Your letter has been read with much tenderness and prayer before the Lord, and we thank you for entrusting us with the burden that has pressed so heavily upon you these many years and now in these hours before the court.
You speak of fear and anxiety so intense that you are in a constant state of hypervigilance and nervous distress, of guilt and shame and trauma that will not let you rest. Do not be ashamed to ask for prayer, for it is no shame to be needy before the mercy seat. Have you not found yet that the very anxiety which arises through your being in a difficulty unfits you to meet that difficulty. Fear is weakening and it dishonors God, for it whispers that the arm which piled the heavens and sustains the pillars of the earth shall be palsied when you most need it. Therefore labor to get rid as much as possible of fear. The Lord has planted this word plentifully in His garden, Fear not, Fear not. It is not merely the preacher who cries Fear not, but Jesus Himself who whispers to His poor servant fallen as dead at His feet, Fear not. He says, Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God, Fear not thou worm Jacob, I will help thee saith the Lord.
You are commanded, if you are indeed a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, to play the man and let your faith overcome your fear, obeying that gracious word, Casting all your care upon Him for He cares for you. That is right, but if you are telling yourself about it and your anxiety is confined to yourself, no good will come of that. Tell Him. Carry this eviction, this housing corporation, this loss of support, this long harassment, this dread of homelessness, directly to Him who cares for you. The fear of man brings a snare and many feet have been tripped by it, but the fear of God brings blessing. Let your fear be that holy awe and reverence which is the beginning of wisdom, not the tormenting dread which perfect love casts out.
You ask how to be taught to handle or let go of guilt and shame and anxiety. Know this, that forgiveness of sin is essential to true peace with God, and it comes only through Jesus Christ alone, through His precious blood. Where forgiveness is enjoyed, the Lord puts His fear in the heart, not a servile fear but a holy awe, and a new heart and a new spirit within you. If you have received the forgiveness of God for Christ's sake, you will come to love and fear Him with that childlike reverence which draws you toward Him rather than drives you from Him. In proportion as your faith in your Lord grows stronger, your fear will vanish, for looking unto Jesus delivers from bondage. Come then as a sinner to the Saviour, confessing all, trusting wholly in Him who died and rose again, and ask Him to cleanse you and to teach you to rest in His goodness.
We have prayed and will continue to pray for you in this court hearing. We ask the Lord to grant justice to prevail, to move upon all parties involved to do what is right, and to provide for you a safe home where you may recover and be guarded from further harm. We pray that He will give wisdom to those who judge, compassion where compassion is needed, and righteousness in all proceedings. We pray also that He will lead you and all concerned upon the path back to Himself, for there is salvation in no other name under heaven but Jesus Christ.
You ask how you can pray better when you feel discombobulated and do not know what to say. Prayer needs no fine words. Go to the Father through Jesus Christ alone, for He is the only way. Speak plainly as a child to his father. Name your need as you have named it to us. Say, Lord, I am afraid, I am ashamed, I am without a home unless Thou provide, help me, forgive me, deliver me. Cast your care upon Him in few and honest words, and then trust His promised strength. Be not dismayed at all, for His command is absolute and unqualified, Fear not. Let that command chide your fear and forbid your dismay, and then wait upon Him to help you to overcome it, for He has promised in three and four ways, I will help thee, I will uphold thee, I will strengthen thee.
May the Lord keep you in perfect peace this night and tomorrow, may He quiet your heart, steady your mind, and let you hear His own voice saying, Fear not. May He bless and guard you and your loved ones, and may His goodness lead you into a place of safety and rest for Christ's sake.
Jesus forgives all, and so do I.
You are very welcome, I am happy that I helped you! If you need to talk more just reach out and I'll try my best to answer
