Dear Prayer Partners. I am sorry I have not posted an update. I am deeply grateful to see all of the responses to my prayer request. I will make it a point to visit more often. My job situation is unchanged, I have no steady, meaningful income. My sister did help me with money to pay my mortgage. She shares her food with me. I know that these are blessings, but they come with a price. My sister talks about me in the negative to friends and family and shared my personal business. I caught her doing it and confronted her. I told her I cannot trust her anymore. Yet she is helping me. I do not understand our relationship.
I had an interview last week. I prepared for a week in advance. I felt the interview went well, but the way things work at my company are not honest. Often times the hiring mgr. already knows who they want in a role. They conduct interviews for legal reasons before hiring exactly who they want. This has happened many, many times and will continue to go on. I am trying to get interviews with other companies, but so far I have not been chosen.
My bills are still behind, but I was able to make payment arrangements to at least keep the utilities, internet, phone on. I was not able to pay my HOA fees last month or this month. I have already been sued by the HOA and was just about finished paying off the past due and now it seems that I am right back in the hole, which means I can be sued again. I filed my taxes myself this year and made several mistakes which has cost me time in getting a possible refund. I say possible because one of my employers failed to give me a 1099 in 2015 which resulted in a late filing.
Instead of praying for myself, I continue to pray for others. T.J. needs a full time permanent job. She is the strongest Christian lady that I know. She is deeply in debt.. My brother has major medical problems and is on FMLA now. His company s demanding he retire, but he cannot just yet or he will compromise his retirement. My friend C. is pregnant and I am not sure she wants the baby. She is under a ton of stress as she and her husband do not make enough money to support themselves let alone a baby. My friend M. just found out that she will be retiring with no healthcare benefits.
Father, if you cannot or will not bless me with a full time job, will you please bless my friends? I understand if you want nothing to do with me because I have given up on our relationship. You are God and you will bless whom you want to bless and there is nothing I can do about it. Even my mustard seed faith is draining out. I have no car. No license. No healthcare. Under $300.00 in the bank to last me until God knows when. I apply for ten jobs each day (my goal) and hear from none. There is a leak under my sink that I cannot fix. There is a hole behind the stove where mice can get in. I have a mortgage that I cannot pay right now. I have HOA fees and utilities that are past due. My heart sinks everyday that I wake up and remember my situation.
I know that others are suffering even more and I feel I have no right to cry out to God. My situation could be so much worse. This makes me feel ashamed to even write these things. But what about the greater good? What about the people who will not eat today? Who have to walk miles and miles for clean water? Who will die today for their beliefs? Who didn't wake up this morning? Who will be evicted, fired, denied what they need to survive? I cannot forget about these people. They are the ones who need help the most, not me. God please help those who need it most, first. In Christ's name amen.
