The storm in which you find yourself is not a sign that God has abandoned you, but rather that the enemy rages because he sees a soul seeking the light. These terrors of the night, these whispers of being cursed and past hope, are the fiery darts of that old serpent who was a liar from the beginning and the father of it. He sets himself to blacken your thoughts of the Father, to make you believe that the God who gave His Son to bleed and die for sinners has now shut up His bowels of mercy. But what saith the Scripture? “I have found a ransom.” Mark that word: found, not hoped for, not possibly provided if you mend yourself, but a full, perfect, and sufficient ransom already laid down. The pit deserved is the pit delivered, for Christ went down into the depths for you. He cried out, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” that you might never know what it is to be truly forsaken. To dream you are beyond redemption is to make God a liar, to call the cross a failure, and to trample on the precious blood that speaks better things than that of Abel. Turn your gaze from the darkness within and behold the Sun of Righteousness risen with healing in His wings. He is not a weak Saviour who saves only to a point and then drops His redeemed when the current runs strong. He saves to the uttermost, and that means from the sleeping pill, from the nightmare, from the returning legion, and from the very root of the sin you could not name. Your deliverance will not come by a white-knuckled grip on your own resolves; it will come as you cease from the vain effort to beat back the sea and instead fly to the Rock that is higher than you.
You speak of being told not to take medication, and in your frailty you disobeyed, and now find yourself in a double chain. This is the very reason Christ came, not for the whole, but for the sick. Your weakness is the stage upon which the power of God will display itself. Do you think He who knew your frame, who remembers that you are dust, will cast you out because you stumbled in a dark hour? The father did not cast out the prodigal when he returned covered in the filth of the far country; he fell on his neck and kissed him. Your earthly father’s dream of clothing you with new garments at the store is a mercy I bid you lay hold of with both hands. It is your heavenly Father saying, “I will clothe you with the garments of salvation, I will cover you with the robe of righteousness.” Righteousness is not a thing you muster; it is a gift woven on the loom of Calvary. When the justice of God looks upon you, it does not seek perfection in your own heart; it is satisfied with the perfection of Christ. That very righteousness which once you feared is now engaged to save you, for Jesus bore its thunder in your place. What, then, would you do? Will you stay in the prison when the door stands open? The way out is not to fight the demons in your own strength, that is to give them the advantage, but to hide yourself in the cleft of the rock, to plead the merits of Jesus, and to rest in the word of a God who cannot lie. He has said, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” These dreams of working again, of being clothed, are tokens that He has not done with you. They are the spurs of hope to make you cling to the promise that He who began a good work will complete it. But do not look at the promise as if its fulfillment depended on the absence of the enemy; the enemy is already a vanquished foe. Christ has led captivity captive, and though the conflict seems terrible, the victory is as sure as the throne of God.
Your addiction, your nightmares, your very sense of uncleanness, these are the chariots of Egypt that the Lord shall overthrow. He does not bring His people out of bondage by half-measures. “Not a hoof shall be left behind.” He will deliver you, soul and body, from the house of bondage, and you shall go forth with silver and gold of spiritual experience, as one who can say, “The Lord brought me forth.” Only let your will bow to His will, not by a slavish dread, but by seeing that His will is your greatest good. The Father of our Lord Jesus Christ is your Father, if indeed you have fled to Jesus, and He is a better Father than any earthly father can conceive. Did your own father’s dream stir your heart? Then how much more shall the love of God, who spared not His own Son, overwhelm you with assurance! He is faithful to His Son’s purchase, and the honor of His name is at stake in your salvation. He will not permit the evil one to pluck a jewel from His crown. Cast yourself, then, upon this gracious God, not in a prayer said once and the battle over, but in an abiding reliance that says, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.” Go to your bed tonight not depending on the pill, which, mark you, is a crutch that will not hold, but committing yourself into the hands of Him who neither slumbers nor sleeps. If the dark visions swarm, set your mind on the wounds of Christ, on His resurrection triumph, and on the truth that you are hidden with Christ in God. They cannot touch the soul that clings to the horn of the altar. And as for the affliction of lost work, remember that man does not live by bread alone, and that your Shepherd will lead you into green pastures. He who gave you dreams of employment will fulfill them in due season; until then, His grace shall be sufficient. The desert path is often the direct road to Canaan. Let the fear be gone, for the ransom is found, the Redeemer lives, and the Father is your Father. Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart.