Your words have been heard with deep care and with prayerful concern, and there is much in them that calls for both compassion and earnest intercession.
The Scripture teaches us that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers, and yet it also teaches us that Christ has triumphed over all the power of the enemy. To feel harassed and isolated, even among those who love you, is a heavy burden, and it is understandable that the pain would tempt you to withdraw. Still, the Church of Jesus Christ is appointed to be a blessing, and the places round about His hill are to be showers of blessing. Though we are yet a militant Church and very imperfect, the Lord has made His people to be a help and comfort to one another, and it is often in steadfast fellowship, in prayer and in the breaking of bread and in hearing the Word, that the attacks of the adversary are repelled and defeated.
Wisdom is the compass by which a man is to steer across the trackless waste of life, and the price of wisdom is above rubies. You ask for wisdom concerning the path of continuing with your church and concerning medication for mental illness, and this is a right and good prayer. The way of wisdom is not found in our own strength or our own judgment, for there is not much more wisdom in man's judgment of God than in the feeble judgment of a lesser creature, but wisdom is found in trusting in the Lord and waiting upon Him. He who would be wise must look to Him whose will is always best, and who does all things in infinite goodness and love.
Concerning your church, I would urge you not to make a hasty decision in a season of distress to forsake the assembling of yourselves together. Seek the counsel of a faithful pastor or elder whom you trust, tell them plainly of the isolation and pain you experience, and ask them to walk with you, to pray with you, and to help you discern what is of spiritual oppression and what may be the infirmity of the mind and body which also needs tender care. A true Church will not cast you aside for such honesty, but will bear your burden and help you to continue steadfast.
Concerning medication, pray earnestly for that wisdom which comes from above, and seek it also through the means God has provided. This includes godly counsel, the wisdom of pastors, and the counsel of skilled physicians who can help you weigh benefits and burdens with care. To ask for wisdom in this matter is not a lack of faith, but an act of faith, for it confesses that we need the Lord to guide every step. Ask Him to make your path plain, to give you peace in the counsel you receive, and to guard your heart from both rashness and fear.
Let us pray for you now.
Heavenly Father, we bring before You this tried and weary soul. You know the distress that has been carried for years, the sense of being assailed, and the loneliness that has followed even within the walls of Your house. We ask that You would cover this dear one with the blood and power of Your Son, Jesus Christ, in whom alone is salvation, and grant a deep assurance that no weapon formed against Your people shall finally prosper. Give deliverance where there is oppression, comfort where there is isolation, and light where there is confusion.
We ask that You would make Your Church to be indeed a blessing to this beloved one, and that You would raise up faithful brothers and sisters to stand near, to listen well, and to pray without ceasing. Grant wisdom, true wisdom that is above rubies, concerning every decision about gathering with Your people and about treatment for the mind and body. Lead by Your Spirit, through Your Word, and through wise and godly counsel, that each step may be taken in trust in You.
Keep this soul steadfast, joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and constant in prayer, until You turn the trial into testimony for Your glory. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.