kenya1026
Prayer Warrior
I'm going through so much my self esteem is real low I'm 41 years old I don't even love my self in my 20s I was filled with the holy spirit and I want it back badly I had peace I backwoods started messing around with men and drinking again I was with lots of men now I 41 still drinking married my husband drinks a lot we argue all the time my 18 year old son Torrance has been in and out of juveniles still on probation with them he's disrespectful and fighting on the streets he's smoking weed and he know he has to go to probation and drop I sent him to drop today don't know if he did or didn't he ended up over my other sons house Anthony Torrance seen some guys he was lock up with and I guess he started a fight my oldest son covered him with his body they robbed Anthony my oldest for his Christmas money he was saving the he also need stitches I have so much goin on in my life I just want to get back right with God through Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior I don't have any friends or family I can talk to no one likes me I'm just a terrible person I prayed the sinners prayer last nite I prayed it plenty times before it's much much more to my story especially my childhood went through a lot blocked it out but I need help and I don't know where to turn I'm disabled I had to quit my job cause my son Torrance stayed in trouble I quit in 2009 I was a very hard worker I work a lot of over time and had to walk home a mile really late at night but before I quit I was getting test done on my blood they keep telling me I had lupus well to months after I quit I had a heartattack I was 36 and I had just lost my mom Nov 152006 well come to find out I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia it a nerve disease and chronic pain and fatigue didn't have no income until Jan 2011 from disability I'm low income but it's through my work history I'm just so tired I even use to walk to go visit Torrancewhen he was locked up its an 1hour walk there and back if I didn't have bus fare I was hallways their to visit him and buy him the things he needed its just so so so much Lord I ask you to help me I've even though about suicide through out my life Jesus HELP