Emotional Affair

[Anonymous]

Protection for my marriage from emotional affairs, we both have been there, one of us with the best friend of the other

Monitoring spirits, the best friend knew about our marriage because one of us trusted them to know all the intricate details and the best friend used that to get close to one of us and unfortunately one of us failed to recognize it and fell short. The best friend is still around using the emotional affair as black mail and the secrets from the other as black mail.

Renewal of our vows. We both want to be together and need coverage for our marriage. We both have cheated emotionally, lied to one another, kept secrets and so on. Both are afraid to reveal to one another our faults because we both are scared to lose one another. Because we both have an issue with forgiveness and we both know we would let it linger. Our 20 yr is coming up and we are asking for renewal in our marriage. We have 3 kids and we both want our family. Praying for renewal, removal of people who are not conducive to our marriage, love, faithfulness, grace, mercy, commitment, forgiveness, compassion, longevity, loyalty and so on. Also to come together as a unit. We have been operating against one another for years because we weren’t taught to love.

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep pain and brokenness in your marriage, and we stand with you before the Lord, lifting up your hearts and this sacred covenant you made before Him. Marriage is a reflection of Christ’s love for the Church, a love that is selfless, sacrificial, and unbreakable (Ephesians 5:25-33). Yet we know the enemy seeks to destroy what God has joined together (Matthew 19:6), and he often uses deception, secrecy, and emotional entanglements to do so. The emotional affair you both experienced is a grievous sin, not only against each other but against God, who calls us to purity in heart, mind, and body (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). The fact that it involved a "best friend", someone entrusted with intimate details of your marriage, makes this betrayal even more painful, for it was a violation of trust on multiple levels.

We must address the seriousness of what has happened. Emotional affairs are not harmless; they are adultery of the heart (Matthew 5:28). The secrecy, lies, and manipulation that followed only deepened the wound. The enemy has used this person as a tool to divide you, and now they seek to hold power over you through blackmail, a tactic straight from the pit of hell. We rebuke the spirit of manipulation, control, and division in Jesus’ name! We declare that no weapon formed against your marriage shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and we command every ungodly soul tie with this individual to be broken now in the name of Jesus. The Lord says in His Word, "Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good character" (1 Corinthians 15:33). This person has proven they are not for your marriage, and we pray for their removal from your lives, not out of bitterness, but for the protection of what God is restoring.

You both have confessed your failures, and that is the first step toward healing. But true repentance requires more than words; it requires a turning away from sin and a turning toward God (Acts 3:19). You cannot rebuild your marriage on secrets, fear, or the lingering weight of unforgiveness. The Lord calls us to confess our sins to one another and pray for one another so that we may be healed (James 5:16). This means laying down your pride, your fear of rejection, and your past hurts at the feet of Jesus. It means choosing to believe that His grace is greater than your sin (Romans 5:20). You must come clean with each other, not to punish, but to heal. Not to accuse, but to restore. The enemy wants you to keep these things hidden so he can continue to torment you, but the truth will set you free (John 8:32).

We also must address the root of why this happened. You mentioned that you both "weren’t taught to love." This is a profound truth. Love is not just a feeling; it is a choice, a commitment, and a daily laying down of self for the good of the other (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Many of us enter marriage without understanding what true, Christ-like love looks like. But the good news is that God can teach you. He can rewrite your story. He can take what was meant for evil and turn it for good (Genesis 50:20). But you must invite Him into every part of your marriage, your communication, your intimacy, your conflicts, and your dreams. You must seek Him together, not just as individuals.

Your desire to renew your vows is beautiful and godly. This is not just a symbolic gesture; it is a recommitment to the covenant you made before God. But let this renewal be more than words. Let it be a turning point where you both say, "No more secrets. No more lies. No more operating against each other. From this day forward, we fight for our marriage, not against it." The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). He is ready to heal you, but you must surrender to His process.

We pray for you now, in the mighty name of Jesus:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this marriage that You have joined together. Lord, we confess the sin of emotional adultery, the lies, the secrets, and the fear that have kept this couple bound. We ask for Your forgiveness, and we thank You that Your mercy is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). We rebuke the enemy’s schemes to destroy this family, and we declare that no weapon formed against them shall prosper. We break every ungodly soul tie with the person who sought to divide them, and we command that spirit of manipulation and control to leave now in Jesus’ name.

Father, we ask for a fresh outpouring of Your Holy Spirit over this marriage. Heal their hearts from the pain of betrayal. Teach them how to love each other as Christ loves the Church, selflessly, patiently, and without keeping record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5). Give them the courage to confess their faults to one another and the grace to forgive as You have forgiven them (Colossians 3:13). Remove the fear of rejection and replace it with the security of Your love.

Lord, we pray for renewal in their vows. Let this be a moment where they recommit not just to each other, but to You. Show them how to build their marriage on the foundation of Your Word, where love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). Protect them from future temptations, and give them wisdom in their friendships. Surround them with godly counsel and accountability.

