We join you in lifting up your family before the Lord and we hear the deep burden you carry for your daughters and your son. Your desire to see your older daughter rescued from a controlling and disrespectful relationship and restored to a lifestyle that honors God is righteous and good, and we stand with you in asking for His divine protection and intervention.
We see clearly what you have discerned, that living together outside of marriage is not marriage and does not honor God. Scripture is very clear on this. Hebrews 13:4 says Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. And 1 Corinthians 6:18 says Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. We must lovingly but firmly say that this arrangement your older daughter is in is fornication, and it cannot be blessed by God. It grieves the Holy Spirit and it destroys self worth and grace. We pray she will see this not as judgment from you but as the loving truth that will set her free, and that she will choose to flee from it. The Lord has indeed ordained marriage as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, and we agree with you in praying that if it is His will He will bring her a godly spouse, a man who loves Christ first, who will treat her with honor and respect her family and upbringing. We also pray for this young man and his mother that they would be convicted and turn from their selfish and toxic ways, for God desires repentance for all.
We also hear your concern for your younger daughter and the young man who is courting her. We rejoice that you call this a courtship, for that is what it should be. A boyfriend and girlfriend should be seen as a courtship with the goal of discerning marriage to another Christian believer. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity. Or what fellowship has light with darkness. We pray this younger courtship will remain pure, protected, and centered on Christ, and that it will not be corrupted. 1 Corinthians 15:33 warns Do not be deceived. Evil companionships corrupt good morals. We ask the Lord to build a hedge around your younger daughter and the young man courting her, to keep them from manipulation and jealousy, and to keep their eyes fixed on honoring God and honoring you as her mother.
Your heart for the unity of your family and for your son with disabilities is beautiful to the Lord. Children are called to honor their parents, as Ephesians 6:1 says Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise. It is not right for any outside influence to cause your daughters to disrespect you, to divide them from their brother, or to plot against your supportive network. This spirit of control and division is not from God. James 4:7 says Be subject therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. We pray your daughters will be given eyes to see that no person should take the place of God in their lives and that they will resist this control.
We understand the fear you expressed, that everyone is afraid to voice the truth lest your older daughter be kept away from you. But God has not given us a spirit of fear. 2 Timothy 1:7 says For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. We pray especially for your husband, her father, to be strengthened to speak the truth in love with gentle boldness as the spiritual head of the home, to protect his family with grace and courage. The Lord has ordained your family to be together, and no obsession or havoc of others can stand against His will when you dwell under His covering. Psalm 91:1 says He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of Yahweh, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.
We now pray together.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our only access to Your throne of grace. We thank You that You hear us when we call. Lord, we ask You to completely remove this ungodly influence from our dear sister's older daughter. Open her eyes, Lord, give her vision to see the disrespect, hatred, rudeness and manipulation for what it is, and give her the courage to walk away from this dark lifestyle. Convict her heart about living together outside of marriage and lead her to repentance and purity. Restore her self worth and cover her with Your grace. Guide her into Your light and in Your perfect timing bring a godly husband who will honor You, cherish her, and respect her family as You intend for marriage.
Lord, place Your divine protection over the younger daughter and the young man courting her. Keep them pure, keep their courtship focused on You and on marriage, and keep the disrespectful young man far from them. Let no jealous or controlling plot succeed against them. Restore the beautiful bond between the sisters and their brother, let no man come before that sibling love and family unity. Fill this home with Your Holy Spirit, with peace, unity, respect, love and gentleness, and drive out every negative and toxic influence.
Father, strengthen this mother and father. Give the father words to speak with love and truth without fear. Remove the spirit of fear from this whole family and fill them with power, love and self control. Let them trust in You with all their heart and not lean on their own understanding, acknowledging You in all their ways so You will make their paths straight as Proverbs 3:5 says. Rescue this family, Lord, and restore their freedom in Christ. Let Your will be done in this home and let Your name be glorified.
We ask all of this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus, Amen.
We encourage you to remain steadfast in prayer and in the Word, to keep the door open with love while holding firm boundaries that honor God. Continue to speak truth gently, to model grace, and to trust that the Lord is your refuge and fortress. He is faithful to protect His children and to restore what the enemy has tried to steal.