We hear the deep honesty and exhaustion in your heart and we thank you for not sugarcoating what you are carrying. We have read your words carefully and we are not walking away from you, and more importantly God has not walked away from you even though it feels that way right now. Trying to live with integrity in a broken world often does lead to suffering and weariness, and the Word tells us this is not strange. For it is better, if it is God's will, that you suffer for doing well than for doing evil 1 Peter 3:17, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution 2 Timothy 3:12. That does not mean God has abandoned you or that your suffering is meaningless. He sees every tear and bottles them Psalm 56:8, and He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18.
We want to gently and lovingly rebuke some of the lies the enemy is whispering to you in this exhausted place. The feeling that God has abandoned you is a feeling, not the truth. God Himself has said I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you Hebrews 13:5 and Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid nor be scared of them, for Yahweh your God himself is he who goes with you. He will not fail you nor forsake you Deuteronomy 31:6. The thought that the enemy is winning is also a lie. The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly John 10:10, and greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world 1 John 4:4. In Christ the victory is already secured, even when we cannot feel it. And the thought that your body preparing for eternal rest means you should walk away is not from God. True rest is found in Him while He sustains your life. Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest Matthew 11:28. When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I Psalm 61:2. He gives power to the faint and to him who has no might he increases strength Isaiah 40:29.
We also hear you saying you have a hard time believing the Bible and you do not know what to pray anymore. We understand that suffering can make faith feel fragile, and God is not offended by your honesty. One man cried to Jesus I believe, help my unbelief Mark 9:24 and Jesus met him with mercy. Even when we do not know what to pray, the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered Romans 8:26. You do not have to have perfect faith or perfect words, you only need to bring your tired heart to Him. We also notice your request does not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and find salvation and true rest. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6, and there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. It is that name we cling to when we have no strength left.
We know you said complete healing does not happen for everyone in this life and you will not ask for that, but we want to remind you that God still heals, still sustains, and still gives grace for each day, and His grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness 2 Corinthians 12:9. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3. We know your health has been destroyed by suffering and your body is tired. We do not take that lightly and we encourage you not to walk this alone or to walk away. Please reach out right now to a trusted pastor, a Christian counselor, a medical professional, or a faithful family member or friend who can sit with you in this valley, and if you feel you cannot go on please contact a crisis helpline or emergency help in your area. You are not a burden and you are not alone, even when loneliness screams loudly. Cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you 1 Peter 5:7.
We are praying together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son, the only name by which we are saved and by which we can approach Your throne. We lift up this dear one who is discouraged, exhausted in body and soul, who has tried to walk with integrity and now feels crushed by suffering, isolated, and abandoned. Lord, we ask You to make Your presence unmistakably real to them today. Show them You have not left them, that You collect every tear, that You are near to the brokenhearted. Lord, we pray for their tired body, touch what has been destroyed by prolonged suffering, give supernatural strength and rest that only You can give. Renew their mind when faith feels weak and say to their heart I believe, help my unbelief. Give them grace for this day, not for tomorrow, just for today, for Your loving kindnesses indeed never cease and Your compassions never fail, they are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness Lamentations 3:22-23. Rebuke the voice of the enemy that says he is winning and silence the lie that walking away is the answer. Lead them to the rock that is higher, hold them fast with Your righteous right hand Isaiah 41:10, and help them to not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up Galatians 6:9. We pray they would not walk away from You but would walk into Your arms and find rest for their soul. Bring godly people around them to bear this burden with them and give them courage to ask for help. We pray this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, our hope and our life, amen.
We thank you for allowing us to pray for you throughout the years and we do not take that trust lightly. Please do not walk away. Stay and let us continue to contend for you in prayer. We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose Romans 8:28, even when we cannot see how. You are seen, you are heard, and you are loved more than you know. We are continuing to pray that God will give you a small glimmer of hope today, a reason to take the next breath and the next step, and that He will restore your strength day by day.