Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing so much of your story with such honesty. Hearing about the abuse you and your sister suffered, the darkness of that cult background, and the long aftermath you still carry is heart breaking. At the same time there is great joy in hearing that Jesus has been your Savior since 2016 and that He has already delivered you from severe addiction and from prostitution. The way God brought the gospel to you through a faithful witness on a difficult journey is a testimony to His pursuing grace.
Jesus showed who He is by what He did. His works bore witness to His identity and authority. The healings, the feeding of multitudes, the calming of wind and sea, and His command over evil spirits all pointed to the same truth, that He is the Lord and that the powers of darkness must obey Him. Scripture shows that when He commanded unclean spirits they left, and the person who had been tormented was restored. No matter how overwhelming the spiritual battle feels, His authority in the spiritual realm is complete. He is able to deliver, and He cares more for one person being set free than for any other loss or concern around it.
The Bible also connects His suffering to our healing. Isaiah prophesied that He would bear our griefs and infirmities, and Matthew applies that directly to Jesus healing the sick and those oppressed by evil spirits. That means His work at Calvary touches both soul and body. He bore our sin for forgiveness and He also bore our infirmities. Because of that we can bring every symptom, every fragmentation, every wound of mind and memory to Him and ask for healing.
At the same time Scripture helps us keep a balanced hope. There are different kinds of healing. Sometimes Jesus healed instantly with a word or a touch, sometimes healing came gradually, and sometimes He works through the slow, divinely created processes He placed within our bodies and minds. Any true healing is from Him, whether it is felt in a moment or unfolds over time. He also heals the inner person, the emotions, the memories, the scars that others cannot see. What you describe as a fragmented identity is not beyond His reach. He is the one who restores the mind and makes whole what has been broken.
Even with that hope for healing, the greatest miracle is the one you have already received, the forgiveness of sins and new life in Christ. That is the eternal issue. Whether healing comes quickly or gradually, your salvation is secure and is the foundation for everything else. The apostle Paul prayed three times for a painful affliction to be removed and learned that God sometimes allows a thorn to remain while still giving grace to stand. This does not mean we stop asking for healing, but it does mean we trust His wisdom and timing and rest in the greater miracle that you are forgiven, justified, and made a child of God.
You asked about forgiveness for your parents and about carrying that burden. Forgiveness as Jesus teaches it is not an option or a suggestion, it is a command for those who have been forgiven. That does not mean what was done to you was not evil, it was deeply evil, and it does not mean justice does not matter. It means that because you have received complete forgiveness from God, not a partial forgiveness that keeps a handle showing, He now calls and enables you to release those who harmed you into His hands. Human forgiveness often holds back, but God's forgiveness is total. He washes away sin completely when we come to Him. In the same way He wants to form His spirit in you, the spirit that could pray even from the cross, Father forgive them for they do not know what they do. You do not have to manufacture this on your own. You can ask Jesus to be the source of forgiveness through you, to soften your heart where it feels impossible, and to carry the weight you cannot carry.
That also fits with your cry for justice. Justice does belong to God's throne. He sees every hidden act and He will judge righteously. You can trust that no abuse is overlooked by Him, and you do not have to secure justice yourself. Leaving justice to Him frees you to seek healing while knowing He will do what is right.
For your family who have not yet turned to the Lord, Scripture says the god of this world has blinded eyes and holds people captive. They need the same miracle you received, repentance and forgiveness of sins through Jesus alone. God is able to open blind eyes. We will pray that He grants them repentance, that the light of the gospel breaks through, and that any hold of darkness over them is broken by Christ's authority.
You also asked for increased faith to stand in the victory Jesus secured at the cross. Faith is not a technique to force God to act, it is quiet trust in who He is and what He has already done. Stand in His victory by daily bringing His promises to mind, by prayer, by staying in His Word, and by asking the Holy Spirit, whom God gives to those who obey Him, to strengthen you. The adversary is real, but he is defeated. You can resist him by standing in Christ, not in your own strength.
We are praying for you now. Father, in the name of Jesus we bring this dear child of Yours before Your throne. Thank You for saving and delivering from addiction and from the past life, and for keeping through so much pain. We ask for deliverance from every unclean spirit and for Your authority to be manifest. We ask for healing for body, mind, and emotions, for the fragmented places to be made whole by Your gentle and powerful hand, whether in a moment or through a gradual process. We ask for deep peace where there has been terror, and for rest where there is overwhelm. We ask that You teach and enable forgiveness that reflects Your complete forgiveness, and that You take the burden that feels too heavy to carry alone. We ask for Your perfect justice according to Your throne, and for faith that stands unshaken in Christ's finished work. And we ask for salvation for mother, father, sister and all family members still in darkness, that their eyes would be opened and they would receive repentance and forgiveness through Jesus. Keep this precious one close, guard with Your presence, and let the healing of Your river bring life to every part. Amen.
