more than you know.
First, we must address the foundation of your relationship. You acknowledged that you knew this relationship was not in God’s will, yet you pursued it for your own desires. This is a painful but important truth to confront. The Bible warns us, "Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap" (Galatians 6:7). When we ignore God’s design for relationships, whether through premarital intimacy, emotional dependency, or simply disregarding His leading, we open ourselves to consequences that can wound us and others deeply. But here is the hope: God’s grace is greater than our failures. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). You are not defined by this mistake, though it may feel overwhelming right now.
Your words about wishing you could die and questioning why God allowed you to be born are heartbreaking. We must rebuke the lies of the enemy that seek to convince you that your life has no value or purpose. The truth is, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart" (Jeremiah 1:5). God has a plan for you, even in this pain. Your life matters to Him, and He is not finished with you yet. The enemy wants you to believe that you are beyond redemption, but Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross covers even this. "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39).
We also want to gently address the sexual aspect of your relationship with your ex-boyfriend. If there was any physical intimacy outside of marriage, this is not something to be taken lightly. The Bible calls this fornication, and it is a sin that grieves the heart of God because it distorts His design for love and commitment. "Flee sexual immorality. Every other sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s" (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). This does not mean your situation is hopeless, far from it. But it does mean that repentance and turning away from this sin is necessary for true healing and restoration.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious child of Yours who is drowning in regret, shame, and despair. Lord, we ask that You would break the chains of self-hatred and condemnation that the enemy has wrapped around her. Your Word says that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1), and we claim that truth over her life. Father, we ask for Your forgiveness to wash over her like a cleansing flood. Help her to see herself through Your eyes, as a beloved daughter, redeemed by the blood of Jesus, and not as the sum of her mistakes.
Lord, we pray for her ex-boyfriend, that You would heal his heart and guard him from bitterness or unforgiveness. If it is Your will, we ask that You would restore what has been broken, but only in a way that honors You and aligns with Your perfect plan. Give him the strength to extend grace if that is what You are calling him to do, and give her the humility to accept whatever Your will is in this situation.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of despair that is whispering lies to her. We declare that her life has purpose and that You are not done writing her story. Help her to surrender her desires, her relationships, and her future into Your hands. Teach her to seek You first above all else, and to trust that You will direct her paths (Proverbs 3:5-6). Surround her with godly community, believers who will speak truth into her life, hold her accountable, and remind her of Your love.
Lord, if there has been sexual sin in this relationship, we ask for Your forgiveness and healing. Cleanse her heart and mind, and help her to honor You with her body moving forward. Give her the strength to flee temptation and to pursue purity in all areas of her life.
Above all, Father, we ask that You would draw her closer to You. Let this pain be the catalyst that turns her heart fully toward You. Remind her that You are near to the brokenhearted and that You collect every tear she cries (Psalm 56:8). Fill her with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, and let her rest in the knowledge that You are working all things together for her good (Romans 8:28).
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who bore our sins and shame on the cross so that we could live in freedom. Amen.
Now, dear sister, we want to encourage you with some practical steps forward. First, spend time in God’s Word daily. Meditate on Scriptures that speak of His love, forgiveness, and purpose for your life. Psalm 139, Romans 8, and Lamentations 3 are good places to start. Second, seek out a trusted pastor, counselor, or mature believer who can walk alongside you in this season. You do not have to carry this burden alone. Third, if you have not already, make a conscious decision to turn away from any sin in your life, whether it’s sexual immorality, emotional dependency, or any other area where you’ve strayed from God’s will. Repentance is not a one-time event; it’s a daily posture of surrender to God.
Lastly, we want to leave you with this truth: Your worth is not found in your mistakes or in the approval of others. Your worth is found in Christ alone. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come" (2 Corinthians 5:17). You are not ruined. You are redeemed. And God is not finished with you yet. Keep pressing into Him, and allow His grace to meet you in this place of pain. You are loved more than you know.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
I prayed for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.
Similar Requests
I recently broke with an ex boyfriend due to us being unequally yoked among some other issues that arose. Although I miss talking with him every day, I am trying to give him space because I think reaching out too much will make it hard for him to move on. After our conversation ended yesterday...
Please pray that maybe I'll hear back from my ex-boyfriend today. I tried to check on him yesterday and he didn't respond. I lost my friend. I lost my best friend. 💔
Please pray for me as I think I made the wrong decision in breaking up with my boyfriend. I don't know. I'm in so much turmoil. I tried to reach out and check on him today (we broke up two days ago) and he didn't respond yet and I don't think he will. 💔 Please pray for me about all this. Thank you.