We pray for their children, Lord. Guard their hearts from the effects of this struggle. Let them see their parents’ repentance and restoration as a testimony of Your redeeming power. Knit this family together as a unit, operating in unity, love, and purpose.

Father, we ask for a supernatural work in their marriage. Where there has been division, bring unity. Where there has been hurt, bring healing. Where there has been fear, bring faith. Where there has been sin, bring forgiveness. We declare that this marriage will not only survive but thrive for Your glory. May it be a light to others, showing the power of Your grace and the beauty of covenant love.

We pray all of this in the powerful, matchless name of Jesus Christ, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, the One who makes all things new (Revelation 21:5). Amen.

Now, dear ones, take these steps in faith:

1. Confess and Repent: Sit down together, without distractions, and confess your faults to one another. Do not hold back out of fear, but trust that God is working in this moment. Ask for forgiveness, and extend it to each other. Remember, forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.

2. Cut Off Ungodly Influences: Distance yourselves from the person who has been a source of division. This may be painful, but it is necessary for your healing. Pray for them, but do not allow them access to your marriage.

3. Seek Godly Counsel: Find a pastor, mentor, or Christian counselor who can walk with you through this restoration process. Proverbs 11:14 says, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."

4. Renew Your Vows with Purpose: When you renew your vows, do not just exchange words. Write them down. Make them specific. Include promises to love, honor, and cherish, not just in word, but in action. And invite the Lord to be the center of your marriage.

5. Pray Together Daily: This is the most powerful thing you can do. Pray for each other, with each other. Pray for your children. Pray for protection over your marriage. The enemy trembles when God’s people pray.

6. Study God’s Design for Marriage: Read Scripture together. Study Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 13, and Song of Solomon. Let God’s Word shape your understanding of love, submission, and intimacy.

7. Serve One Another: Love is not just a feeling; it is action. Look for ways to serve each other daily. Wash each other’s feet, so to speak (John 13:14). When you serve, you fight against selfishness, which is the root of so many marital struggles.

You are not alone in this. The God who parted the Red Sea, who raised Jesus from the dead, is the same God who is working in your marriage. He specializes in taking broken things and making them whole. Trust Him. Lean on Him. And watch as He does exceedingly, abundantly above all you could ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).

 

[hostadmin]

We can hear how much you both want to stay together, even after the hurts, the secrets, and the fear of what revealing the truth might cost. That shared desire is not nothing; it’s something God can work with. You’re not alone in this, and we are standing with you in prayer as you reach toward renewal.

You mentioned both being afraid to be fully honest because you know unforgiveness tends to linger. That fear is real, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the story. One thing we’ve learned is that forgiveness often has to start as a deliberate choice, a decision to release the debt, even while the hurt still feels fresh. The deeper emotional healing can come over time, especially when a couple has the right support. It’s not about pretending the pain never happened; it’s about refusing to let it define your future together.

Given the weight of what you’re carrying, the emotional affairs, the blackmail, and the deep patterns of operating against one another, this is one of those seasons where outside help can make all the difference. We’d gently encourage you to seek a Christian marriage counselor who has experience with affair recovery. A skilled counselor can provide a structured, safe space to share the secrets that need to come into the light, without the conversation spinning into the destructive cycles you both dread. They can also help you think through how to handle the person who is using knowledge of the affair as blackmail, that’s a threat to your marriage that needs firm, wise handling.

As you look toward your 20th anniversary, you don’t have to have it all figured out first. You just need to take the next honest step together. God is in the business of renewing what feels broken, and we’re so glad you’re asking for coverage and courage.

Let’s pray now:
Father, thank you that this couple still wants each other and their family. Protect their marriage from any person or situation that threatens it, silence the voice of blackmail and remove any power it holds. Give them a safe path to uncover what has been hidden, with wisdom and care. Build in them the kind of forgiveness that starts as a decision and grows into healing. Bring trustworthy people around them, a wise counselor, faithful friends, to help them learn a new way of loving. For their children and for the vows they long to renew, bind them together in honesty, grace, and lasting loyalty. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

[Anonymous]

I am in tears. Thank you

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[bobr69]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

There is a pit of destruction that opens its mouth for every household where secret sin and unforgiveness crouch at the door, but God has declared, "Deliver him from going down to the Pit: I have found a ransom." You both know the weight of guilt and the snare of an emotional entanglement that the adversary has twisted into chains of blackmail and fear. Yet hear this: the Lord who chastens you as a father does not cast off His children. The fiery trial you are enduring is not the punishment of a judge but the refining hand of a God who loves you and who has provided a ransom in Christ Jesus for every sin, even these sins that now make you afraid to face one another.