You are not alone in this battle. Keep bringing every need to Jesus, keep trusting His complete forgiveness toward you, and keep looking to Him as your healer and deliverer. He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.
Jesus showed who He is by what He did. His works bore witness to His identity and authority. The healings, the feeding of multitudes, the calming of wind and sea, and His command over evil spirits all pointed to the same truth, that He is the Lord and that the powers of darkness must obey Him. Scripture shows that when He commanded unclean spirits they left, and the person who had been tormented was restored. No matter how overwhelming the spiritual battle feels, His authority in the spiritual realm is complete. He is able to deliver, and He cares more for one person being set free than for any other loss or concern around it.
The Bible also connects His suffering to our healing. Isaiah prophesied that He would bear our griefs and infirmities, and Matthew applies that directly to Jesus healing the sick and those oppressed by evil spirits. That means His work at Calvary touches both soul and body. He bore our sin for forgiveness and He also bore our infirmities. Because of that we can bring every symptom, every fragmentation, every wound of mind and memory to Him and ask for healing.
At the same time Scripture helps us keep a balanced hope. There are different kinds of healing. Sometimes Jesus healed instantly with a word or a touch, sometimes healing came gradually, and sometimes He works through the slow, divinely created processes He placed within our bodies and minds. Any true healing is from Him, whether it is felt in a moment or unfolds over time. He also heals the inner person, the emotions, the memories, the scars that others cannot see. What you describe as a fragmented identity is not beyond His reach. He is the one who restores the mind and makes whole what has been broken.
Even with that hope for healing, the greatest miracle is the one you have already received, the forgiveness of sins and new life in Christ. That is the eternal issue. Whether healing comes quickly or gradually, your salvation is secure and is the foundation for everything else. The apostle Paul prayed three times for a painful affliction to be removed and learned that God sometimes allows a thorn to remain while still giving grace to stand. This does not mean we stop asking for healing, but it does mean we trust His wisdom and timing and rest in the greater miracle that you are forgiven, justified, and made a child of God.
You asked about forgiveness for your parents and about carrying that burden. Forgiveness as Jesus teaches it is not an option or a suggestion, it is a command for those who have been forgiven. That does not mean what was done to you was not evil, it was deeply evil, and it does not mean justice does not matter. It means that because you have received complete forgiveness from God, not a partial forgiveness that keeps a handle showing, He now calls and enables you to release those who harmed you into His hands. Human forgiveness often holds back, but God's forgiveness is total. He washes away sin completely when we come to Him. In the same way He wants to form His spirit in you, the spirit that could pray even from the cross, Father forgive them for they do not know what they do. You do not have to manufacture this on your own. You can ask Jesus to be the source of forgiveness through you, to soften your heart where it feels impossible, and to carry the weight you cannot carry.
That also fits with your cry for justice. Justice does belong to God's throne. He sees every hidden act and He will judge righteously. You can trust that no abuse is overlooked by Him, and you do not have to secure justice yourself. Leaving justice to Him frees you to seek healing while knowing He will do what is right.
For your family who have not yet turned to the Lord, Scripture says the god of this world has blinded eyes and holds people captive. They need the same miracle you received, repentance and forgiveness of sins through Jesus alone. God is able to open blind eyes. We will pray that He grants them repentance, that the light of the gospel breaks through, and that any hold of darkness over them is broken by Christ's authority.
You also asked for increased faith to stand in the victory Jesus secured at the cross. Faith is not a technique to force God to act, it is quiet trust in who He is and what He has already done. Stand in His victory by daily bringing His promises to mind, by prayer, by staying in His Word, and by asking the Holy Spirit, whom God gives to those who obey Him, to strengthen you. The adversary is real, but he is defeated. You can resist him by standing in Christ, not in your own strength.
We are praying for you now. Father, in the name of Jesus we bring this dear child of Yours before Your throne. Thank You for saving and delivering from addiction and from the past life, and for keeping through so much pain. We ask for deliverance from every unclean spirit and for Your authority to be manifest. We ask for healing for body, mind, and emotions, for the fragmented places to be made whole by Your gentle and powerful hand, whether in a moment or through a gradual process. We ask for deep peace where there has been terror, and for rest where there is overwhelm. We ask that You teach and enable forgiveness that reflects Your complete forgiveness, and that You take the burden that feels too heavy to carry alone. We ask for Your perfect justice according to Your throne, and for faith that stands unshaken in Christ's finished work. And we ask for salvation for mother, father, sister and all family members still in darkness, that their eyes would be opened and they would receive repentance and forgiveness through Jesus. Keep this precious one close, guard with Your presence, and let the healing of Your river bring life to every part. Amen.
You are not alone in this battle. Keep bringing every need to Jesus, keep trusting His complete forgiveness toward you, and keep looking to Him as your healer and deliverer. He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.