You say you have both failed; you have lied, kept secrets, harboured bitterness, and lived as though forgiveness were a myth. But listen: there is forgiveness with God, that He may be feared. He blots out transgression for His own sake and will not remember your sins. If the eternal God, against whom all sin is ultimately committed, can cast your iniquities into the depths of the sea, how dare you two, who are bone of each other's bone, hold fast to an unforgiving spirit? The moment you tremble and with a penitent heart desire forgiveness, He meets you with full and free pardon. And the pardon He gives is meant to flow through you, a stream of mercy to one another.

The evil one will keep you in bondage as long as you hide from each other. That dark companion who whispers secrets and threatens exposure is a liar and a murderer. The best friend who betrayed trust must be cut off, not with malice, but with the firm resolve of those who have been delivered from the power of darkness. You cannot walk in renewed vows while that viper remains warm at your hearth. Pray that God would remove every person and influence that is not conducive to your marriage, and then act in obedience. Break the yoke of silence. Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The fear of losing each other is the very chain that holds you apart. But perfect love casts out fear, and that love is born of the forgiveness you have first received from Christ.

These twenty years have seen much wounding because, as you say, you were not taught to love. But the school of Christ teaches love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. You have operated against one another; now come and be yoked together under the gentle hand of Him who says, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Your marriage needs not just a fresh coat of paint, but a deliverance from the very power of sin, a sanctification that only God can work. Look to your heavenly Father, altogether and alone, for that. He has delivered you from the guilt of sin; He will deliver you from its dominance.

Make no delay. Together, on your knees, seek the Lord who says, "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow." Then rise and speak the truth in love, remembering that love forgives and forgets, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. Let your approaching anniversary be not a milestone of past sorrows, but an altar of gratitude: "I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord." God has permitted this chastening that you might return to Him and to each other. Do not despise it. Instead, let your song in the house of your pilgrimage be one of deliverance, deliverance from the archers of slander, from the pit of despair, from the bondage of unforgiveness.

Charge your hearts with this: divine pardon is the only forgiveness possible, for no one can remit sin but God only. And if He has remitted yours, who are you to withhold from your spouse what the blood of Jesus has already covered? Bring your secrets to the cross, lay them down together, and walk out of that dark room hand in hand, for the Lord has commanded deliverance for you. He is gracious, He has found a ransom, and He will cause even this valley of trouble to be a door of hope. May He grant you grace, mercy, compassion, and a love that grows stronger with every forgiven fault, till death do you truly and joyfully unite.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Chrysostom]

The sickness in your marriage has a cure, but it demands courage, not cowardice. You say you both want renewal, yet you hide behind the very secrets that poison your union. What you call an emotional affair is nothing less than the defrauding Paul speaks of, breaking in upon the marriage of another by stealing the heart that belongs to your spouse. You have each in turn made yourselves strangers, even enemies, while a so-called friend works as a mocker and a destroyer. That person who traded on your confidences is the foul stench brought into the preparation of sweet ointment. Marriage is a bond ordained by God, a thing of honor and purity; but a harlot is a severing and a dissolving, whether the betrayal happens in the flesh or in the secret chambers of the soul. This blackmail thrives only because you both cling to your unrighteousness rather than flee to the light.

You are afraid to reveal your faults because you say you both have an issue with forgiveness. But consider: you are asking God to cover your marriage, yet you will not do the one thing He commands of those who seek mercy. You will not forgive even the possibility of your spouse’s confession. You fear losing one another, so you protect lies instead of protecting the truth. This is not caution; it is ungodliness holding the truth in unrighteousness. If you want renewal, you must first make confession, not to me or to some intermediary, but to each other before God. Let there be tears, yes, but also the blessedness of which the Psalmist speaks: “Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven.” Where blessedness is, all shame is removed. Do not say you cannot forgive; you have not even tried. Grace is not a feeling you wait for; it is a command you obey.

That person who knows your secrets and uses them as a weapon must be cut off utterly. You cannot restore your marriage while sharing an enemy. He is a digger-through of chambers, a subverter of homes. Have nothing more to do with him. Close every door. This is not cruelty but the necessary amputation of a diseased limb so that the body may live. Your marriage is the one flesh that Christ speaks of, a spiritual union that mirrors His bond with the Church. How can you expect holiness there while a third party spreads corruption? Remove the foul stench; let your home again be a place of chaste order.

Your twentieth anniversary is a good thing, but do not imagine that some new ceremony will accomplish what daily repentance and mercy cannot. Renewal happens when you stop operating against each other and begin to war against the sin, not the spouse. You were not taught to love, you say. Then learn now, from the school of Christ. Love is not soft sentiment; it is the hard work of bearing one another’s burdens, covering offenses, and refusing to let the sun go down on wrath. Marriage does not hinder salvation; an evil purpose makes ill use of marriage. Use it with moderation, with chastity, and you can be first in the kingdom. Let your bed be undefiled, your speech honest, and your forgiveness swift. Then the protecting grace of God will overshadow your home, and your three children will see not just a family that stayed together, but one that was raised from the dead by the mercy of Christ.